Silenced

Chapter 25- Stress

Chapter 25

Stress

Kaiser Donovan

It had been a couple of weeks since what had happened in the parking lot. I hadn't seen him since which just fed everyone's belief that I had imagined him.

I placed my binder back into my locker and headed outside of the school building.

I walked to my usual spot. The seat was wet from the rain yesterday. I decided to stand instead. I looked out into the incoming cars, waiting for my father to arrive. I counted cars to pass the time. My mother and I would do it all the time. Whenever we went on a ride or were outside. We'd see who could count the most of each color and then in total. She wasn't one of those parents that would just let me win. She made me work for it. I remember  when my parents were talking about it once. My father wanted to know why she never let me win. She said that it was because you don't always win in life and even when you do, someone else is losomg so it wasn't really a victory. The memory put a smile on my face. My mother was always the philosopher.

I sighed and looked at my watch after standing for 10 minutes. I started to worry slightly, knowing that the last time that he had come late, there had been trouble at home. However, today was different because I had an appointment with Miss McCain. My father finally arrived. I guess that he could tell that I was worried because just after one look at me, he began to explain why he was late.

"I'm sorry," he said. " I got caught up at work. I didn't realize how late it was. Everything's fine."

I let out the breathe that I did not realize that I was holding. The ride to my therapist office was even slower than usual. I had this feeling of impending doom looming over me. I just couldn't shake it. The feeling worsened as we pulled into the parking lot. I stepped out of the car first, rushing to get inside. As if I was running away from it.

The office was emptier than usual. There was more than one therapist in the office so it was pretty quiet. I sat next the entrance of Miss McCain's office. My father had followed me inside and taking a seat next to me. For some reason, he always insisted on waiting for me outside of the office for the full hour. It wasn't necessary. I wish that I could tell him to go, that he didn't have to wait for me, that I'll call him when I was done. I bit the inside of my cheek knowing that I was only person holding myself back from doing it.

I wondered where the friend that I had made had gone. I have probably scared her away, with my anxiety attack and all. I Was slightly disappointed. It was nice, having someone treat me normally. Not like I was glass. But there was a reason that I was treated like that and Victoria had seen exactly what that reason was. Just as the thought went through my mind, Victoria appeared in my eyeline.

"Hi!" She said way too eagerly.

My father quickly moved out of the chair next to me, not wanting my new friend to go away. He hadn't met Victoria before even though he know I had gained a new companion. He watched our interaction intentively. He knew how asocial I was. It was a shocking moment for him really, to actually witness me with another person. It made him happy, I could tell. Victoria thanked him happily before taking his seat.

She started to ramble, much like the first time we had met. It was refreshing, listening to someone talk about anything but me. My relief didn't last long though. She finally worked up the nerve to mention what had happened the last time she saw me. Her gazed dropped and she plated with her fingers. She was uncomfortable. So was I. I hated when I became the focus of the conversation, especially if it was in relation to any of my many problems . I tried not to sigh too loudly but I think she heard me anyway.

"I just wanted to make sure that you were okay. I didn't know if I should call. Are you okay?"

I  nodded and thankfully before the conversation could go on, Ms McCain appeared.

"Kai, are you ready?" She asked.

I rushed up and walked to her room. I took my regular seat on the couch.

After settling herself, she said, "Your father told me about what happened."

My lack of response urged her to go on.

"It's normally in situations like yours for the victim to see the person that hurt them, you know."

I exhaled loudly, letting my aggravation be known. I hadn't imagined him. I wasn't crazy, he was there. I know he was.

"Kai." She said softly after a while.

I looked at her.

"I believe that you saw him. I know that you did. But it's hard to believe. Why would he return? After all this time, why now? Why didn't he engage with you? All of these questions?" She said.

My nose started to sting meaning that tears were in their way. I blinked.

I didn't know why he came back. Maybe he was just watching me. But if he was, wouldn't he have known where I was going? Wouldn't he have made sure that I hadn't seen him? But who else would've made those flyers? Why would someone else do that?

I let the doubt fill my head. It's possible that it wasn't him. That I just imagined him. I told myself that this altered memory of that day was true. He hadn't been there.

"Are you okay?"

I nodded. I was always okay. Just okay.

********
So Late. So Short. So Sorry.

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1/12/18