My Greatest What If - Moira Gokongwei (Published)

Chapter 20

Everything halted when her mouth made contact with my skin– time, the world...my breathing.

I knew what to expect. I fully understood her disjointed explanation of what she wanted to do. I thought I was on top of it – after all, it was just a kiss, maybe on a different part of my body but just a kiss all the same.

And it was already too late when I realized that it was foolish of me to think that I had everything under control. I didn't.

It was as if the ability for logical thinking was sucked out of me with every movement of her lips; each stroke of her tongue made me feel sensations that were not only foreign but also dark, sensuous, and deep—pulling me deeper until I was nothing but a tangled mess of feelings, of nerve-endings, and longings.

I ceased to exist. The universe ended only to begin again when I felt her weight on top of me.

"I think I'm dying..." I heard myself whisper before her mouth invaded mine to remind me that I was indeed still alive, breathing...breathing her; taking in what she willingly gave and giving her the power to take what she wanted.

She abruptly changed tempo, slowing down considerably as if she had all the time in the world because I was at her mercy – her kisses became languid, undemanding, unhurried and somehow it made me want to beg for more.

When she fumbled with the button on my pants, I started to get nervous. But, I pushed that fear aside because I love her and that love would withstand whatever fear – even the thought that I would soon be naked.

She claimed my lips again and I reached for the buttons of her shirt. But she stilled both my hands by grasping them. "H'wag..." she said.

I stared in confusion at her. Bakit? I wanted to ask but she started kissing me again.

"I love you," she whispered into my ear before her tongue made a path down to the hollow below my neck.

But it was already too late. The fog that had clouded my mind had lifted and I was left to contend with the fact that there I was willing to bare my soul to her...and she wasn't.

"Tama na," I said. "Tama na..."

She stopped. "Baby, bakit?"

I pushed her gently off me and sat up to gather my clothes.

"Baby, saan ka pupunta?"

"Halika na. Kailangan nating pumasok sa opisina," I said, my voice trembling.

I put my clothes back on. "Anong oras na ba? Baka ma-traffic na ngayon at hindi na tayo umabot. You'll have to drive really fast." I rambled on and on because I thought that I was going to cry if I stopped talking. "Pero, mag-ingat ka pa rin, h'wag naman buwis-buhay. Alam mo na mahirap namang maaksidente tayo sa kamamadali—"

"Baby..."

"'Yan pa rin ba ang isusuot mo? Gusot na. Gusto mong ipili kita ng bagong damit?"

"Baby..."

"O, 'yan na lang. Mas bagay yata 'yan. Mas magaling ka namang pumili ng damit kaysa akin, eh."

"Baby, I'm sorry."

I laughed softly. "Na naman? Sorry na naman? Hindi ka pa ba nagsasawa sa kahihingi ng tawad sa akin? Kasi ako nagsasawa nang marinig 'yan galing sa'yo, eh. Araw-araw na lang. Minsan isang dosenang beses sa isang araw. Medyo nakakapagod pala."

"Baby, please, hear me out."

"You're not ready." I smiled at her. "And I'm not talking about sex. I'm talking about this relationship."