Carl Grimes Imagines

Happiness (2): Massacre

Thank you, @carltoncriggs for requesting this! 

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You twisted the gold band on your finger, a musty dark yellow caused from the dirt and grime of the world around you. It was nearly dark by this hour and with all the walking the group had done that day, it was about time to rest for the night.

Everyone was silent when you looked around. You assumed they were just as tired as you, although without the giant hump on their stomachs. You looked to Carl who stood near the front and frowned; he'd been distant from you for the past few weeks and you didn't know why. At first you thought it was the nerves (with the baby about to be born any day now), but whenever you talked to him about it he blew the idea off. He always said he was fine, but you knew he wasn't.

You put your hand on your stomach, not being able to believe how fast the pregnancy had gone by. It felt like only yesterday was when you told Carl about the baby, although that was nine months ago when you still lived in Alexandria and the two of you were through a year of happy marriage. Things were different now.

"Here," Rick's voice disrupted your thoughts. Everyone stopped and looked around. "We'll stay here until morning." You sighed, relieved to finally get off your feet. Others seemed to feel the same from the way they quickly found themselves sitting down or leaning against one of the trees. You looked ahead to see Carl talking to Rick and thought against moving up to them. Carl was supposed to take watch anyway.

It wasn't that you didn't want to stay with Carl, it was just that you didn't think he wanted to stay with you. There were a lot of disagreements between the two of you lately and you just had the sense that you made things worse for him. You had racked your mind as to why he was this way: the falling of Alexandria (although things were rough before then), the baby, maybe a conflict with Rick, etc. You just didn't know what it was, but you didn't want to add to it.

You sat down against one of trees, looking down at your stomach and wondering how long it'll be until the baby's out. No matter how much you were done being pregnant, you thought it best that he or she was in you for as long as possible. Alexandria was destroyed and there wasn't anywhere else to go except far from the disaster; you couldn't blame yourself for not wanting a child at the moment. Being on the move without a steady food source would not be ideal for a baby.

You gazed around once more as a few sleeping bags were set out. Some people came prepared with a few blankets and a water, but others, like yourself, didn't have anything. Usually someone offered to give up a blanket for the night. Carl would share it with you, although he's up when you go to sleep and up when you wake. It's hard to tell if he's even with you through the night.

You'd sometimes get up and talk with Enid or Maggie before you went to sleep, but you weren't feeling it. You just seemed to be upset about everything, too much to maintain a conversation with anybody. You just wanted to be alone.

There was a hole in your chest when you leaned your head back against the tree, facing away from everyone. You wondered if things would have gotten better if you were still back at Alexandria or if it would have been worse; would Carl have left you back at Alexandria? You hoped things would never escalate that far, but you didn't know. One day he could just feel different about you.

You shut your eyes and sighed, wishing time just to speed up to when Carl actually wants to talk to you and there was a place to call home for both you and the baby.

—

You woke up in the dark to shouts and a rushed voice in front of you. You couldn't make out anything, your brain still foggy from the jolt. You could only feel a light ache in your back, although you didn't know if it was from the tree or not.