Finding My Way

Chapter 11

"...So yeah it would be nice if you just take this bag of makeup so you can put it on. I could do it for you if you want me to. I just need to get some shots of yo-"

"Shut... The... Fuck... Up!"

I raked my hands through my messed up braid then I knocked the bag of makeup out of her hand. She has been going on and on about her fucking makeup. She's basically saying that I look a damn mess and she wants to see just how good her makeup is. I've had time to wash myself, brush my teeth, and brush my hair. She just keeps going on and on about her bullshit.

"I am your mother and you do not talk to me like that. It's already bad enough that you're the reason why the Hayes' are being investigated. Well really Malcolm, but still. Do you know what that'll do to their image if this gets out?"

"I DON'T GIVE NOT EVEN A TEENY WEENY FUCK ABOUT WHAT IT WILL DO TO THEIR MUTHAFUCKIN' IMAGE! MALCOLM IS A LOW DOWN STUPID MUTHAFUCKA! I HATE HIM!"

"You are just ungr-"

I stood up to get in her face, not even worried about the fact that I tugged the shit out of my IV. It hurts, but that pain just blends end with the rest of my body.

"Do not call me that. You are the ungrateful one, Marcille. Dad wasn't the best man, but guess what, he did as good as he could when it came to our finances. That man has a ninth grade education, you know there weren't many job options out there for him. He did all he could to provide for us. Yeah I remember wanting loads of shit but I do recall being content with what we fuckin' had! See, but this is what it boils down to, parts of my life is repeated history from your past. Malcolm hurts me. Malcolm forces me to have sex with him. Malcolm has even forced me to have sex with another bitch. Let me tell you this though, he can have my body, but he will NEVER be able to take over my soul. Not him or you. Nobody can."

Her hand swept across my face.

I smirked. "Oh, that's funny." I put my hand on my face. "Like an abusive man, you said you wouldn't hit me anymore. Remember that? You should, it was only a few weeks ago!"

"You are the one that's messing up this opportunity! All you have to do is be a good wife to Malcolm! It's not that hard to be a good wife."

"BUT FOR HOW DAMN LONG MOM?! Until he fucking kills me like he almost did three days ago?!" I sat on the bed rubbing my face, she literally makes me sick. "I can't keep living like this, I just can't. There are more important things in life. Life is... it's too short."

Saying that made me think about my heartfelt conversation with Raheem the other night. He broke my heart. He's been sick for a few years. I would have never known. He wasn't even aware of it back in school, he found out a few months ago. Twenty years old?! He's too young to die! And he's a good person. He's a great dad. I hope Layla doesn't have to grow up without him. He kept trying to tell me that he can still live a long time, but that doesn't make me worry less.

I really wish I knew why awful things happen to good people.

"Stop all that damn crying!" She grabbed me by my arms and pulled me to her, much like Malcolm would do. "Don't tell me shit about my past. You just worry about your present. You just worry about staying with that muthafuckin' man so I can make it to the gotdamn top. You don't have a choice in the motherfucking matter you little bitch. You are going to do what I s-"

She let me go and pushed me on the bed quick as hell when someone knocked on the door. They didn't come in right away so it has to be a visitor. If it's Malcolm I might just skydive out the gotdamn window. I can't deal with both of them at the same damn time. They are both full of shit and I can't stand either of them.

She picked up the makeup bag and threw it at me. I threw the shit on the floor. This time she picked it up then put it on the table beside the bed.

"Come in!" She said with a smile on her face. Fake bitch. Mother or not, I'm beginning to hate her ass. She is so damn evil. Her and Malcolm would be a perfect match. She wants somebody to be with him, shit she should do it!

In comes Tiffany holding a teddy bear in one hand and a vase of white roses in the other.

"Dri Babe, what's wrong?" She sat the bear and flowers on the table beside the bed then she sat beside me. Her hand gently touched mine.

"I'm gonna give you girls some alone time. I have some things that I could be doing anyway. I'll see you girls a little later."

"Okay bye Ms.Marcille."

I didn't say shit as she walked out the room.

"So what has you so upset Adrianna?" She grabbed a few tissues out the Kleenex box beside the bed then gave them to me.

"Tiff... I'm upset because someone told me something about them that isn't good at all. I shouldn't tell their business so I can't tell you who or what it is though." I rubbed my face and cleared my throat. "What are you doing here though? Shouldn't you be down in Florida?"

She lightly rubbed me on my back, which actually felt comforting.

"Lelanie told Quianna and I what happened. We just got out here not too long ago. Quianna went to Lelanie while I came to you. Her side of the story doesn't sound right. I didn't even know she was like that."

"What did she say happened?"

"She was saying how she met some guy one day at the mall and how they hit it off or whatever. They went on a few dates or whatever and she really liked him. That all changed when she found him on instagram in a picture with you kissing you and stuff. She said she didn't want to confront you about it because you seemed happy. I don't know about Quianna, but I really didn't know about any of that. But see, that's just messed up though. She was basically contradicting herself. That has to mean that they kept in touch after she figured him out, she saw that you were 'happy' with him though. What supposed 'bestie' does shit like that? Yeah he played you both, but she should have backed down when he clearly and publicly chose you. That shit is straight disloyal."

She hit the nail on the muthafuckin' head with those last few sentences! I have no more use for Lelanie, and Quianna 'bout to be on my shit list too. Now I feel like the only two legit friends I've ever had in my entire life are Tiffany and Raheem. Oh, Raheem.

"So what are you going to do now?"

There's a simple answer to that. I am going to keep on putting up with this bullshit. What choice do I have? I have no money of my own, I have nothing on my own. I talked all of that shit about leaving him earlier, but it's obvious that I'm stuck.