My Greatest What If - Moira Gokongwei (Published)

Chapter 23

"Baby, are you crying?" Gio whispered the question.

I shook my head.

"Look at me, please..." she asked trying to remove my hands from my face. "Baby, I'm sorry."

"G, pwede na ba akong maunang umuwi?" I asked.

She hugged me tight. "Sorry...hindi ko talaga alam na may tao. I won't subject you to something uncomfortable. Believe me, please. Baby... sorry na."

"Okay. Pero, pwede na ba akong mauna sa'yo? Kasi nahihiya ako sa Daddy mo at pati na rin kay Shey..."

"Baby, hindi ka naman nila nakita, eh. The room was dark because I lowered the blinds—"

"You do not get it, do you?" I asked finally looking at her. "Nakita man nila ako o hindi, madilim man o maliwanag ay alam nila na ako ang kasama mo rito. We are inside your office, Gio, and we were making out as if we're in some cheap motel."

"It is my fault. Narinig naman siguro nila na ako ang nagpumilit—"

"Pero, bumigay ako—"

"At anong masama d'un? Mahal mo ako at mahal kita. And whatever we do when we're alone is none of anyone's business—shit..." She took deep breaths as if she was trying to calm herself. "Sorry, okay? Alam kong nakakahiya. Ako man ay nahihiya rin kaya naiintindihan kita. Pero, kung pag-aawayan natin itong libog na meron ako para sa'yo at itong tindi ng pagmamahal na nararamdaman ko para sa'yo ay hindi talaga tayo matatapos. Oo, nalilibugan ako sa'yo. Nakakatawa, nakakainis, at hindi ko maintindihan. The first time I felt it, I was so caught off guard that I didn't know what it was."

"What the fuck, Gio, talagang libog na ang pinag-uusapan natin—?"

"No, listen to me. Please...please..."

She sighed. "Mahal kita in the purest sense of those words – I want to protect you, I want to keep you safe, and I am even willing to die for you. Do you know when I realized that I am really in love with you? It was that night I saw you naked."

I scowled. "You better have an excellent explanation for that bullshit, Gio Ortega."

She laughed softly. "Don't worry, meron..."

She touched my cheek. "Leslie called me that night. She said she wanted to talk to me about us. Nag-away raw sila ni Denmark and she needs me. She said she was sorry. She asked that I give her another chance. She said she would wait for me at the deli and out of nowhere I said, sa tingin mo magugustuhan ni Moira 'yung Danish croissant na breakfast special ng deli every Monday? It's one of my favorites at hindi pa 'yun natitikman ng Baby ko."

She laughed. "Leslie hang up on me after calling me immature and I went out of my bedroom to stare at you while you slept."

"Shit, Gio, h'wag mo na akong bolahin, hulog na hulog na nga ako sa'yo, eh, hindi na ako makakaahon nito."

"H'wag ka nang umahon, d'yan ka lang, please. Sasamahan kita kung nasaan ka kasi mahal na mahal kita. Hindi ka nag-iisa d'yan sa nararamdaman mo. I might have gotten over Leslie sooner than I realized but you gave me another kind of heartache when you repeatedly rejected me over the phone."

"Paano ko naging kasalanan 'yun?"

"Ang tindi mo kasing mang-friendzone," she said. "Poporma pa lang ako, supalpal na ako kaagad sa'yo. And maybe it was easier for me to pretend that I was still heartbroken over my ex than face the fact that you do not want me. And that the possibility of you ever falling for me was nil."

She wiped my tears with the pad of her thumb because I couldn't seem to stop crying. "But, the other side of that feeling is my insatiable want for you – matindi ito, nakakabaliw at ngayon ko lang naramdaman."