Silenced

Chapter 18- No Pause Button

Chapter 18

No Pause Button

August Griffin

I squeezed my eyes shut. If I had used any more force, I doubted that they would remain.

My head was pounding. Everything was spinning. I felt like I was on drugs. And it was horrible. I rolled over in the bed. Being back in Kai's house wasn't as reassuring as I thought it would be.

I mean, I'm okay, but what about my sister? My family? This guy is a psycho. What's stopping him from hurting them? 

My heart rate slightly increased so did the pounding in my head. I held my breath for a couple of seconds before exhaling. I heard a low knock before the door opened.

Mr. Donovan appeared in the door frame and said, "Can I come in?"

I chuckled softly before saying, "Why are you asking? This is your house."

"You're right. What is the point of common courtesy?" 

I rested my hand on my forehead and closed my eyes again.

"Are you okay?" Mr. Donovan asked. 

"As much as I can be."

"I'm sorry about you getting dragged into this."

"Don't be. It's not your fault that your son is being stalked by a insane person."

He laughed a little. "Can't disagree there."

He came in and say next to me.

"Is it time for my heart to heart already?" I joked.

"Ha ha. You're a funny guy. But yes it is. So, I'll ask again."

I scoffed.

How could I be okay? A psycho is stalling me and had killed someone just to scare me. What same person would be okay?

"When I was five or six, I had a pet turtle. I loved him more than everything. And one day, I want to school and came back as usual. Then, I want to feed him and he was hiding in his shell. But he wasn't. He died. And I cried for weeks. I kept blaming myself even though it was an old turtle and died on its own. It's horrible. Feeling like it's your fault that something has happened. Taking the blame, it sucks."

"Is there a point to this story or are we just talking about a turtle that died a little more than a decade ago?" He asked jokingly.

I stated straight ahead, thinking to myself.

"Do you ever think that or just feel like it's our fault that Kai got hurt?" I asked with a soft voice after the quiet become too much to handle.

He sighed and stopped his head slightly.

"All the time. But you shouldn't." 

"I can't help it. He was with me before it happened. I let him go home alone. I shouldn't have." 

"It's not your fault. You had no idea what was going to happen. So don't blame yourself."

"That's never been a good reason. I can't help but feel like it is, even if it isn't."

"You're right. We can't help it. But we can't let it consume us."

"I love him." I whispered softly. "Some much. And it hurts knowing that he's hurting and that I can't help ."

"I know you do. If you didn't, I would be so concerned about you." He joked.

We both laughed quietly. We sat in the silence, enjoying it.

"Are you going to be okay?" He asked.

"No. But you can still go."

He chuckled shortly before standing and dusting off his pants.

"I'll order some Dominos. Is that okay? And I think I have some clothes that will fit you if you want to shower. I'll bring it in a couple of minutes."

I nodded and he left, closing the door behind him.

I felt drained, like I couldn't even move. My life had spun into a fireball. I just needed everything to slow down. I needed it to stop. Just for a minute.

If only life had a pause button. God knows that I need one.

I stood up and walked into the bathroom.

I turned on the shower, giving to water a chance to hear up while I undressed.

I felt dirty. This shower was well needed.

I hopped into the shower and stood under that hot water for a couple of minutes, washing the past few days trouble off of me.

After enjoying the hot water, I picked up one of the body washs that were in the shower and washed myself.

I got lost in my own world for a couple of minutes. I turned the water off and grabbed a towel before stepping out. I tried myself off before wrapping the towel around my waist.

I stepped outside of the bathroom and saw the clothes that Mr. Donovan spoke off. The underwear was in an  unopened package. The sweats and short were navy blue.

I pulled the clothes on. The shirt was a good fit but the sweats were loose but I didn't mind.

Opening the bedroom door, I headed downstairs. In my rush to get out, I walked right into a moving object, which of course was Kaiser.

My hands instinctively shot out to catch him.

"Shit! I'm so sorry. I didn't see you there. Are you okay?" I blurted out.

I looked down and realized that my arms were still wrapped around him. I immediately let go.

"Im sorry. I didn't realize that I Was still touching you. My bad ." I started apologizing again before I managed to shut myself up.

Kai watched me with a small smile on his face. I felt a blush creep up on my cheeks.

"Are you okay?" I asked calmly.

He nodded. I smiled softly.

I moved over letting him pass. He walked down the stairs. After he was out of sight, I banged my head against the wall.

"Im such an idiot." I whispered to myself before heading downstairs.

*******
Love This Song.

Shape Of You By Ed Sheeran.

Sorry About The Late Update. Spring Break Is Almost here Which Means More Tests.

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