I talk to Jane for a while. Then my mom calls me, asking me to get some groceries for her, so I decide to go, I ruined their date enough. I say my goodbyes and I sense a bit of happiness on both their faces. I am offended, but I'm always offended so never mind.
I am feeling satisfaction, and I know that's wrong, but what can I do? It's not like I chose to fall in love, right? Anyway, I've heard people say that to get what you want in life, you've got to make efforts for it, and that's what I'm doing.
It's now 9 p.m. and the date better be over so I texted Xander. I didn't know what to write so I just said, "hey"
"hi"
"wassup?"
"homework"
"same fam"
"i hate math, i can't do it ffs"
"heyheyhey, you can do anything you wish. you just need practice. i ll help you, dont worry"
"you don't have to"
"i have to, that's what friends are for"
"thanks"
I almost send him an ily out of habit, but I didn't, because I don't want to hide from him and Jane whenever I see each of them next.
I keep rereading the conversation again and again when I realised he called me his friend. Should I be worried about it? I mean, I got friendzoned, whaaatt?
me to me: you had one job
Maybe he said that because he's already going out with someone else and we never know when someone is using spytext.com or whatever that shit is. Or maybe he's just confused.
Or maybe he just doesn't see me the way I see him.
I just have to accept the fact that no one will ever fall in love with me, I am just not that kind of girl. These thoughts drift me off to sleep.
I wake up 15 minutes early before my alarm goes off, I don't want to get up, but I do. You just have to face your fears, and I promised myself that I would never stoop that low because of a crush.
I go to school feeling a bit lightheaded, when I bump into Xander. Oh, Xander, why did I agree to this study-"date" with you?
