"Oh damn! Are you okay, Olivia? Your eyes are really red and puffy."
"I'm okay. Life just has me down, that's it."
"You wanna talk about it? Cause I'm here for you"
"Nahh, it's okay. I'm okay. I promise. Thanks though."
"Anytime."
He smiles, and I feel my heart flutter.
"Oh, I remember, you needed help with homework, right? How about we do it in the break, say in the cafeteria?"
"That sounds good."
Jane arrives. She asks Xander if he'll like to go to class with her. He apologises and goes with her. I realise, I am happy for them. I shouldn't be mad at someone for being in love. I mean, you cant help yourself. That's the thing about feelings, they have a mind of their own.
And here, I have decided that even though I still am in love with Xander, I need to accept the fact that I can never have him. I need to accept it that this isn't a movie where I get everything after a few tears. This is real life and it's not as good as my 5 year old self thought it is.
I plaster a smile on my face, and think about how it's gonna be alright, I know it will. The universe isn't that bad. Good things will come my way, and I just have to be positive.
It's break, and I go to the cafeteria. Xander isn't here yet so I decide to treat myself with a slice of pizza. I deserve to love myself, because if I can't even love myself, how will the others love me. I find an empty table and I sit there.
Just as I finish eating, Xander arrives.
"I literally just finished eating, but your hair reminds me of cotton candy and I want cotton candy now."
He does that really cute 'I'm disappointed in you but I still love you' smile.
