As Of Now.

Breaking.

Misha_

"So what exactly are we supposed to be doing? How does this not fuck up the storyline? This season barely shows any Dean Cas affection whats so ever" I rant. Everyone seemed surprised, considering I was the one always connecting with fans about destiel, but it was only a joke and I wanted to interact and understand my fans, I wasn't gonna just blow them off, that would be a huge dick move and not to mention mere stupidity, without my fans who am I? "Listen, I know it's alarming, but this will pull in some major views to the show and we can use it, season 12 has been going fairly slow-" I cut him off "So what you're gonna just throw in destiel like some baby in a king cake" I say bewildered. "Im trying to progress here! Why are you guys being so difficult? Its not like you guys are gonna have sex or something!" He yells at me. "Ugh its not that! Its just this is not how the fans would want it, I read the script, its too straight to the point, you have to be subtle, ease it" I say calming down a bit, I understand he's frustrated and probably mortified, the shows fan base is declining at alarming rates. "I agree with Misha" Jensen says, I almost forgot he was in the room. "Well how about you guys fix it! If anyone knows the fans, you guys do, you know what they want, im gonna go out on a limb and let you guys direct this from here on out." He says standing and heading for the door, I rub my temples. "This could be good... or a great disaster." Jensen says. Jared steps up and places a hand on his shoulder. "I think you guys can handle it, I was so excited and amused by this I had forgot all about the fact that there was actually people watching this waiting to critique every movement we make." He pats my head and leaves, leaving me and Jensen alone. "So what now?" I ask. "Well I could use a drink" Jensen lets out in small release of breath. "Same."  I exhale, standing up. Jensen grabs my hand squeezing it before leaning in and giving me a quick but passionate kiss. I sigh. "Jensen.. We both been through a lot in these pass few months and I don't think this is a good idea.. Maybe Jared interrupting us was a sign of that and I don't know..this is all too much at once." I said taking a step back. "Misha I know you're scared of being hurt, and I understand that whole heartedly but before you I felt like everything was forced, and it hurt me when Daneel cheated on me because I had sacrificed almost everything for her even my on comfortability, everything was sex, but with you there's more, there's laughter and love and happiness and I feel so fucking comfortable with you, I don't care if the world knows.. I need you, in more ways then one and I know this is a lot to think about and I know you may think this is just some spurr of the moment and we're just confused but,  Im not confused at all, I know what I want and I want you"  Jensen says almost in one breath like he was holding it in for a while.  At a lost for words, I just pull him into a hug, he squeezes me.. "I think..I love you, I think I've always had a thing for you, but I was scared and when you took me in it just opened my eyes a little more, I never felt this way about another man and it just frightened me ." He confessed. "Jensen im listening I really am, but I just don't know... This all seems so risky and everything is moving so fast" I admitted feeling horrible about it, because this man just confessed his love for me, but im not entirely sure if I feel the same way, it would be unfair to him if I forced something so special. "I understand." He said his voice cracking a little, releasing me he left the room, I groaned out loud rubbing my face roughly. Why can't I be a simple human being. He must feel so destroyed, his wife cheated on him, and almost made him believe he had a child that didn't even belong to him, while I already have two of my own, I know what kids are like and how loved they make you feel, and on top of all of that the man he found himself loving may not even feel the same way, im attracted to him of course but that's not enough to be with someone, I need to be sure I love him. We don't need anymore heart break and betrayal.

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Jensen_