Same Old Love

Paying the price

[20] I decided to go to the orphan instead of going home, one of the consequences of me leaving was that when I came, no one came running to me. "If you're looking for Hannah, she's with her family now. It's been four months since they adopted her."

"What? No....I..." Melissa shook her head at me, "No Leanne, you failed her. You left, you forgot about her. You were selfish and as much as I once considered you as a friend, I'll ask you to leave. I never expect this from you Leanne, anyone but you. At least Diego was there to console her when she was crying your name, asking why you didn't come."

"Do you know how broken she was? No you don't know, because you picked up your things when you had the chance and left. You picked up your things and left, that's so selfish and heartless you know? That's what you are, selfish and heartless. You promised her to always be her mom, but sadly you weren't there to say goodbye."

"She thought that you were giving up on her." She scoffed, shaking her head, "Diego was there to speak highly of you, lying to her and saying that you were sick and couldn't be there. Diego, is the reason why she doesn't hate you right now. Look what you did, he might be all you want, but he is the only one that was there when Hannah needed you the most."

She pinned her lips together as she stared at me hard, "I don't know how you can come here as if nothing happened, to think that you weren't even planning on coming back. Was hurting him your best option? Leaving everything behind? In that moment you thought about yourself and your forget the promise you made to the dead. Karma is a bitch you know that right? Now you must live with the consequences, now leave. I don't want you to put one foot into this orphan.  You turn your back on the kids, on Hannah. You don't deserve to be here."

"Please Melissa, don't say that. You're making me feel awful." I bit my bottom lip as tears coated my eyes, "Feeling awful won't repair what you have done to Hannah. You deserve more than just feeling awful. Hannah's parents must be shaking beneath earth, howling and crying out from the disappointment." I sniffed, the corners of my lips dropping as I stared at her in sadness. 

"Leave Leanne, you don't have anything to do here." I nodded my head at her in defeat as I walked out, "I'm sorry Melissa, I realized my mistake too late. You're right, her parents must be shaking beneath earth from the disappointment. I am too, I am disappointed in myself for what I have done. I accused Diego of breaking the promise we made and I did the same thing, leaving everything behind, thinking about myself." I wiped away my tears as I hurried my way out of the orphan and made my way toward the car, getting in.

I leaned my head back as tears slid down my cheeks, quivering as I sobbed. I did everything wrong, and now. I was paying the price, "I'm sorry Hannah, I'm so sorry." I touched the steer wheel as I leaned down, shaking my head. "Your parents must be so angry with me." I sniffed deeply, "I made a promise to them, I told them that I will be your mother, that I will take care of you and that I will always be there. I failed, I failed them, I failed you and I failed Diego. I acted out of selfishness and now I'm paying the price. Oh God, I'm so sorry Hannah."

My shoulders shook as I sobbed madly, my chest heaving up and down as my heart throbbed in my rib cage. I leaned my head between my arms, my grip on the steer wheel tightening as I cried harder.

I sniffed, glancing up as I started the engine and drove to Diego's house. I needed to talk to him, I couldn't get rid of the heavy feeling in my chest. I parked the car in front of his house and got out, rounding the car as I made my way toward the house, knocking on the door.

I trembled slightly, my lips quivering as I inhaled deeply with a sniff, exhaling softly. The door opened and Diego came into the view, "What are you doing here Leanne?" He asked serious, not a trace of playfulness in his voice and sadly, I deserve it.