Spencer Reid imagines.

Ever again (mess part 2)

(Spencer's POV)

I woke up by the sound of someone coughing and it took me a minute to remember where i was. My head snapped up to see (Y/N) trying to reach the glass of water oh the bedside table.
I reached for it and gave it to her.

"how do you feel?" i softly asked her.

"i'm fine" she said. her eyes never leaving the bed.

I desperately wanted her to look at me. I spent two years without seeing her eyes, missing the warm feeling in my chest when she looked at me, the way she used to smile whenever she saw me. i missed her. i missed us.

"I'm sorry, this is my fault. You're like that because i made the biggest mistake of my life by letting you go. letting us go." i said as i tried to hold back the tears in my eyes. "i'm sorry i wasn't strong enough back then, but i am now. and, if you let me, i wanna make it up to you, because i love you, i never stopped loving you."

She didn't say anything. She didn't look at me and smiled, telling me she loved me too. And it finally made sense. In that moment i understood why people feared silence. i felt the way she did when i walked away.
But i knew i brought it on myself, if i didn't say those things, if i only stopped her from leaving when i had the chance, we wouldn't be here.

I sighed and stood up, finally ready to go. i walked over  to the door until i heard her.

"so you're just going to walk away, again?" she asked. i turned around and looked at her.

"i-i uh..i thought-"

"I just wanna know why. i can't forgive you if i don't understand why did you leave" she said. "i think you, at least, owe me that"

She looked so sad and my heart broke because i knew it was my fault. i was the one who put all the confusion and the hurt in her eyes. And mine.

"i didn't want to hold you back. i thought i was keeping you from doing what you love the most a-and i couldn't do that to you." i kept my eyes on the floor. we stayed in silence until she spoke up.

"it's you" she said.

"huh? what?" i asked, confused.

"You are the thing i love the most" she sighed.

wait what? my head snapped in her direction. did she say..'love'?

"Love? you-you still love me?" i made my way to her bed, taking her hand on mine.

She looked away, a tint of pink spreading on her cheeks. "Tell me...tell me you still love me and i swear, i'll never let you go. ever again. just please say it" i begged. her silence was killing me, i wanted to bad to get her back that it didn't matter if she didn't love me anymore, i didn't care if she wanted to be just friends. the only thing i wanted it was to have her back in my life. "i know i should've realize that before and now is probably too late but i'm selfish, and i won't give up on you again"

"i do..."she said looking at me. "i love you, i never stopped"

as soon as the words left her mouth i kissed her. and i felt it, that feeling that was missing for two years. her lips caressing mine and making my heart ache in the best of ways.

"i love you".

I knew, right in that moment, that i belonged there, in her arms. and i never wanted to be anywhere else. Ever again.

(3rd person's POV)

They laid in the hospital bed, both immersed in their own thoughts.
(Y/N) thought about the last 2 years, how horrible they'd been without Spencer, and she realized she didn't want to go through that again.

An idea popped up in her head. No. No, that was crazy. Wasn't it?.
She looked up at him, wondering if he'd  even consider the idea.

"Hey...i was thinking in Vegas" she said playing with the buttons of his shirt.

Spencer looked at her confused. "Yeah? what about it?" he frowned.

"what if we go for a night?"

"for what?" he asked, even more confused.

"Marry me." she whispered, looking up at him.

He smiled widely. "when?"

i shrugged. "we can take a flight tomorrow, i don't have anything else to do. do you?"

"i don't. so we're going to Vegas" he said, picking up his phone.

After he ordered the tickets he hung up and put his phone in the bedside table.

"You just asked me to marry you. You know this is real, right?" he said, dragging his hands trough my hair.

"i know"

"You're going to marry me tomorrow?"

"mhmm"

"are you serious" he said, smiling so big his cheeks hurt.

"Yes"

"GOD! I LOVE YOU!" he grabbed her face and kissed her multiple times. "the ring..."

She pulled away. "we'll take care of that later, i took you completely by surprise"

"um..." he looked away.

"what?" she said, tensing up.

"okay, don't freak out" he said, squirming nervously. "but i already took care of that part"

"what part?" she said, raising her head to see his face properly.

He looked up at the ceiling and sighed. "you're gonna freak out"

"Spence.."

She frowned when he got up and shuffle trough his bag. When he found what he was looking for he laid down on the bed again and put a small box on his chest, waiting for her reaction.

"what is this?" she asked him, her heart racing.

"why don't you open it?" he took a deep breath.

She took the box from his chest, feeling the soft material on her fingers. she opened the lid slowly, until a flash got her attention and she closed the box again.

"Spencer!" she screamed. "are you crazy?"

"i told you, you'd freak out!" he laughed, putting his hands on hers. " but i had to. this is the ring, i've never seen one like this"

"my god, its...impressing" she whispered as he took her left hand.

"can i put it on your finger?" he asked, looking up at her.

When she nodded he slipped the ring at the end of her finger and kissed her hand.

"Now it's impressing" he said, smiling.