I'm (Not) Sorry

Chapter 12

We stepped into the hospital silently, even though I was shaking a bit. I just kept repeating over and over again in my head: Please, let her be okay. It was Pippa, Lin, and I walking to Jasmine's room. According to the receptionist, the rest of her family was in the room, as well, including those from London. I was excited to see all of them, too. Mostly, I was excited to see Jasmine in a less chaotic setting.

I slowly entered the room after knocking, seeing Jasmine in bed with her mother beside her. I could tell she had been crying... Did something happen? Was there something wrong with Jasmine?

"Hey," Jasmine greeted quietly, tearing up once she saw me. Neither of us knew what to say.

"How you doin'?" I asked as I knelt down beside her bed. She looked over at me and stared for a moment before answering.

"I'm doin' alright, actually... Little bruised up and I got a few cuts, but... I'm okay."

"And the baby?"

"I'm gettin' a checkup soon. In an hour or so, actually. I'll know then."

I slowly nodded and looked at Jasmine's mother. She looked back at me and smiled a bit. I always liked Kim. She was nice to everyone and took good care of Jasmine, even after she moved away.

The hour of waiting went by quickly, and Jasmine and I went into a different room for an ultrasound after her checkup. Thankfully, there was no sort of internal damage or broken bones or anything severe. Jasmine was going to be okay, and safe to leave in a couple weeks. At least, if the baby turned out okay, too. We would also have to be seen by a psychologist for a while. The abuse caused a lot of trauma to both her and me.

I sat by Jasmine's bed, holding her hand as the ultrasound began. I was just as nervous as she was; the last thing we wanted was for our baby to be hurt in any way. We exchanged looks as the screen was turned on. We were saying the same thing.

"I'm praying to God that everything is okay."

I stared at the baby through the screen, all curled up in Jasmine's stomach. I teared up as I looked. That was my child in there, living and breathing. I couldn't wait to hold that child. I looked over at Jasmine, who was having the same reaction I was. The nurse gave us a minute before speaking.

"I'm not seeing anything wrong from this. No deformation, good size, positioned correctly... Of course, I still have to do a bit more looking into this, but, from what I can tell, nothing seems to be wrong."

Jasmine and I shared a relieved look. We were both crying. We're crybabies.

"I can take a few pictures and step out to determine the gender, if you want."

We looked at the nurse again before Jasmine spoke.

"Yeah," she said in a shaky voice. "We'd like that."

The nurse nodded and turned to her computer. Jasmine and I looked at each other again. I smiled and held her hand; it was the first time I held it since what felt like centuries. The nurse gave us a bit of information before stepping out, leaving us in silence. I didn't let go of Jasmine's hand. I didn't want to.

"I can't wait to get outta here," Jasmine said. "I just want everything to go back to normal."

"Yeah, well, don't forget, we got that trial next week," I reminded her. I reminded myself, too. I didn't want to go to the trial, but at the same time, I wanted to watch Dallas get sentenced life in prison. I'm exaggerating, but that'd be really nice to watch. Jasmine groaned; she seemed to be thinking the same thing as me.

"I," Jasmine began. "Would rather. Die." I laughed a bit.

"You don't mean that," I told her. "I just got you back, anyway. I ain't lettin' you go again."

We smiled at each other. Everything was going good. Better than before, at least.

After the hospital visit, I decided it was time for me to go and talk to my mama. I knew she had to be ready to strike the fear of God in me, and, boy, was she.

"I understand fully that this was for your girlfriend!" she yelled. "But you could've said something! Left a note! When I found you were in jail, I nearly threw up! Do you know how much stress that put on me?"

I sighed as I listened to her scold me. I knew it'd blow over soon, but I also knew that wouldn't change the fact that she really was concerned. I couldn't help but feel guilty.

"But..." I saw her soften up. "You did save a life. I'm proud of you."

I looked up at her and smiled. So, she wasn't completely angry with me.

I stayed with Mama for a while and helped her out around the house. I cooked, cleaned, and ran a lot of errands. I wasn't of much help lately, so I decided it'd be nice to make it up to her. One day, though, while I was making dinner, Mama called me into the living room.

"I just got a call from Lin," was what she told me. "They want you back on the show."

Oh boy. I was exhausted already. Why now? I thought. I had just gotten my girlfriend back, and I was really looking forward to spending some time with her. I had to do it, though. I had to do it.

"Tell him I said I'll be there tomorrow."