Let Me Go

Chapter 10

I kept my distance from Luke while we were at the hospital. After Mrs. and Mr. Cummings came back from seeing Austin they came over to me. 

"He's asking for you. After they brought him back, you were the first one he asked for. Go on Paige." Mrs. Cummings said. I nodded and took a deep breath.

"You'll be alright dear." She reassured me before I went back to see Austin. I thought about what Luke and I had put him through right before this all and felt awful walking through that hospital room door.

Despite it all though, Austin smiled when he saw me. He was all bandaged up gave me that little, cute smile he always had, letting me know he was alright. He put out his hand and I stood there beside his bed, holding it. He pulled it up to his mouth very slow and gentle because his arm was wrapped and he kissed it.

I closed my eyes and was trying to blink back the tears.

 "I wish we could've talked..." He whispered. I nodded looking up at him.

 "I'm here now, that's all that matters." I whispered. 

He nodded. "I always promised I would be strong for you." He said, squeezing my hand he still held.

"You are strong." I said, rubbing my thumb over his knuckles. 

He motioned his hand down toward his head and then pointed to his cheek.

 "What?" I asked confused. 

"Can you kiss me?" Austin asked with a cute little smile. 

"Yes." I said before a giggle. Then I kissed his cheek where he was pointing for me to kiss at before.

Before I pulled away from kissing his cheek Austin put his finger under my chin and tilted it to his lips. He kissed me so patiently and intent. It felt like we never broke up.

"Austin... I don't know..." I whispered pulling away from him, after just calling it quits with Luke, I couldn't do this back and forth nonsense. 

"I don't know where I stand anymore. I feel horrible." I said.

 "Paige, its easy... You know who you should be with." Austin said.

 "Austin, you almost left when you found out I was pregnant." I sighed.

"Yeah, and I came back and apologized. Paige, is that what this is about? And Luke? You two hated each others guts. What the hell happened there?" He asked. 

"Austin I..." I began to say. I felt my eyes becoming watery. 

"No, you listen to me. I loved you. God Paige I still do. What? When I left you just lost everything you felt for me and started having... sex with my best friend?" Austin yelled.

"It's not like that... And I can't believe you would even think that." I said.

"What? It's obvious Paige. You don't think that that's what everyone out in the waiting room thinks about you?" Austin said.

"I'm glad you're okay and I hope you feel better soon. I know what I did hurts, but that doesn't mean you need to act like an ass. And no okay Austin... I haven't had sex with Luke, we just started seeing each other. So you can tell everyone else that if that's what they think of me." I said before leaving his room.

Later...

I felt confused and alone. I sat on my bed and watched the snow fall outside my window. Not only did I hate how I was feeling right now, but I hated the snowy weather. I was more of a summer girl. I heard a knock at my bedroom door. I sighed. 

"Come in." Then I heard my mother voice.

"How did it go seeing Austin?" She asked, standing at my door.

 "Awful, of course. He got mad at me. Oh, and I ended things with Lucas." I said before taking a sip of my hot chocolate.

"Well honey. I don't mean to sound rude but I never thought that you and Lucas together mixed." Mom said. 

"Why did you say anything?" I asked. Mom shrugged.

 "If it was what you wanted then I wasn't going to stop you. I just think you should try talking to Austin again." Mom said.

I shook my head. "No mom he hates me." I replied.

 "Paige, he's just hurt." Mom said. I sighed. 

"Well, he is in the hospital so it is pretty hard to talk to him." I replied. 

"I can take you there even, Paige. I'd like to say hello to him. I sort of miss him coming around here."

My mom replied before leaving my room. She left me with thoughts of him always coming over here now like he used to. We had so many memories together. I did miss Austin. I honestly don't miss Luke now though. That's a relief.

My mom came back up to my room. "You have a phone call." She said, handing me the chord less phone. 

"Hello?" I asked, wondering who it might be.

"Paige, I just wanted to apologize." I heard the voice speak up.

 "Forget it. It doesn't matter." I replied. 

"It does. I can't keep treating you horribly and expecting you..." Austin said.

 "Expect me to what?" I asked, confused.

 "Forget it. It doesn't matter." He said. 

"It does to me. Lemme guess expect me to sleep with you since that's what everyone thinks I do?" I asked.

"No Paige. Come back to me? Give me another chance maybe. I didn't mean what I said earlier." He said, his voice sounding needy. 

He was pleading for me. His deep, tough voice sounded hurt and wanted. 

"I still love you. My dad is sitting right across this hospital room and he can even tell you that I still love you. I would call home all the time from campus and ask if they had heard from you or seen you. I missed you so much while I was gone away. Knowing that you're not mine...that makes it even more harder for me. I can't move on. You've been in all my thoughts and I feel like I can finally tell you this because I think you might just happen to miss me too, Paige. Please come see me in the hospital tomorrow? Or tonight?" He suggested.

I smiled at the thought of holding his hand again. "I'll surprise you." I replied, my heart getting filled with butterflies.

 "Okay, Baby. Well I am going to talk to my dad. I can't wait to see you again. I feel so much better in this room with you here." Austin replied. His cheeks were getting a little pink because he knew his dad was listening.

"I can't wait to see you either. I love holding your hand. That's what I've missed most." I admitted.

"I've missed that too." Austin said. Then there was a long pause as we both just smiled into our phones. "I love you, Paige." Austin said, giving me those crazy butterflies again.

"I love you too, Aust." I said, meaning every word of it. 

Then we said bye before we hung up. It felt good to know we still loved each other so much. It was probably even more than we did before the car accident. I guess the saying is true. Some times two people have to fall apart to realize that they are so much better together.

Even later...

It was 9 pm and I wanted to go see the one I loved. He needed me there. I was off to go see Austin and nothing would stop me. My parents were locked away in their room, so I left a note on the fridge that I would be driving out to see him. I was also happy the roads were pretty clear of snow.

So before driving out I brushed my teeth again, popped in a breath mint, put on a little perfume and lotion and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked good in my black leggings and long winter coat. That was all Austin would be seeing anyway.