I Think That You May Be The One (Book 1)

The Way I Was

*Adam's pov

It's been a week since I almost killed Gianna. Danny went home this morning, I even personally drove him to the airport with Gianna. Now we were sitting on her couch. She lounged there in jeans and a tank top. The first "real clothes", as she puts it, she's worn since the accident. She talked animatedly on the phone with her mother as I watched. She looked much better, and she admitted to feeling much better. I smiled and rubbed her feet. She laughed and covered the phone, "stop" she mouthed. I grinned and continued ignoring her causing her to laugh. It's funny, it feels like we're dating but we're not. She's so easy going and she easily keeps me in line. I need someone like her to keep me in line on tour, I'm all over the place. She laughed louder and caught herself, "mom I gotta go, I'll call you soon" she said stifling a laugh. I smirked as she hung up. She tried to pull her feet back but I grabbed them. "No!" She squealed but I pulled her closer letting her feet dangle over the couch. "So, what do you want to do today?" I asked. "Go to work" she said. She's been asking all week, "nope closed" I grinned. "Evil" she said glaring with a playful smile. I smirked and found her feet and tickled them. She laughed and tried to pull away but I held her tight. She laughed and wiggled until she was on my lap and out of breath. I watched her eyes sparkle as they looked into mine. "Uh how about the mall I need some things" she said getting up.

She did that every time, we'd get close and she'd pull away ruining my chance to tell her how I felt. Not today, I'm done playing games, "I love you Gianna" I said and she stopped in her tracks. I regretted it once I saw her face. I couldn't tell if she was happy or angry. "What?" She asked. "I love you" I whispered standing in front of her. She stared, speechless? Disgusted? I couldn't tell. "Gianna?" I asked when she wouldn't say anything. She turned on her heel and silently ran into her room. "Shit" I mumbled. I followed her to her room and knocked on the door. "Gianna?" I asked my hand on the doorknob. No answer. I turned the doorknob slowly and was grateful it opened, I didn't want to beg through a locked door, I wanted to hold her tight. "Gianna?" I said again sitting beside her on the bed. "Why?" She asked. She didn't say anything else, she simply questioned me. "Why do I love you?" I asked confused. "Yes, why?" She asked again. Well this was better than the silent treatment. "You're gorgeous, smart, a hard worker, funny, mysterious, and special" I said honestly. She let out a short harsh laugh, "ha! I'm far from gorgeous, I'm so far from funny it's insane, and mysterious? I'm not a magical creature you read about in books" she challenged. "You are gorgeous, I love the way your eyes sparkle when you laugh, I love the way your hair curls ever so slightly, in perfectly bouncy waves. I love your tiny frame, and the way you dress, it's sexy" I smirked. "Ugh, first of all no. Second of all, tiny? Adam I'm fat" she said sitting up to finally face me. "Where are you fat?" I asked truly curious. She poked at her stomach, hips, thighs, and butt, "take your pick" she sighed and I realized this was more of her past that bothered her, but what was it exactly. "I really don't understand your idea of fat, you are tiny" I said still trying to wrap my head around the comments she was making at her own expense. "Have you even seen your ex-girlfriends? Trust me I'm fat" she said.

And there it was. "Gianna, look at me, if I wanted to date bones I would continue to date models" I started but she interrupted, "Adam" she sighed. "Gianna, okay so who cares if they're thinner than you, they work out more than I do! Hell more than I did before I turned to yoga. And I worked out a lot" I said. "Gianna, they work really hard to get that way, they constantly watch what they eat, eating next to nothing sometimes and work out for hours because their body is their job. You have an excellent mind, that’s where your job is. I don't care if you're not an extra extra small or a triple zero, that doesn't look healthy. If I really wanted that I would go hunt down another model, but I don't! Don't you get it, there is nothing else to them. It's fun for a while but it boils down to nothing. With you we have something in common, work. We can carry on a conversation about anything. I love you because you are nothing like any of the women I've dated. You are well rounded, you can do it all and still have a killer body. I fell in love with you because you make me laugh and you're smart. I find that incredibly sexy. You're not scared to challenge me at work and you make me better at what I do because of it. I know you're still working on moving on from Keith and I don't expect you to love me even remotely like you did Keith but I do expect you to love yourself. You are beautiful just the way you are" I said cupping her face in my hands. Her eyes watered and she tried to pull away. "You don't get it, I used to work out 5 hours a day sometimes more depending on my work schedule, in high school. I was fat, I mean fat fat, not like this. I was bullied so bad I was making myself sick. Finally one summer I gave up. Nothing I did worked. I barely ate and worked out every second I could and nothing changed. I had surgery to get the body I always wanted, a body I was comfortable in. I went to school that fall and the bullying continued, not because I was fat but because I had surgery to get thin. But I didn't do it for anyone, I did it for me."