Love in the Spotlight

Chapter 24: Conviction (Part 3)

A/N: Not including this Authors Note, this chapter is 81 pages long. I apologize now if you don't like extremely long chapters. Enjoy!

The sight of the flowers filled my heart with a pain I thought I didn't have the strength to feel anymore. Today was the day a jury would decide on Rob's fate. Would they brand him a murderer or label him innocent?

I reached out to feel the softness of the petals. They reminded me of his skin. Their sweet smell made me think of the night we laid out on Liz's porch after a fresh rain. The sweetness clung to his shirt as he laid beside me. The bright color reflected the brightness of his eyes and the pinkness of his lips.

Rather than make me feel joy, the flowers caused more heartache than intended.

"Oh Rob" his name slipped from my trembling lips as a tear rolled to the tip of my nose.

I'd take his place in a heartbeat if I could.

***

Rob's POV

Who was the man in the mirror?

Stubble prickled from his skin like thorns and his hair was unkempt. His eyes stung with tears he fought for the sake of his own image to keep back. His voice was thick and shook with every word.

Who was this man?

He was just a man, beaten down by the same platform that had risen him up.

The longer I stared, the more sickening the sight became.

I slipped my arms into my shirt and fastened up the buttons. I lifted my tie from the pile of clothes on the dresser and draped it around my neck.

Tears managed to squeeze past as I attempted to tie it. Normally Emma would help me with this task. She'd usually walk in just as I began and tell me I was doing it wrong. Often enough, I would be waiting for her. She'd reach up and take the tie from my hands, surely undoing whatever mess I had created.

By the time I finished, I was in full tears. I very rarely cry, but the ruins left in her absence was enough to bring me to the edge. Even the pressure of the trial seemed so little compared to the pressure I felt without her.

She knew what to say, even if what she was saying didn't touch upon the issue, she managed to soothe me. She kept me steady, even if I didn't show the signs of being unstable.

I found it hard to tell her this, but Emma was rooted so deep within me I felt lost without her here. My bed was far too big, so sleep was impossible. The food had lost its taste so I found it hard to keep anything down.

I hated this feeling. The feeling that I needed someone alongside me just so I could wake up in the the morning, but this was how I felt. It was this same indescribable feeling that fought against every lesson I was taught on how to be a man.

You were seen as less of a man if you depended on someone. I struggled with myself eternally to still hold onto my structure of a man, while also battling with this longing for her to be within the same area as me again.

Just as I finished containing my mess of hair a thought came to me.

This was her three years of torture.

This entire time I believed this was just something I was experiencing, but it wasn't. This same broken soul feeling was already felt and I was merely getting the karma effect.

Emma hurt for me. She had told me this and did her best to describe the pain she felt during those years that I was gone, but I was too blind to understand.