Finding My Way

Chapter 10

I wanna go back to when I was young
Playing in the day time, soundly sleeping by night
Oh wait, or was I up all night listening to my parents fight?
Sister gone, parents having a fit
Nah, nah, I never want to go back to that shit
But I don't want this
Betrayal, lies, hate
When will I catch a break?
Don't know who to fuck with
Hard to tell what's real
Don't know how to feel
So how do I deal?
I act out in violence
Now I'm just surrounded by black silence

"OH GOD, I CAN'T SEE! SOMEBODY HELP ME PLEASE!"

Not only could I not see, but I heard laugher in the background. What in the actual fuck?! Am- Am I dreaming or something?

"Mrs.Hayes calm down."

A heavy set lady wearing dark blue scrubs pulled the cover off of my face. Damn I truly thought something was wrong with my eyes. It's just dark in here.

"Mrs.Hayes, could you please tell me your full name?" She smiled at me as she put an IV bag on the IV stand beside my bed.

Shit, I guess that would explain why my elbow crease has tape on it and a small tube coming out of it.

"Mrs.Hayes?"

"I am Adrianna Giselle Mangham."

"Mangham?"

"Did I muthafuckin' st- stu- stutter?!"

"It's alright Nurse Williams." I heard Raheem say. "That's her maiden name."

She looked at him. "Oh, very well." She then looked back down at me. "You do know that you're married though, right?"

"Yup."

"Could you tell me your birthday?"

"Yeah, I could."

When I didn't continue, she looked at me oddly.

"You asked me could I, you didn't ask me to actually tell you. But if you actually want to know, it's October 28."

"Mrs.Ha-"

"Either you call me Adrianna or your ass will get straight up ignored."

I could clearly see that she was getting annoyed, but I clearly don't give any type of fuck. I want her to say something out the way to me, I'd be sure to cuss her slap ass out. I'm the one who should be and actually is annoyed. Every part of my body hurts. When I say every part, I mean every part. Even my eyelashes and eyebrows.

"I am just trying to make sure you don't have memory loss. Do you-"

"I'm on an uncomfortable ass,bed, I feel like shit, You are wearing scrubs, I am not deaf, I hear the damn beeping. I am well aware that I'm in a hospital lady. I just don't know why."

"What's the last thing you remember before waking up this evening?"

Oh I wish she would leave me the fuck alone! I know she doin' her job and shit, but I don't wanna play twenty one questions. Fuck all that. The last thing I can vividly remember is Malcolm and I fighting. I remember gettin' a few licks in. My ass had to be mad as fuck to get into an actual fist fight with that maniac. It's just fucked up. I been betrayed man. The dude sitting in this room with me has been betrayed. Shit he probably don't even know it though.

"Adrianna, I promise that this is a safe environment. You are free to tell me whatever you need to tell me."

She put her hand on my arm. Geez, now I feel kinda sorta bad about going off on her. Nurses really do have to have a lot of patience to put up with patients like me. If this was vice versa, I know I wouldn't want a patient to be cursing at me. I don't need to be so rude. She ain't done shit to me. She's just trying to help my pathetic, pitiful ass out.

"I'm sorry, I'm trying to recall the events leading up to now but I can't vividly remember them."

She went on to tell me the bullshit story Malcolm made up. He said we were having a heated argument in the hall and I was by the stairs when we were doing so. He then said that I stepped back and went tumbling down the stairs.

How did I not break my fucking neck though?

"Does that sound accurate Adrianna? You just fell, you weren't pushed? This is important because you can press charges against him if he pushed you down the stairs. You are extremely lucky to be just banged up a bit, you could have died if you landed the wrong way."

Malcolm wouldn't have pushed me down no damn stairs. He would have picked me up and threw me down them muthafuckas.

"Oh!" I slightly smiled and shook my head. "That's so embarrassing. I had to have fell down on my own though. I have to be like the most clumsy person ever. That sounds like something I'd do."

"Why does your face have a fading bruise on it?"

"Like I said, I am clumsy. I burn myself with my flatiron, I run into doors, I scratch my face while I'm asleep. Just different things. There's no telling how I did that. I know I need to be more careful."

She asked me a few more questions then finished checking me then she left the room.

I sure do hope I don't get questioned by a police or anything. I'm tired of talking about this big ass mess I'm in. It's a sad sad day when a person is actually happier that they are laid out in a hospital rather than being at home with their spouse.

Raheem stood up, causing me to let out a small gasp. He doesn't really look... right. I know that sounds bad, but his color looks flushed... or something. He just... he doesn't look right!

"Lying gets you no where."

I laughed. "Look at you quoting Grammy."

"That's not a quote Adrianna, that's a fact. Who in the hell would stop in front of some stairs and start arguing with someone? I swear that shit doesn't even sound right. How long has that man been pu-"

"Why are you here Raheem? Who told you I was here?"

I'm sure it seems like I asked him that to interrupt what he was saying, but I really want to know.

"I am here because I care about you Adrianna. No one told me. I... I... The other day I was in the emergency room when that punk muthafucka brought you in. Why do you l-"

"Are you okay, why were you in the emergency room Raheem?"

"Adrianna don't worry about that. Y-"

"No! I want to know Raheem. Just tell me."

He sat beside me with his head hung low.

I don't know why I pressured him into telling me, because I wasn't ready for what he had to tell me.