ASHLEY

50

   There minutes.

   That's how much time has passed between the two of us without anyone saying anyting but it feels like an eternity. The tension between us is so thick I could actually cut it with a knife.

   Maybe Kenneth is right about me being stuck up. I sure as he'll don't think I am but my actions could portray something else to people. I'm not judging him for selling dope. I'm honestly just disappointed. "You have everything you could possibly ask for. You don't need to do this. What if you end up in jail?" My voice is soft and I'm not sure if it's from the previous yelling or if I'm just afraid of his answer.

   "I won't."

   Another silence pass between us before I finally fix my mouth to ask the one question that has been on my mind. "You kill people?"

   Kenneth steps away from the wall and glares at me angrily. "Don't ask me no fucked up shit like that. That's really what you think of me?"

   "You didn't say no."

   Kenneth's face becomes set as he moves closer to me. Unsure of what he might do, I step back until my back hits the brick wall. Kenneth is pressed against me in seconds. Both our breathing become ragged, mine definitely from fear.

   "You know what? Fuck you. I'm done with this shit," he shrugs.

   My mouth hangs open and my thin eyebrows knit together in shock. He's never talked to me like this before and I hate it. I hate that those words are coming out of his mouth. This is not the Kenneth I use to know and I realize that because that Kenneth was sweet and though he always was getting me into some kind of mischief, he would have never said anything like that to hurt me.

   This person Kenneth has become is freightening. Maybe I would be able to understand if he would just tell me the reason he left in the first place and what happened during the period he was gone. Something changed him, something bad.

   Tears pool in my eyes and I have to refrain from blinking to keep them from falling. "You don't mean that."

   "Everything is so difficult with you." He shakes his head vigorously.

   I catch sight of the old woman that rung up my books earlier. Her tiny frame makes her way over to us. "Is everything alright? Bria, would you like a ride home, it's late out?" She ask in a concerned voice which leads me to believe she may have kids and even grandkids of her own.

   "She doesn't need a ride from you-"

   "Actually that would be nice," I interupt Kenneth.

   He sighs, defeated. "Look, I'm not in a good space right now. I love you," he says when I don't say anything in response to his first comment.

   "I know," I slither out from under him and try to make my way to the woman when I'm pulled back by my arm.

   "I love you. I really do."

   "I know."

   "No you don't. I don't just love you as a friend, Bria. These past few weeks we've gotten a lot closer but it just feels like sex is all there will ever be between us and the thought scares me. I don't want to hurt you like I am and I know you don't want to hurt me but that's all we're doing to each other. Everyone was right to tell you to stay away from me. Kayla was right. I just wish you would have listened. You're just so damn stubborn."

   There they are. There goes the tears. It hurts so bad for him to be right. This was suppose to be different. We were suppose to work. Yeah the sex part of it was totally unplanned and caught the both of us off-guard but we were still suppose to work. There's history behind the relastionship. I guess that doesn't always mean much. At least this time it doesn't.

   "I have to go," I force out.

   "We should talk about this later."

   "Yeah, we will." I don't know if I believe that or not but right now the main focus is getting as far away from him as possible. Carol, she said her name is, drapes an arm around me as she leads me to her car.

   "I don't know much but from what I gather I reckon that boy is no good for you. You may think you like him now but most likely it wont last. I'm speaking from experience sweet heart," Carol says once we pull off in the direction of my house, I have her the address of course.

   No other words are exchanged as the car runs smoothly down the road. The moon beams down through the window.

   This has to be Karma. I know it. When Kenneth and I got together I was still in a relationship with Isaiah. Isaiah was so sweet to me. He wasn't like other guys and I both hated and loved that about him. He has a good head on his shoulder. His mother raised him well. He fell in love with me and I couldn't love him back. Maybe I just didn't want to. That's the cruel thing about all of this.

   I'm an awful person. I broke his heart, stomped on it. All in the hopes of starting something New with Kenneth.

   Yeah, Karma's a bitch.

    Here's a double update as another way to apologize for the late updates. Hope you enjoyed. Don't forget to like.