Carl Grimes Imagines

Imagine: Daughter of a Monster

Thank you @Hot_Pocket_ for requesting a Carl x Negan's Daughter imagine, I hope you like it \^-^/ !!!

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It was horrific.

You stood and watched helplessly as Spencer's guts spilled out over the dark pavement, his bloodied gurgles making you want to gag. Everyone in Alexandria were out of their house by then, craning their necks without getting too close to see what scene lied before them. You couldn't do anything except stand there, like a total idiot, behind your father.

You forgot how to breathe as you looked over to Carl on his house porch, him spectating in panic and disgust with Olivia by his side. None of that was ever meant to happen--but all of it did. There was no excuse for your dad's actions that day, none of the sorry's that he would never give could make up for it. None of the acts of decency he would try and do later on back at the Sanctuary would affect you. After that day, your life seemed to change for the worst.

It wasn't like you were ever "Daddy's Girl" or that you would ever follow in your dad's--Negan's--foosteps, even after the incident. You were always different and no matter how much frustration your dad let on you, your morals would never change. He was a murderer, a killer. You would never be like him. You hated calling him your father with every fiber of your being. Even when you tried to call him by "Negan" and not "Dad", he would rage on about respect and how you should never treat your father that way. What father? you would think bitterly, your mouth glued shut, eyes always ablaze.

He was the one who terminated innocent lives, he was the one who washed off Lucille after every kill, picking brain matter out of the barbed wire, and he was the one who crushed any more moments you had with Carl Grimes. The only goodness in your life, your escape.

It was always every Thursday and Sunday the two of you would meet out in the middle of the woods, the lies you told to get there already off your tongues. Most of the time you and Carl would just talk for the hour that you had together--until a couple weeks before the deaths of Spencer and Olivia, he kissed you. You remembered how you felt on your way back to the Sanctuary, it was the way Carl always made you feel, although about a million times better. Not even your dad could change your mood that day--you even stayed up through most of the night just thinking about how it felt, wishing he was there with you to kiss you again.

Shamelessly, that was what the two of you ended up doing for half the time after that. Until you just--didn't. Until Carl, the day after Alexandria's two unexpected deaths, didn't show up. And the time after that, and then after that.

It'd been two weeks since Carl didn't show up. Two weeks since you gave up any minuscule amount of hope you had left for Negan, but one week since you realized that Carl would never be coming to meet you again. You knew he hated Negan, but not since Glenn and Abraham's fatality had he equally blamed you for your dad's actions. That was before you even met and before you sought out Carl in the woods and let all your apologies, explanations, and justifications off your chest. It had been only churning inside of you, waiting to be released. Waiting to be heard.

If Carl wasn't going to meet you, that meant he didn't want to hear what you had to say. At first you thought he just needed a day or two to regroup and you would deal with it together, but that wasn't the case.

You didn't know what to do as you sat against one of the trees in the woods on another lonely Thursday. You held back a few tears as you remembered a conversation that you two had--probably sitting against the very same tree you were.

"He wants me to learn how everything goes at the Sanctuary," you confessed, your head resting against his chest as you spoke, playing with Carl's hand to try and distract yourself from your words. "The rules and stuff for when it's my turn to take control," you paused, squeezing your eyes shut. "Do you know what he wants to do to train me?" you whispered.