if i fell | lennstarr ✅

five

3rd of june, 1964

i've just written new song. if i fell. it's for you, ritchie. i've showed you and you like that. it makes me happy that you like that.

but it breaks my heart at the same time. you don't see how much i love you. you are always with your girlfriend maureen.

if you only knew how many nights i've cried just because of you. i'll never have you. you'll never be mine and i know that.

it's killing me. sometimes i wish i would be rather dead. it would be easier, i guess. but i can't do that. i think you would be sad and i don't want you to be sad. it would kill me too... that's double kill, ain't it?

"i would be with you rather than with mo. you fool, john." ringo wept. "i always loved that song. i thought it was for your birdie, not for me."

the blue-eyed man took out from box another letter and read it with pain inside his heart. it was getting bigger and bigger.

with every single world what he had read ringo was feeling something strange. his heart was beating faster and faster. his hands was trembling and he wished john will survive.

7th of july, 1964

yesterday was the premiere of a hard day's night. it was nice watching ritchie. he was too nice in that movie. he's such a great actor, photographer. he's talented. great drummer.

if i could choose someone who would be my idol, it would be richard starkey.

you're 24 today. happy birthday to you, ritchie. to the one and only richtie.

"you fool," blue eyes of drummer filled with tears. he blushed but he was smiling, "but i am the biggest fan of you." he smirked.

there was also another paper. the font was john's but it wasn't as nice written as the other letters. that piece of paper was also from tears. ringo was afraid because he knew it was john's.

that fucking asshole! idiot, i am mad as much as i've never been before. maybe not mad but sad and jealous.

i asked him what do he think about true love. that fucking asshole replied that it's like a dinno. it doesn't exist anymore.

and then he engaged with maureen cox, soon starkey. if he only knew that she was cheating him with george. i can't say that. it's between ringo and george and maureen. but i'm fucking mad at george but not as much as i am mad at ringo.

his reply killed me, really.

ringo couldn't believe what he had just read. he knew about george but he was shocked because of john. he remembered when the rhythm guitarist asked him that. he replied what he had felt in that moment but his opinion changed now, he guessed.

the blue-eyed man cried like a child. he didn't want to read another letter. he caused too much pain to john.

"i am so sorry, johnny. i didn't want to hurt you. i've loved you." he whispered as he looked again on that photo, which he took from his pocked.

ringo smiled at john who was smiling too. then he took a breath and gently kissed john on the photo. "if i could kiss you once again." he whispered.

☆ ☆ ☆

this chapter is for pretyodd. i hope you enjoyed it.