I stare back at his horrified expression, "I-I, sorry" He looks down to his fingers. Im utterly speechless, he's known me for over two months, its took him two months to fall for me. I saw the signs, I shouldn't have lead him on like i've been doing. I shouldn't have used our friendship, he was the only one willing to help me when I was so caught up with Harry.
"Where is he?" I need to completely forget that Zayn has just declared his love for me, he's clearly regretting the slip up already. He looks sharply back at me, his face crimson red. "Za-"
"I don't know" He snaps, his features have become hard, jealousy. He's jealous of Harry.
"Yes you do." I test. Any minute now this harmless boy is going to flip. His grinds his teeth, those already chizzled cheek bones becoming tense. "Zayn pl-"
"He's probably fucking Bea or something." There it is, I watch him stand up in a huff his words slicing through me as I follow him. "You know he doesn't really love you, your not meant to leave people you love." His voice is thick, I keep silent. "Please don't tell me you thought he could love again?" I stay silent, im starting to see his true colours, I wish id never of asked.
This is why people run from you, push you away like you mean nothing. You, Carly don't know when enough is enough, you push and push people to their breaking point and get something you don't want to know. Of course Harry doesn't love you, no one loves you. Your mother is nothing but disappointed in you, and you know that. You have caused that divorce, but your darling father doesn't know how to grow a pair of balls and tell you. Stop pretending to be the only one who matters, you don't matter to anyone. God, you are so selfish.
"I-I didn't mean to make you cry." His voice has softened, he walks back over to me cupping my cheek. If im honest, I didn't even notice the warm tears on my face. I lean into his hand, "I-im sorry" He pulls me back into his chest, the tears starting to cause a damp patch under my face.
"Pl-ease" I beg, pushing him slightly back. "Ta-ke me to him." I need to see him, I don't care how long for I need to see him. A deep sigh falls from his mouth, he pushes me back taking in my appearance.
"I-I cant." I physically feel my heart drop, I loosen out his grip completely. "You have to understand, Harry he isn't fit to see you." Fit? What does he mean? I shake my head, almost forgetting the negative thoughts.
"I need to." Frustration, depressed, empty. The list of how im feeling without him could go on. Feelings I haven't felt before, feelings that are so god damn strong that I cant go a minute without thinking about him. I want him, more than I've ever wanted a guy in my life. I need him, I need him to make me feel wanted. "Please, you don't even have to drive me, just tell me whe-"
"No, I cant let you go there by yourself." He sighs, bringing me back into his arms. "You know how much trouble were going to get in, again." He laughs, I pull my forehead from his chest joining in with the sweet sound of his chuckles.
"I don't want you to get in trouble." The laughing dies down as reality sinks in. I cant do this to him, not again. I cant always rely on him to get me where I want and have him get in trouble for it.
"It'll be fine." He assures me, his smile fading. It wont be though, I know it wont. Again, here you are getting your own way. You are not some five year old girl, your a young adult, learn to fight your own battles. Zayn will do whatever you need, I cant believe your letting him get in trouble for some boy you apparently love. The funny thing is, Harry doesn't love you. He never has and he never will, he wont have the same feelings he had for you. He could never possibly love someone like you, your a mess, a complete and utter mess. You're covered in hideous scars from your own mistakes, your mistakes that are ruining everything around you. Your going to become very lonely, sooner than you think.
"You ready?" Im snapped back out of my thoughts, making me way over to Zayn. He gives me another reassuring smile as I walk past him and out the door. He shortly follows as we make our way down the corridors. "Put your hood up." He pulls me closer, his hand firmly gripped on my waist. I look up at him, his focus on the front desk. I cant do this, I cant expect him to take me again, to watch him only be left broken when I run back into Harry arms. He doesn't deserve this, to be treated like shit, because that's all im doing. Using him.
We exit the building, the small droplets of rain becoming much quicker as we pace across the car park. He holds open the door as I slide in. I watch him walk round the front of the car, opening up the door and sliding in. "Just give me two seconds." He pulls out his phone, the maps pop up on his screen. A few clicks later and Harrys destination is in. Do it, you know its the only way. I let my inner thoughts bring my final decision around.
He puts the keys into the ignition, switching the car on. Now, this is your only chance. "Er- coat. Have you got a coat in the boot?" I smile, he nods. He quickly gets out the car, shutting the door. I lean across the seat, locking the car door's, as well as the boot. I jump into the drivers seat, strapping my seat belt in.
His fists pound against the window. "What are you doing." I push the gear into first, its been a long time since ive driven a car. Never driven a car this big. "Carly, stop being stupid." He pulls at the door handle. I leave my fingers on the lock, starring back at Zayn. Just drive, leave him he'll soon catch up. Drive now. I pull away, pushing the hand break down and applying some gas. "Carly!" His face turns into horror as I watch him slowly pace hiself alongside the truck. I apply more gas watching Zayn slowly fade away.
I exit off the car park, taking a left turn following the sat nav. The adrenaline pumps through my body quicker than expected, my heart is pounding and I cant seem to stop shaking. What am I doing, this isn't me at all. He's doing this to me, if he wasn't so god damn stubborn we'd be together in the ward. I know im too blame, if I hadn't of judged him, or even left him that night maybe this wouldn't have happened, maybe id slowly be getting better instead of becoming ruthless. I mean I should have known this was a bad idea. I push the gear into second gaining more speed, I check the sat nav. Turn left, again.
Destroy his phone, put the address into your sat nav and get rid of his phone. Tracking device, it has to have one. He's already on your tail, if you want this to work than your going to have to do as I say.
Im quick to pull into the nearest pull in, grabbing my phone out my pocket and shakily typing in the address. I open the window, throwing out Zayns phone and watching it get crushed as the on coming cars drive over it. I watch out the side mirror, pulling out back onto the road.
I switch the radio on, drowning out all my regret I feel.
Hiiiiii, how is everyone? Im so close to 100 votes and comments! if if get to that from this chapter/previous chapters I will do a double update! I hope you guys still enjoy my story, tell me what you think? I hope you are all having a great week! don't forget to comment/vote! x
