Behind Closed Doors

Chapter 15

"Hello Rebecca, my name is James Spent but you can call me James. I'm one of the counsellors for the hospital. How are you?" James who was a tall dark haired man in his mid-thirties said.

"Hi, I'm umm okay" I lied. I wasn't okay. I was nowhere near okay. How the fuck can I be okay when I'm in a fucking hospital from an accidental over-dose but everyone thinks I tried to fucking kill myself!?

"Okay that's good. Is there anything you want to talk about today?" James asked.

Is there anything I want to talk about? Hmm let me think...NO! Why the fuck would I want to talk to a stranger about what is going on in my life? He wouldn't understand. No one understands. No one will ever understand, I'm too fucked up for that.

"Umm no nothing in particular" I lied, again.

"Okay, how about we talk about what is going on in your life?"

Okay, sure let's do that. Let's talk about how my life is. Hmmm let me think my bestfriend is possibly moving forever, my boyfriend's brother committed suicide the other day, my boyfriend dumped me, I cut myself, my boyfriend's brother gave me a letter asking me to tell his brother to go to Melbourne, my Mum hates me, my brother is a spoiled idiot and oh what else? I know I accidentally overdosed. "Okay" I said hesitantly.

"Great!" James replied with a smile forming across his face. "Where do you want to start?"

"I don't know' I said bluntly.

"Okay well let's start from yesterday. What happened? How were you feeling?" James asked me.

"I don't know. Fine I guess" I replied trying to give the least amount of information as possible.

James sighed, "Okay, did anything happen that was out of the ordinary?"

Out of the ordinary? Hmm I wonder...I don't think so...I normally take drugs and end up in hospital having everyone think I tried to off myself. That happens all the time!! What a stupid question. "No I normally do drugs and almost kill myself most weekends" I said sarcastically.

James didn't look too impressed but you couldn't blame me it was a stupid question which I gave a stupid answer to. After all I don't really want to be here...especially with him.

"I think that's enough for today, do you know how to get back to your room?" James asked sounding a bit pissed off.

YES!! Finally we're finished!! "Yeah, I do. I'm not stupid."

"Okay, I was just making sure. We made some good progress here today, I hope we can continue to do so. I'll see you again soon. Goodbye."

"Cya" I said quickly as I ran out of his room. It's about time. I don't like talking to people about how I feel. I don't trust anyone enough to talk to them about how I feel. Why is it that everyone always tries to be so nosey? Why can't people stay out of your business. It's not just James, it's everyone! No matter how hard you try to get them off your back they keep coming back for more. It's ridiculous!! I know it's a human instinct to find out about stuff but seriously there HAS to be a point where enough is enough!!

I turned down the corridor that lead in the opposite direction to my room. I don't care if I get caught I just want to get some fresh air and not be bombarded with questions. If I get caught I'll just lie and say I got lost, I'm pretty good at lying these days. The truth is I very rarely tell the actual truth. I have my reasons why I don't, I have many reasons why I don't, but the main one is that the truth has a great power behind it. A power that can do so much damage if it isn't used correctly. That's why I lie. I lie because I know that in my hands the truth is a deadly weapon. If I told the truth so many people would be hurt and I think some may be dead. It may seem stupid but it's what I believe. I just can't trust myself to do any good by telling the truth. That's why I lie so much, to protect myself and others from getting hurt. It's a good thing.

I turn left into a ward, I think it's the children's ward. I see lots of babies and toddlers. There are a few older kids but not many. It's decorated with lots of colours and looks much better than my ward. I continue to walk through the ward looking into the rooms as I go past. It's sad. These kids here haven't even lived for that long and some are really sick. It's not fair. How come this stuff happens to kids? Why can't all the people in jail that killed someone or hurt someone get these diseases? Why can't they be tortured with the pain. It's not fair that they can walk around healthy while there are innocent people who haven't done anything wrong that stuck in a hospital day in day out. Life is unfair. I think we should give all these horrible diseases to the people who have hurt someone else and let them suffer. They don't deserve to live a healthy, pain free life if they hurt someone else.

I'm almost at the end of the ward now and all I've seen in rooms a kids and their parents. Most of the kids are hooked up to some machine or are in a cast of some sort. I look to my right and stop. In the room there is a guy, he looks about my age. His in bed with his right arm in a cast that goes above his elbow. His cute. His really cute. He has dark brown hair that is short but not too short. He has hazel eyes that are just amazing and a perfectly formed face. I have a quick glance around, his by himself. Before I can stop myself I walk into the room. "Hi, I'm Becca."

"Hi, I'm Lewis."

A.N: I'm back from the dead!! So sorry my updates really suck now!! I've been a bit busy but also I went through a stage where I had no motivation to write!! But I am back!! I'll try and update within a month but no promises because you can never know what the future holds!! But I'm back!!! For now at least :) as always please vote and comment what you guys think :)

Ta Brooke :) (Boo-Boo)