"Love for Bismuth" (Bismuth X Female Reader!)

Chapter 13 - Recovery

I kept sitting on top of the cliff. The need to cry finally stopped, I wasn't feeling that bad anymore which was amazing, I always hated to be sad. And to calm myself, I layed down slowly and took my phone out, wanting to turn on some music. I already knew what I wanted to put on, but to my surprise I noticed that I got some messages from Ronaldo. I haven't looked at my phone for a while, being worried of what he could answer. But I was relieved that he replied. This made me kind of happy, it felt like things did seem to get better after my "mental breakdown". I hesitated at first, got a really unsure feeling in my stomach but then opened the messages to check what he wrote me.

"It's okay...I didn't want you to feel overwhelmed."
"But I still care about you a lot--"

I cracked a smile. I was so happy to see that he's not mad at me or anything, at least that's what I hope. And the last message was actually pretty sweet. I felt bad about turning him down somehow...maybe I was judging too fast? He's such a good friend after all. And he did all of this just for me, I felt so special and important. No one ever made me feel like this before. Now that I think of it, maybe I really was just overwhelmed about all of it. The sudden romantic mood, flowers and candles, the lovely dresscodes of him and Peedee. Now I had to blush thinking about all of this again. I felt desperate to text back, not wanting to keep him waiting.

"I care about you a lot too...and I really miss you."

After that, I put my phone back into my pocket, hoping for everything to get better soon. I awaited his answer to get things back on track again, since it was very important for me to still be good friends with him. "I'm sure it's pretty late now..." I had no clue on what time it was, but I felt like it was midnight already. My eyes burned even more and I started yawning. I sometimes even had to be careful not to pass out. ((I really miss my bed right now...)) I stood up and stretched before making my way back to the house. One sign of tiredness was that my legs started to hurt, even if this sounds crazy, and I found myself being really stressed out. As I entered the house, there were no crystal gems to be found. They probably went to their own rooms or something like that. But I was glad no one was around, I've had the need to be alone for a longer while, to take my time out. I didn't bother making myself perfectly ready for bed. I just washed off my make-up that was really messed up from all the crying and brushed my teeth before changing into my pyjamas. Finally, I layed in my cozy and warm bed, and my body thanked me so much for that: I started to relax big time and my muscles lost tension. My look went to the window to look at the beautiful sky. It almost felt as if the sky-gems wished me a good night. The bismuth stone was still laying there, touched by the pretty shines from the night. I almost forgot it-- I realized I had this stone with me and Steven as I met Bismuth for the first time, so I started to remember again. The smile I became felt as if it almost cracked my face. I'm glad I met her. It's incredible how I went from mistrusting and being scared of her, to loving her like a really good friend. And I do think she's a really special gem, one of the best I've ever met. After thinking about what happend this day, I finally closed my eyes which burned a bit, but with time I felt myself drifting away even more.

There was something suspicious in the air, a really sweet smell. "What's...going on?" I asked myself. "Did someone spray some parfume around here?..." It was surprisingly bright as I opened my eyes, I couldn't see anything for some seconds, but then my vision became perfectly clear somehow. The first thing I noticed is that the sky was pink, and the clouds looked like cotton candy. They shimmered so sweetly, you almost felt like wanting to take a bite out of them. I couldn't see the sun for some reason, but it was warm. As if there was one, and the wind blewed gently. I didn't knew what it was, but I did realize I was laying on something. It felt like a really soft blanket. My back raised on its own to sit, and I gasped softly seeing that there were millions of roses everywhere. It was like an ocean. "Huh? Where am I?" Scratching my head in pure confusion, I stood up to walk around a bit. My eyes studied the roses closely, they were all very beautiful. It was then when I heard someone saying my name. "(Y/N)." The voice was warm and gentle, I could hear it very clearly. My reaction was quick, I turned around to look for the person that said my name. "Hello? Who was that?....W-Where are you!?" The wind blew stronger, the petals started to form in the near distance, as if they wrapped around something. And just then, a slightly bright shine appeared and I could soon see a tall woman with a white dress and long, curly hair. My heart skipped a beat as she smiled at me. "My girl." She whispered, and I could hear her words very clearly again. Filled with shock, I trembled and my eyes wattered strongly, I soon felt huge tears run down my face. "M......Momm...y?" I whined like a child and started to run to her as quickly as I could. Seeing her chuckling warmly and opening her arms filled my heart with even more joy. As I finally melted into her embrace, I began sopping and cuddling my face into her soft, pink hair. "There there, my child." Her hand patted my back and the other one stroked my hair. "What's with all the tears?" The voice of hers sounded joyful, yet very motherly. She raised my chin and made me look at her, while I still cried. "Cheer up~ Everyone loves a happy, beautiful face." Everything felt so real, and I honestly hoped it was. The roses around us started to bloom strongly and glittered, more and more petals flew. I felt so unbelievably happy. "It....It's really you!! I just can't believe it---" "Shhhh~" she calmed me when I was about to sob again. Her soft hands pulled me closer to her and I just had to continue speaking. "But why...I-Is this a dream? Am I just dreaming you being here?....What does all of this mean.." I was confused. The last dream I had being in that cave was too real. I was very shocked realizing it was just a dream, because I could swear it was true. Then she let go of me. Her hand reached out to mine, waiting for mine to grab it, and I accepted it. We walked towards a sakura tree. It appeared out of nowhere, and I didn't see it before which was mysterious. As we proceeded to sit down under the tree, Rose opend her arms, wanting me to lay down. But I had mistrust, so I just leaned against her shoulder and her arm then wrapped around me. "My dear (Y/N), you have a special ability. Your dreams are indeed able to turn real. They feel, smell, sound and look like they really are. It always depends on your feelings, if you feel scared or stressed, you tend to have dangerous dreams. If you feel sad, in despair, you're getting dreams that might make you cry. Dramatic dreams." She explained all of this quite cleary. The sun seemed to shine through the black clouds of ignorance. Everything became more and more clear to me. "And you know why?...Because you either need to learn to handle a situation similar to the emotion, or you sometimes need a clear answer to unknown questions." "So...you are here to...give me answers...? To my doubts of being a good daughter to you...or even being a daughter at all." I knew Rose wasn't alive in real life. Steven has got her gem, it's the only way he could exist. So...I came to the depressing conclusion that this was definetely a dream...made by my emotions and heart. "(Y/N)" She said chuckling. "Just because you're not my biological child, doesn't change the fact that you are still my daughter. I found you, I loved you and I raised you. And I couldn't be more proud of you and Steven..." It was so damn nice to hear this. She healed my bleeding heart, my scars. Even though Steven's got her gem, we are still conected in our hearts. I didn't want this moment to end. "I-I....I love you....mom." My face got burried in her embrace before I got a kiss on the forehead. "I love you too, (Y/N). I will always be with you."

The warm voice got quieter, like an echo. And soon disappeared completely. The smell of roses also stopped and I was still cought up in the wonderful moment. Soon, I opend my eyes just to find myself cuddling my pillow while my face was wet from all the tears. It was colder, somehow still warm from the blanket that covered me, but not as warm as mom's embrace. "Mom..." I whispered, taking a look around the house. It was probably the middle of the night still, maybe like 3:00AM. After seeing the pure night and the sweetly shining moon outside the window, my look went to the slightly wet pillow. "...I miss her so much again..." After that, I went back to cuddling my pillow, closing my eyes and hoping to be falling asleep again since it was still very late. I really wish to see her again soon...

Then finally, I awoke to be greeted by the sunshine. I was curled up in my blanket again, my hand reached for the clock. "10:00AM". Seems to be a perfect time to be waking up. Even though I was still tired, I forced myself out of the bed and stretched widely. Right after yawning and scratching my back, I stood up to put my feet inside my slippers and walk down the stairs. I wasn't really hungry so I decided to drink a cup of tea. To my surprise, I saw Bismuth sitting in the kitchen. "Huh? Oh.. good morning Bismuth!" My voice sounded dozy, I somehow felt like going to sleep again for more hours. She turned around hearing me and seemed reliefed in some way. "O-oh...you're awake! I'm so glad!" "You are~?" I asked her. She was trying to play cool and looked away. "Uhhh...well, maybe. I just...hope you're okay. You know, after what happend yesterday." I passed by her wanting to head to the fridge and open it. "I am, don't you worry! Still sweet that you care." I took out a cup and a tea-bag with raspberry flavor before boiling the water. "Do you want some tea too?" I asked turning to Bismuth only to see her looking around the room. "Hm? O-Oh umm no...I'm fine." Even though she tried to act normal I couldn't stop feeling like something's on her mind. I only grinned and studied her. "You seem so nervous. Are you sure you're okay?" For some reason, Bismuth didn't want to look at me. Her eyes went around the room and tried not to meet mine. "Pshhh, of course!" she answered. "Why would I ever lie to you." N'awww she's adorable, trying to act all tough and chill in front of a girl like me. Haha, okay try not to get too weird thoughts. Even though I do all the time. But I didn't want to tease her too much and let her get away with it. "Alright then! You know...I'm thinking about meeting Ronaldo again.. Well, after what happend." Now her eyes looked at me. As soon as I finished my tea and took out the spoon, wanting to sit down and enjoy it, I noticed her looking at me with an expression mixed with worry and seriousness. "Really? Are you sure about that?" "Umm...yea...I don't know, I feel so bad for what I've done...it could've been different. This feeling of guilt couldn't leave me." Bismuth has been silent for a moment, thinking a little and then leaning forward to me. "You know, it's still your decission after all, but I think it's his fault too. Putting preasure on you was not right." "B-But he was just hurt--" I still cared so much, Ronaldo was the only thing I could think about at that moment. "I really want to see him again." From what I could tell of the gem's expression, she didn't seem to agree with me. I looked down at my cup before noticing her raising her back and claping her hands together. "Alright. If this is what you desire. Then you should go talk to him, and I hope things will go best." My eyes couldn't stop studying her. I took a sip while still looking at her and smiled. "It's just so sweet you still care this much. You could've just not care in the first place." She looked away again, but was smiling too. "I thought this is what friends do."
Later that morning, I was messaging Ronaldo asking him if he wants to hang out. He said yes, but I could tell that he was shy because of his writing. I got ready as quickly as I could, jumping around like a young fawn out of hapiness. As I was ready I looked at Bismuth while standing at the door to leave. "Wish me luck!" She winked while pointing finger-guns at me. "Go get him, gurl." This left a smile on my face. I left the house while texting Ronaldo on my way to meet him.

"Hey! I'm on my way now!"

It didn't took long for him to respond.

"So excited to see you again.."