Spencer Reid imagines.

Heart broken.

Spencer felt so bad, he didn't mean to go this far. but the attention he was receiving from such a beautiful woman excited him.
Lila Archer was one of the victims of the previous case they resolved, Spencer was supposed to look after her,nothing more. but he failed at that one simple task.

Your relationship was going through a rough path lately. It was like you were drifting apart without knowing, or maybe you did. But you were to scared to do something about it.
After talking to the officers and the victims family, you, along with the team, went back to Lila's house to check up on her and Spencer.
On the ride there you thought about your relationship and you finally decided to talk to him about it. You didn't mean to push him away and you missed him.

Everyone got out of the car and entered the house, you heard noise on the garden so you all headed there.
As you were approaching the door, you heard Morgan's voice "Oh, shit".

Confused, you looked over the pool only to find Spencer and Lila in it....kissing. As soon as they heard Derek, they pulled away from each other.
Spencer looked at you with wide eyes. His mouth opened, but no words came out.

You felt your eyes burn, so you turned around and entered the house again followed by Hotch and Emily.
Everyone else watched the three of you go.
"shit, shit, shit" Derek kept repeating.

Spencer stood there, frozen. and then it clicked. He jumped out of the pool ready to go after you and beg you to forgive him but JJ stopped him.

"No." she looked at him sternly. "just...no."

Spencer looked between her and Derek. "I..i need to go with her i..." Derek cut him off. "Right now it's not the time kid. Everyone's upset and we're still on the case."

Spencer's felt helpless, he couldn't wait. he needed to tell you that it was a mistake, that it didn't mean anything. That he was sorry.

You went back to the car, Emily and Hotch getting in with you.

"So, what's next? are we going to the hotel now or..?" you asked, not looking at them.

"(Y/N)...you know you can.." you cut off Emily.

"Don't. it never happened" You said. You didn't want to talk about it, you just wanted to pretend it didn't happen at least until you solved the case. You knew it was bound to happen, the break up. Not like that, but you just...knew.

Everyone dropped the subject, knowing that if they pressured you, it was going to end badly. Specially with Spencer trying to get you alone so you both could talk about what happened.

A few days later, you found the unsub. The guy was known for stalking and killing girls he liked just for the 'fun' of it. He created a page to tell all of his sick plans and fantasies and after reading his last submits, you were able to prove it was him.

Even if you felt relieved, you were still nervous to go back. You knew you couldn't avoid talking to Spencer about what happened anymore, there was no excuse now. But you still just wanted to pretend everything was fine with you. That your heart was intact, that the pain in your chest was only soreness or a broken bone. Anything to avoid the fact that you were broken.

On the flight back you tried your hardest to avoid Spencer, but the world was not on your side that day.
He sat next to you, looking at you expectantly.

"(Y/N)...w-we need to talk about this" he whispered, his hand reaching out for yours but as soon as they touched, you flinched away.

You didn't look at him, but you knew his eyes were full of hurt, and somehow, that didn't make you feel better.

"I don't have anything to say to you." You simply said, trying your best to look unbothered.

"well i do. i...what happened with Lila, it was nothing. i-i mean it was something but i didn't mean it." he sighed. "i know i messed up, but i..i don't know how to make it better."

"Then don't. don't try to make it better, cause you can't". You didn't look up, you knew you were going to give in if you looked at him.

His shoulders fell down and he sighed. it was like something had hit him in the very center of his chest.

For the next weeks you closed yourself completely, not letting anyone know how you were really feeling. it's what you did best. And for the next few weeks, Spencer wondered how in the world did he managed to screw everything up in one night.

The ache on his skin and his heart to touch you was almost unbearable. The only thing he wanted to do was go back to that day and change everything.

But he couldn't, and he knew it. He still couldn't understand what had happened that night. You told him at the beginning of your relationship how scared you were. How your brain tricked you into thinking that no one ever wanted to fall in love with you. How you ran away when things are good.

But you changed, you fight back those thoughts for him and now he was the one left in the dark.

And it was all his fault.
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well hello! i know i've been away so long but you know how this is. school, inspiration, etc.
I promise i'll try my best to update constantly🙏🏻 thank you for keep reading my work and yeah! i love you🌿