Carl Grimes Imagines

Imagine : Holding On

NOTE: Y/N and Carl are around 15 in this imagine. (Let the prison live on!)

--

He wasn't the same after Lori died.

Nobody was, but you were the one who knew him the best. You never expected him to be okay, even a month after, but you never thought that he would build a wall between himself and you.

It stung at first, but you gave Carl the space he needed. He was your boyfriend, after all. Who would you be to deny the sadness that still clouded his mind? But after three months when you were still missing his presence, his smile, you began to worry.

Has he been pushing everyone away? It wasn't like you saw him talking to everyone he was around, and it didn't seem like he was hurtfully ignoring you, but it felt like it. It left you wondering what you could have done wrong. Did you say something? Were you not considerate enough?

Sighing, your feet seemed to drag against the concrete as you made your way to Carl's cell. You wanted to at least talk to him about what he was going through--you've already waited long enough.

You raked your fingers through your hair once the white curtain was in front of you. Taking a deep breath, you touched your fingertips to the cloth, but hesitated. Was that... Crying?

Your heart slowly broke as the almost inaudible sobs made their way to your ears. You knew you shouldn't, but you peeked through his curtain anyways.

He sat on the edge of his bed, palms pressed against his eyes and elbows against his knees. At this point, he was trying to maintain his breathing, sucking in shaking breaths and releasing them just to let out another strangled sob.

Your vision became blurry, and soon enough you were producing your very own salty tears. You forgot where you were--what was happening. All you could think about was the sadness Carl was going through. Losing his mother? Watching as his mother was cut open? You couldn't imagine the agony it must've been to witness a loved one go through that. You didn't want to believe that there was any sadness in him. He didn't deserve that.

Before you knew it, you had involuntarily opened the curtain. Exposing your spot behind your shield.

Deciding to make the most of your entrance, you said slowly, "Carl..."

He flicked his head up to you, trying hard to wipe his face and clear his nose. "I want you to know that--" but before you could finish the sentence, him being only a yard and a half a way, Carl interrupted you.

"Stop, I--" but he looked away, a pained expression on his face that he moved to hide behind the palms of his hands. The position he was in before. "Just stop. Go."

"But you've been--"

"Go." At first you didn't know what to say; what to do. The boy you loved wouldn't even look at you as your mouth was held agape. He didn't even want you around.

"I just want you to know that I'm here for you," you whispered, wondering if he could even hear you anymore.

Stumbling out of his cell, tears raced down your cheeks as if it were a game. Each tear would always come back as another one once your fingers brushed it away.

You didn't understand why you were being shoved away. Of course, he did need time, but how much until it's enough? When will everything find its way back together again? You know he needs you, you just have to find a way to show him that.

--

The prison was almost pitch-black at midnight, save for the windows in each cell block that leaked with moonlight.

You made sure not to disturb anyone as you tiptoed into cell block C--where Carl's cell was. Your feet were freezing from the concrete as you slipped past Carl's curtain and into his cell.

It looked awkward at night. Creepier, out of order, different. The shadows seemed heavy in the atmosphere, weighing everything down into a somber mood. You climbed into Carl's cot anyways. 

He shifted as you got settled. "Y/N?" Carl asked with confused eyes. You hummed in response, pulling the blanket over you both. "What are you doing?" 

"I'm just going to be here," you told him. "You should never be alone. Not even tonight." you rested your head against his pillow. Carl was sitting up now, facing away from you as if thinking. What is there to think about?, you thought, Does he really not want me here?

You pulled him down next to you and he didn't say anything. You hoped you were doing the right thing--he needs to know that you're going to be here for him. You cuddled next to him from the side, nuzzling your face against his shoulder. "Go back to sleep," you whispered. "I'll be here 'till morning."

You could feel Carl wrap his arm around you, hugging you closer. Later on, you could sense him drift off to sleep. You smiled as you did the same, thinking that, again, he should never be alone. 

--

Well, that's finished. It's been so long since I've updated and almost 8k reads! THANK YOU! Tell me how you liked this imagine by commenting, or just by voting. 

Life's been busy for the past few months, I hope y'all can understand. You all mean so much to me--just stay who you are, amazing ;)!

~ The Author