ASHLEY

37

   I lean against the door, cursing myself for looking so guilty. I didn't do anything wrong. I don't think I did.

   Well I can figure that out later. Right now I need to get some food in my stomach. Feels like I haven't had anything to eat in days. "Where are you going?" Isaiah ask.

   I turn to him as if he'd gone and grown another head. "To get some food. I'm so hungry I feel like my stomach is eating my back." When he gets up and follow me to the kitchen I decide to ignore him and focus on pulling everything I find-that doesn't require any cooking to eat-out and sitting it on the table. After raiding the refrigerator I move to the cabinet and open up a bag of chips. Everything looks good enough to eat. Even Isaiah.

   "What's so funny?" Isaiah ask me. I hadn't realized I was smiling.

   "You just look so damn good with them juicy lips, that soft light brown skin-"

   "Are you high?"

   "No but I am horny."

   He throws his hands up. "You're definitely high. I've been calling you all day and you haven't picked up your phone. I was worried sick. Just tell me the truth, were you with Him? He get you like this?"

   My brows knit together in confusion. Is he seriously trying to accuse me of cheating? It shouldn't matter if I was with Kenneth. I didn't do anything. I'm tired of everyone looking down on my friend. We all deserve second chances so why is everyone acting like he's the same boy he was before he left? Kenneth is older and mature now. He's not a little boy. People need to back up and let the boy be. He hasn't done anything to them.

   I'm the one he hurt and if I can learn to forgive him everyone else should. I can't stand it.

   "He didn't get me any way. I felt like smoking so I did. I dont need anyone over my shoulders telling me what to do." The last part was a reference to how annoying he has been lately with telling me what I need to do with my future.

   "Well he should have been man enough to know when you've had enough and he wasn't. You really shouldn't be hanging out with him."

   "Stop telling me what to do Isaiah. I'm not a child." I bite my lip and turn away from him to keep from crying. I don't know why I'm being so emotional.

   "Well you're acting like one," Isaiah yells.

   "So are you!" I yell right back. Just because I have a little weed in my system doesn't mean I'm suddenly going to back down and let him talk to me the way he is. If there's anything my parents taught me it's that I shouldn't let any man, or anyone for that matter, talk down to me or make me feel like I'm inadequate.

   Isaiah rolls his eyes and slump against the refrigerator. I take the rest of my snacks with me to the living room and pig out.

   I'm so hungry.

   "Do you even care?"

   I pause. "Where's Angela?"

   "Thats-she went out with some friends. She let me in on her way out. Clearly there's no use talking to you like this. You eat your snacks and then we can go to bed okay?"

   "Sure but dont expect any coochie with the way you're talking to me."

   "Oh my gosh Bria," he whines.

   What? Is it not okay for me to be freaky when I'm high and he can? What am I talking about? I'm always freaky. I can't help it. I'm a nasty girl.

   Isaiah and I stay up for most of the night bickering at each other and eating the kitchen. Well I mostly pigged out. I was too hungry not to.

   Now I feel so drousy I can't even move but I can't go back to sleep either. Not with the sun shinning on my face through my sheer curtains. I turn over, throwing my leg across Isaiah's warm body. This is the second time he has stayed the night. If Aunt Jackie finds out she just might kill me this time.

   Isaiah begins to stir in his sleep and not long after he wakes up. "Good morning," he whispers in a groggy voice.

   "About our fight last night-" I begin, getting straight to the point.

   "Bria I'm so sorry for how I acted last night. I was way out of line. Its just that I care about you okay? I love you and I'm okay if you're not ready to say it back. I understand you have been through so much already in your life. I don't want to force anything that you don't want. I'm sorry," Isaiah says in a rush.

   My mouth falls open as I stare into those dreamy eyes of his.

   I'm the one that messed up last night. I went to a party at my former best friend's house and neglected to tell him. Then I got high and almost kissed Kenneth on more than one occasion if I do recall correctly-of course I'm not attracted to Kenneth the kiss was just something that happened-and neglected to answer any of Isaiah's calls.

   I'm the one that messed up last night.

   So why is he the one apologizing?

   Could he love me so much that he would be willing to turn a blind eye and apologize for my mistakes? He couldn't. Could he? I mean, we're young and-

   "Isaiah," I breathe.

   "I don't want to lose you over something so stupid."

   I rest my hand on his muscular shoulder. "Don't worry. You won't." I smother him in soft wet kisses as he push me back on the bed. Our argument last night long since forgotten. He place his hand behind my neck, pulling me closer to him.

   Not long after Isaiah is inside me and I'm realizing this is more than just sex to him. Its so much more. To him this is us making love.