uploaded a picture of Harry and Carly on the side ! check it out x
Zayn's attempted a few times to make civil conversations with me, brushing them off and staring out the window is my reply to him. Im yet to get my head around that it was just a coincidence that i happened to bump into Zayn's and Harry's friends girlfriend, Eleanor. It doesn't add up, he looked exactly like Harry, but why would he come here. Of all the places, and not to his mother's house. This is going to play on my mind and the sleepless nights im having are only going to repeat themselves.
"Say something." He mumbles, pulling up into the services. Honestly, i haven't got the energy nor am i mentally fit enough to have a conversation about anything. All my mind seems to be processing is that Harry was with those two and i didn't seem to react. i don't know why i didn't, but i regret every action i didn't take. "Carly." He speaks again.
I reply with a small sigh, followed by getting out his car. I zip up my jacket, pulling my hood up and walking next to Zayn. "You have to talk at one point, we'll have to head back to the hospital soon." I didn't think this through, of course i cant run away. It was a stupid idea, it was a spilt second decision that shouldn't of been made.
"I know" I sigh, bringing out my phone. Nothing, as usual im waiting for something that isn't going to come. I thought that maybe if i saw him, we'd instantly make up and run away. The fairy tale ending that will never come.
"Come on, we should stay the night here." He's right, again. With last nights shit nights sleep, i can only imagine getting a repeat tonight. We grab some food, and various drinks and head over to the Premiere inn. Again were sharing a room, two single beds along with a double. I pull back the covers, sliding in and taking off my damp hoodie.
"Do you need anything?" He comes and tucks me in, i feel like a small child. I feel intimidated and anxious. I shake my head, he leans down planting a kiss on my forehead. "Its going to be okay." I cant help but disagree, its not. Its going to be far from okay, im going to go back to the ward and im going to drive myself insane. My inner thoughts are going to get the better of me, im going to be worse than i was before i came here.
He switches off the side light before heading over to his bed, scooting in and switching his side light off. I roll over facing away from him, pulling my phone out and re-reading the messages he'd sent me. The simple answers mean much more than nothing. I feel the tear's hit my cheeks, i bring my hand over my mouth muffling the small whimpers.
I climb back out the bed, tip toeing into the bathroom and locking the door. I sit down onto the toilet seat, pulling back out my phone and calling Harry.
Again i hit his voice mail. "I-i don't know how much longer i can keep chasing you, keep calling you even texting you with silly one word answers Harry. I miss you, its been a week and i miss you more than i should. You've heard this over and over, ive repeated this every day to you. And still nothing." I sigh. "i-I love you" I quickly hang up, regretting i ever confessed my love for him. He has full control over my feelings and will defiantly use it to his advantage.
I stand up, taking in my appearance. Im lost, completely lost in the dark bags lay under my eyes, my roots greaser than ever, the blemishes becoming more obvious, my cheek bones firmly outlined. Ive lost weight, i know i have. Ive skipped meals, eating a lot of crap that is no good for my sugar levels. I tie my hair up, washing my face with cool water. I dry off my face, taking off my top and placing it on the radiator. I switch the light off, jumping back into my bed and begin to stare at the ceiling.
"Where have you been?" My mother's voice rings through my ears. This is the last thing i need, her yapping annoying voice after spending two hours in the silence.
"Mrs Carter, i think you should lower you're voice." Zayn steps in.
"Excuse me. My daughter has been missing for 24 hours and you're telling me to lower my voice." She snaps. "I have been going out my mind." She shakes her head. I know she has, there is only me to blame for this mess.
"She's back now, safe and sound." His voice is calm, too calm for this situation.
She laughs. "Safe?, she will not be staying here any longer." As much as i want that to happen, i cant help but hold on to every hope that Harry will come back.
"No mom" I pipe up, staring blankly out the window of my room.
"No Carly, you have no say in this what so ever." She shouts.
"I think you should think about this before you make any drastic decisions." My father enters the room. "She seems to be pretty settled in here." I am, more than settled in.
"No, this is it. If so she will have to attend that one in England." England? That is too much, my parents would still be living here in America, id have no one.
"England?" I question, "Why should i leave?" I stand up, "Im happy here mom, i know it may not seem it but i am." I sigh.
"Happy?" She laughs. "You call running away with a complete thug happy?" Zayn is far from a thug, his appearance is blinding.
"Zayn isn't a thug mother, he is the most caring, generous and loving guy ive ever met." I walk over to my friend, defending him. "He's the only one who seems to be here for me, no matter how shit i treat him. He doesn't leave." Its sinking in just how much ive been depending on Zayn. He didn't have to take me to find Harry, but he did.
"Honey, i know a thug when i see one." She laughs.
"I think you should stop." My father steps in, bringing his wife closer to the door.
"No, she is coming with us." My mother stands her ground. "Come on Carly, pack your things." I grab a hold of Zayn's hand, entwining our fingers.
"Im staying." Her features turn hard, Zayn's grip tightening and my heart beginning to beat quicker.
"Stop being a little brat and get you're things ready." She steps over to me, Zayn's grip still holding me from her. "What are you still doing here?" She looks to Zayn.
"Stopping you from making a huge mistake." He steps in front of me, blocking my view from my mother.
"Stop interfering, this is you're fault." She always places the blame on other people.
I pull away from Zayn, stepping in front of him to stand up to my mother. "No, stop blaming other people will you. This is your fault, yours. I wouldn't be here if you didn't neglect everything i did, everything i achieved. If you two would stop and think about others than yourself or Caitlin. That's all that matters in your eyes." I sigh. "Ive been pushed away by my own parents and now look where i am, here i am in this place completely messed up and unable to talk to my own mother." I fight back the slight tears that form as my mother is left completely speechless.
Before another word is said, a large grip pulls me into a warm chest. Their heart beat quickens as i wrap my arms around there neck, nuzzling my teary face into their chest. I go to pull away, only to be brought closer.
"I love you."
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