Spencer Reid imagines.

Over again.

It's been a year since he last saw her, on his wedding day. And it was tough, cause he loved her, after all.

And now here he is, watching the love of his life laugh and kiss her boyfriend. She never did that with him, never showed affection, especially in public. But that was his fault too.

He's not ugly, of course, he's tall and tan, with bright brown eyes and brown hair.
A beer is shoved in his hand and he looks up, watching the bartender wink at him before he stares at the happy couple again.

She turns her head for a moment, catching his eyes, and her smile slowly fades away.  She whispers something to her boyfriend and he nods, leaving a chaste kiss on her lips.
They leave a couple bills on the table and head to the exit, (Y/N) doesn't give him a second glance as they leave.

He doesn't know how long he's been there, but his sight is foggy and he can't understand how he managed to drown so many shots without puking his guts out.

He orders another beer but the guy just shakes his head. "I'm cutting you out, man" he says, smiling apologetically at him.

Spencer scoffs at him and finishes his drink, ready to leave.
He manages to stay up when the night wind hits him, making him more dizzy.

After walking for a while, he finds himself in front of (Y/N)'s house. He doesn't know why, but blames the alcohol and the fact that (Y/N) is his.

He knocks and a few seconds later a sleepy (Y/N) opens the door, looking as beautiful as ever.

"Spence?.." she says stepping out. "why are you here?"

"i'm sorry...i shouldn't-i should-" he stumbles over his words, cupping her face in his hands.

(Y/N) grabs at his wrists gently. "you're drunk..." she grins. "you were always such a lightweight"

"i drink a little too much" he slurred. "i had to see you, i-"

"Babe? who is it?"

(Y/N) immediately steps back. Trevor appearing behind her and sliding an arm around her waist.
He's shirtless, and Spencer grits his teeth when he sees the hickeys on his neck.

"Babe? seriously?" he sneers, looking at him. "could you be more of a pussy?"

That shocks both (Y/N) and himself as he'd never been fond on cursing.

"well, i fucked her into the mattress last night so i wouldn't say that"

Spencer steps forward but before he can do anything, (Y/N) puts a hand on his chest.

"Hey, no" she pushes him back. "Lets get you home, alright?"

"He's a big boy, he can make it on his own"

(Y/N) rolls her eyes at Trevor. "Was i fucking talking to you?" she turns to Spencer again "just let me grab a coat and i'll walk you home alright?"

Spencer nods and she lets go off him, disappearing inside the house.

"It's not gonna happen again. you know that, right?" Trevor crosses his arms. "She might not love me, but she's done with you"

"You don't know anything"

"I know she deserves better than a little loser like you"

(Y/N) pushes him into the wall. "You better watch your fucking mouth, you hear me?"

Trevor laughs. "He turns up in the middle of the night  and I've gotta watch what i say?"

"hey, the doors wide open for you to fuck off if you got a problem" she sasses him and sits to put on her shoes.

Trevor mutter something she can't quite hear and before she can ask him, Spencer is throwing himself at him, punching him everywhere he can.

(Y/N) quickly shoves Spencer out of Trevor. "You don't listen for shit, man"

"that...crazy fucker-"

"shut the fuck up" she cuts him off. "go inside, we'll talk when i get here"

She turns to Spencer, who's still in the floor. His hands shaking and he's still glaring at Trevor.

"Come on, tough guy" she pulls him up. "lets get you home"

Spencer tries to say something but the words get caught in his throat when he realizes how close they are.

He leans in a little bit, but (Y/N) pushes him back and Spencer knows, he knows how much he fucked up  with her. "walk, Reid. it's pass your bed time"

They get to Spencer's front door and he feels a bit more sober now, although his head is starting to throb.

"alright, we're here. i'll see you around, yeah?" she says softly.

"i don't know, might need help getting inside, maybe in bed too"

(Y/N) smirks cause she know he's lying, he can get inside by himself but, she wraps an arm around his waist and helps him get inside anyway.

"i'm leaving you on the couch, but that's it"

She keeps him balanced and when they reach the couch, he lays down, looking up at her. (Y/N) takes his shoes off and covers him with a blanket.

She turns around but a hand on her wrist stops her.

"stay.." Spencer pleads, grasping tightly at her hand. "please?"

"i can't do this again, Spence. You know i can't." she whispers, sitting beside him.

Spencer's heart drops, cause he knows what she means, she can't be with him again, she can't get hurt again by him.

"i know i messed up, but.." he sniffs, sitting up. "i got my shit together now, i swear i'll never hurt you again, please." he grabs both of her hands. he can't let her leave. he can't let her go back to him.

"just let me..." Spencer leans in slowly, stopping just inches away from her lips, waiting.

Her eyes are closed, and her hands are slightly shaking. this is wrong, she thinks. she should just leave him here and go home, to Trevor, but she can't pull away, she doesn't want to.

"Fuck it" she mutters before claiming Spencer lips.

The kiss is not gentle, it's messy, raw and full of emotion. It's a 'fuck you for leaving' and 'i missed you' kind of kiss.

They pull apart and lay there in silence, both trying to catch their breaths and enjoying being there, together after all this time.

And Spencer's never been so in love.

heyyy guys, so i hope you like this, i think i went in the zone with this one and came out longer than i expected. oops.
thank you for being so patient about my posting

i love you.

Nat🌱