Something New ~ Mikey Barone

Chapter 15

Song: Run And Hide-Sabrina Carpenter

Hannah P.O.V.

Within that moment, everything clicked. Everything that had happened tonight had made sense except one thing:

"Why would you keep that from me, Mikey? " I sigh, holding a hand up to my chest in exhaustion. This is simply too much stress for me to handle all in one night's time. I wish I could just go to sleep now, wake up and know everything is going to be all right. But that's everyone's dream. "All right" is not guaranteed. And to put it simply: that blows.

Mikey took a deep breath and sat down on the couch, averting his eyes from me, playing with the hem of his jacket.

"Because I was afraid," he mumbles so low and soft, that it is barely audible.

"Afraid of what?" I asked, confusion laced in my voice and written on my face. I stared at him intently, my somewhat tapered eyebrows furrowed, waiting for an answer while in a trance. Even at a moment like this he still manages to appear perfect to me. Something about his vulnerability brings it out even more.

He traces his finger across his joggers in nervousness.

"You're going to think it's stupid. And now that I think about it, I could have just avoided all this and told you the truth in the first place about Bryce, but I didn't. So now, here we are. I left you at a fucking party by yourself. I abandoned you because I was pissed and didn't even give you a chance to explain. I-" Mikey cut himself off, for e could barely talk.

His voice was growing raspy, and dry, cracking several times. It matched the rawness of his emotions. His hands were clenched together into fists, placed on the couch. I'd almost forgot that Mikey drank anything, because his voice wasn't slurry at all anymore. It was quite clear.

I nodded, even though his back was turned to me. I was pretty sure at this point he was crying, but he probably didn't want me to see him that way.

I reached out and put a hand on his shoulder, as if to say "it's okay," but he swatted it away.

"Stop trying to make me feel better. I don't deserve it." His voice was stern now, but quickly softened.

"I thought you'd leave me, Hannah. That's the worst part of all of this. I actually thought you would leave me for him. That's why I lied to you," he scoffed at himself, letting out a small, sarcastic chuckle.

"Mikey, don't be so hard on yourself. You haven't even given me a chance to say anything."

He turned around to face me taking a hold of my hand and gently joining our hands together. A comforting sensation flowed through me, even though I don't think this conversation is going in the best direction.

"That's because I don't deserve your forgiveness. I know if you were to say anything, you'd say it's okay. You always think everything is going to be okay. And that's great and all but..." he pauses for a moment, using his other hand to glide his fingers through his thick, cropped hair.

I sigh in anticipation for him to continue.

"Now is just not one of those times. I'm a dick and I'm sorry you have to deal with that," he rolls his eyes at his own behavior.

I shrug.

"Fine, then," I smile softly. "If you don't want me to say everything is okay, then I won't. You really are a dick," I laughed.

He laughed along, his seriousness slowly dissipating. "Awe, no," he fake pouts.

"But, you're a dick that cares. And that's what matters to me," I smile again, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

He looks down at me, my head resting on his shoulder, with a toothy grin. It was the first time I had seen him genuinely smile the entire night.

"I guess I do really care about you, don't I?" He almost asked himself, with a hint of surprise in his voice. "Never knew I could do that," he laughs jokingly. His dimples show and his voice increases in pitch when he laughs. His laugh has grown to be one of my favorite sounds.

I roll my eyes. "Oh, whatever," I laugh too, now. When we finally catch a breath, he pulls my hair back from my face and draws me in for a kiss, smiling into it. I kiss back, quite lazily, I might add. I was tired and drained, but Mikey didn't seem to care one bit about that. That thought caused me to smile, too.

Please don't break me, the little voice in the back of my mind says. It knows that I have never been so happy. But I know, that every time something perfect comes along, life finds a way to ruin it. Depressing? Maybe, but I always was pessimistic.