Behind Closed Doors

Chapter 8

“Hello is anyone home?” A familiar voice called out. I didn’t want to answer because I wasn’t sure on who it was. So I stuffed the plastic bag into my bathroom cupboard and ran into my bedroom to put some pants on. I slid my pants carefully over the Band-Aids to make sure they didn’t come off and that I didn’t put unnecessary pressure on them because it hurt like hell.

“Hello? Is anyone home?” The same familiar voice said. Ugh why can’t I remember who owns that voice? It’s so familiar but so unfamiliar at the same time. 

“Hello? I’m home, early.” Wait a second. That’s Dad. Oh my god he actually came home and his early! I can’t believe it. 

In my excitement I ran down the stair screaming his name. When I saw him he had the biggest smile on his face, I think he was glad to see me. I ran over to him and jumped up hoping he would catch me, luckily he did. 

“You’re home. You’re actually home!” I screeched hugging him tighter than I ever have before.

“Yes I am sweet pee, but why are you? It’s a school day, you should be at school. Shouldn’t you?” Dad asked me in a concerned tone.

“Well yes but something happened this morning you see. So they had to send everyone home.” I explained.

“What happened? Is everyone okay? Are you okay sweet pee?” He asked in a very concerned tone now.

“Yes Dad I’m fine but Drew’s brother Gabe isn’t.” I paused before continuing “He killed himself this morning by jumping off one of the buildings.” 

“Drew as in your boyfriend?” Dad asked.

“Yeah my boyfriend” I said without even thinking. Drew isn’t my boyfriend anymore. He dumped me because I’m a loser. I’m surprised he actually stayed with me for this long.

I looked at Dad and he looked really worried. “Don’t worry Dad I barely even knew him. I’m not that upset. I’m just more worried for Drew. He just lost his brother.” I lied.

Dad smiled at me and said okay just talk to me if you need anything. Then he ran out to his car and yelled out for me to come and help him bring his bags in. I ran out to help and then went to my room. 

…..

I’ve been sitting in my room for about three hours now. Dad said he had to catch up with some mates and won’t be back until dinner. So I’m all alone. Again. I pulled my pants down and looked at the Band-Aids. They were already filled with blood. You could see it coming out of the sides now. I guess I need to get some new ones. I walked into my bathroom and opened my draw again to pull out the Band-Aid box. I pulled out two new Band-Aids and had a look to see how many I have left. Great. I only have one left. I hope these don’t bleed too much more. I don’t have enough Band-Aids if they do. 

I pulled off my Band-Aids one at a time. “FUCK!!” I screamed out in pain. I didn’t realise it would hurt so much to take the bloody things off but then again what do you expect? I fucking sliced my skin with a razor. I held my breath as I took the other Band-Aid off. I winced from the pain but didn’t scream out loud again. Which I guess is a good thing, don’t want the neighbours to hear. I picked up one of the two Band-Aids I had pulled out of the box and peeled the protective wrapper off. I carefully placed it over one of the cuts on my leg. Oh my god it hurt so fucking much why did I do it? Oh that’s right it felt good. I picked up the other Band-Aid I got out of the box and peeled the protective wrapping off and placed it on my other cut. Once I was sure the Band-Aids wouldn’t come off I pulled my pants up and decided to go down stairs.

When I was at the top of the stairs I saw the door open and Declan and Mum walk in. Declan did his us=ual thing and dropped his bag and headed straight for the kitchen, typical. Mum on the other hand put down her hand bag and walked up the stairs towards me. Before I could say hi she wrapped her arms around me and squeezed me tightly. She was hugging me. Mum never hugged me. I returned the hug by wrapping my arms around her tightly being carefully of my leg. 

After about a minute she let go and told me she had to go make dinner and if I needed to talk to her I could. I told her I was fine and barely even knew the kid. I didn’t mention anything about Drew because it’s none of her business. 

Mum walked down the stairs and headed towards the kitchen . “What are we having for dinner Mum?” I called out after her.

“Nothing special, just a lamb casserole” Mum yelled back.

Ewww. I hate lamb casserole. It’s so fatty. I guess I will just have to pretend to eat it and go hungry. Again. Not that I really CARE. It makes me lose weight and that’s what I need because I’m made up of nothing but fat. I will just skip dinner. That way I don’t have to eat it and throw it back up. I could say I’m not feeling well and then eat it in my room and when no one is watching me I will throw it out or flush it down the toilet. 

With that figured out I walked back to my room so I could listen to my music to pass the time.