Carl Grimes Imagines

Imagine : Insecure

You stared at yourself in the freshly cleaned mirror, occasionally moving your hair into different places. Sighing, you shook your head. It isn't working, you thought bitterly.

Everything was perfect at the prison. There wasn't anything from the outside world that could get to you. There was fresh food, a protected place, and there was a beautiful society sprouting from the ruins. There should be no worries for you... except there was. There's always something.

Recently, you've been spending more time with Carl and the other kids around your age. Considering Rick banned the kids from the adult duties like killing walkers at the fences, there was loads more free time that you didn't know what to do with. Carl had been the answer.

You never pictured yourself in the state that you were in. Safe, protected, yet sad. There was an emptiness inside your stomach--a piece of your heart that seemed to be rotting away. You wanted to smile, but only scoffed at yourself as you put in futile effort. Things weren't supposed to be like this, things like this only happened in a world with normal teenagers. With a normal society in a normal world, but you felt in anyways. You guessed that some things were destined to never change.

You liked Carl, a lot. Much more than you ever intended to. It was only half a year ago when you thought of him as just a mutual friend. Look how far you've travelled since then--some nights not being able to sleep with the thought of him on your mind.

It didn't help that he hardly even thought of you in that way. It hurt, but what was brutal were the times that he consistently kept spending a lot of time with one of the new girls. Now that there was an actual society starting to form, things started to creep towards normal. Well, the normal that you've only known from the books that you kept stashed in your room.

So, as you stared at yourself in the mirror, you couldn't help but think of the other girl. Taylor. She seemed to be more than you ever were--in every way possible. At first you didn't let it get to you--you were who you were. But as time ticked by and you were left alone with your thoughts constantly as Carl and Taylor usually chatted beside you, you had begun to feel differently. You had begun to hurt.

A sigh escaped your lips as you covered your face with your hands, slowly making your way to the bottom bunk of the cell beds. You weren't tired, but you slipped underneath the sheets anyways, closing your eyes. The sun was still hovering in the sky outside of the prison, but you didn't care. Sleeping was your attempt at escaping your helpless thoughts and your depressed emotions. So far, as you began to drift off, it had done the trick.

--

"I'm going to ask my dad later today," Carl said, kicking the soccer ball over to you as you gnawed on your lower lip, not really paying attention to what he was saying. Although you kicked the ball back to him, you were lost in your own mind. "Y/N?" his laugh brought your out of your daze. It always could.

"Yeah?" You asked, pretending you were listening the entire time and looking back up to his eyes. They were hard to see being a few yards away, but you could still picture them. His blue eyes, the color that made you lose interest in all other varieties and types. His was the only color your wanted to look at all day.

"Were you even listening?" he gave your a knowing grin.

"Um..." you mumbled, wracking your brain as you gazed towards the sky, hoping an answer might fly into view. "Can you refresh my memory?"