Behind Prison Bars

Sick Boy.

State here, me and my gf love writing (obviously i'm better than her;) ) and instead of revising for major exams, we decided to write a book and here it is, enjoy...

Epigraph;

Hate is born of Hatred, such hatred scraped from the soles of humanitie's shoes.

But this is not real hatred, but petty quarrel between different yet similar people.

Real Hatred is a lust for blood, an uncontrollable urge to drive a knife through one’s heart, pulling it out slowly and giving a sweet smile to show your satisfaction.

Hate is not evil.

It is a way of releasing negative energy, when we can't cope.

It’s how we act on this emotion which defines us as human beings.

                                                                        ~Niamh

*

Seth's P.O.V.

I stared at her and she looked back in shock, she had fallen to the kitchen floor, I released the knife coated in blood and it dropped to the ground as I stood in front of a man with three stab wounds to his heart. It was like I was in the distance, watching the scene and not living it.  

I went to help my Mom off the ground.

“Get off me” she screeched with a mixture of fear and anger raging up inside of her, I moved away and looked at her with pleading eyes. Mom turned her head away from me.

My eyes followed the floor until it met with the cold dead stare of my father.

“He’s dead” my mother wailed, I kept my eyes on my father and nodded.

“You killed him” her voice broke into a whispering sob.

I looked down at my hand which had held the knife. Ignoring all the impulses and urges to run and get as far away from the house as possible, i remained standing still.

*

I'm not a lier, i never have been, so i told the truth, i told the police every last detail.

"Setali, who killed Mr. Cohan - your father?" the police banged on the interview table in front of me.

"I did it" i mouthed the words, but no noise came out.

"For the tape, Set, who killed Officer Cohan?" the police man in front of me talked in a demeaning voice.

"I did it" i said louder "I killed my father and i'm glad i did so".

Both police officers looked at each other and smiled at how easy their case would be.

They then turned the tape off.

"You're going to swing for this, boy" the portly police officer said with a grunt.

I was a dead man walking.

That first night in the prison cell down at the station, was the darkest night i have ever experienced - not artificial light could brighten it.

I'd dug myself a hole and they were going to fill me in, i would never escape what i did.

I was a... Murderer, i tried to cry or feel remorse for my father, but i couldn't.

What scared me the most was the fact that whilst i sat in this cell on my own, i took a big sigh of relief that that man was out of mine and my Mom's life for good.

Hanging didn't seem so bad.

I always played near the hanging tree when i was a small child.

I wasn't feeling suicidal, yet at the same time i didn't care if i died, i just didn't want to be left alone with my thoughts anymore, thoughts of what could have happened, maybe what should have happened.

The anxiety made me feel sick.

At 13, i had no money to pay for a lawyer, but even if i did, it would take a hell load of money to get one to stand up for me in court, i was described by many as a 'hopeless' case.

I'd seen Mom once since the Murder, she didn't come to reassure me that she was doing everything possible to help me; no, she told me to never mention to the police what he had done to her, as it would bring her shame. Then she told me that she would not see me again and she hoped that my death be slow and painful, before spitting in my face and being dragged away from me by the prison guards.

The court day came and went, it was televised on the news i believe.

Many were disgusted by only the 20 year prison sentence i had to serve and many gathered outside the court later on, chanting for my death.

I was described by the judge as having done - and i quote 'A horrific act of cowardice against Officer Cohan, who was considered the heart of Garrington and will surely be missed by this community and his colleagues, what you have done Setali Cohan is known as cold blooded murder, you're a sick boy, i wish - like many others here, that you should hang for your evil crime, but i have considered your age - even though this is an inexcusable crime, i would not allow a child of your age to hang - 20 years' and down went his hammer.

*

Prison seemed a scary prospect to consider - as age is just a number in prisons, meaning i wouldn't be put in with kids the same age as me, but i would put with men twice my age and size, and i was quite short for a 13-year-old.

When the alarm sounded for prisoners to go back to their cells, I was quite fast and managed to get a cell on the third floor, but that was my first mistake.

I was smashed to the ground and had the crap beaten out of me for 'stealing' someone's cell, i expected someone walking up the stairs to the other cells would help me, but they walked past like bystanders - as if nothing had ever happened.

I expected guards to be dragging him off me at any moment, but they never came.

The doctors said if he would have carried on, i would have fractured my skull leading to bleeding to the brain, i wouldn't have made it through the night.

That taught me a lesson, the next day i made sure i had a knife with me at all times.

It became the only thing i could trust.

Don't let me give you the impression prison life is hell, it's not - you just need to know how to play the game.

I'm an observer, i always have been - adapt or die is my motto, so that's what i did, i had to keep surviving.

Why make mistakes when you can watch others make them and keep a mental note not to copy.

Looking back now, there are a lot of things i wish i could have changed in the last 3 years of my life, but i try not to dwell in the past, i keep an open mind and right now; i wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

It's too late for me to repent, but prison is purgatory on earth, so consider this my punishment.

Yet i still feel like something is missing, something i need, maybe this is what loneliness feels like.

But i guess i don't deserve to be happy.