imagines; c. d & s. m

S. M. 》 Not His Only

Listen to Ariana Grande's song "Just A Little Bit of Your Heart." That song is djskensiajeh *cries*

Second part will be
"The Scientist"

My book, His Fangirl
was now published, it is about Shawn Mendes. I only posted one part so I hope you guys will like it and support my book ♥ soon if I'm done on that, I'll be publishing a book about Cameron Dallas. Anyways, bai ♥

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Laying down on bed right now with my knees on my stomach, it's so hard for me to know that it's already midnight and Shawn is not still home. I know he is with another girl again.

It's so hard for me which one to choose. My mind or my heart. My mind says, you should leave, he doesn't love you. But my heart says, you still love him right? Then stay, if you love him.

I don't know which to choose. I love Shawn so much and I don't even know if I can leave him. He made me fall in love to him so hard.

Hot tears fell down on my soft pillow as I waited for Shawn to get home. I can't sleep without him, but I got used to ever since I found out that he's already cheating on me.

Call me crazy, but I don't care. Some people were asking me, then why don't you leave him? Why don't you break up with him? I don't know what to answer and it's never that easy to answer.

Shawn Mendes was the guy I've been dreaming for and I just can't forget him like that. He's my everything and I love everything about him. His voice, his smile, his laugh.... I just can't.

Sighing, I can't even believe myself that I'm still here in his house, waiting for him and loving him than staying in my own house and start forgetting him.

Is it because I love him too much? I shook my head as I heard the door shut downstairs. Finally, he's home. I heard the footsteps became near so I quickly wiped my tears off and closed my eyes, pretending that I'm sleeping.

The lights kinda blind me, but it's a sign that Shawn is already inside. He closed the door as my nose smelled a strong perfume of a girl, causing my nostrils to hurt of its strong smell.

I looked at him with my eyes half opened and he started removing his black coat, revealing another O shaped on his neck, another hickey from a girl. I sighed quietly at the sight of him.

Warm tears start to form again in my eyes, I'm not his only, I thought. He changed his clothes as I felt the bed on my left side, sank in. He shifted and placed his arm around my waist causing me to bite my lip, trying not to sob. I shut my eyes hardly and my breath is uneven from the sobs inside me.

Just a little bit of his heart is all I want, is all I'm asking for. Then why he can't give it to me? It's better to have a little than having nothing.

My eyes opened slowly as I felt no more arm around me. I looked beside me to see an empty space. I sighed and I'm used to this. I sat down and I felt cold air hit my stained cheek fron last night.

Sniffing as I get out of the bed to take a shower before eating my breakfast as I decided to leave him. It's only my choice. He can't even love me then why would I stay?

After doing everything, packing and eating my breakfast, I'm ready to leave. I left him a note which I hope makes him guilty of what he had done.

Shawn,

I just want to say I loved you more than anything. I don't even know if you did too, but I know you love someonelse because I knew you're going home late and I don't feel to ask you where you've been. I know you're just with her and I'm still in your house, being a fool to you. I loved you Shawn, I really did.

But, all you did is to break my heart into pieces that is hardly to count. You can't even love me back, Shawn and don't you think it's too hard for me? It's hard for me to know that instead of giving me hugs or kisses when you got home, all you do is cheat on me and it's so hard for me, Shawn. Don't you realize it?

I'm a human, Shawn and I have feelings too. I just want to know if you can't be loyal. Because if you can't, then you'll no longer find the right girl for you.

Shawn, is it hard for you to love me back? Is it hard for you to go home early and spare some time with me? Is it hard for you to take me on a nice dinner and have a fun time with me?

Is it too much to ask for? Love is all I need from you, Shawn. Not anything else, but it seems you can't even give it to me.

Now, you're free and you can do all what you want. Go and flirt with some other girls, no one will stop you because you're no longer mine and I'm no longer yours.

From,
Y/N

Last note and I'm now leaving. I take a look around the house before leaving, I'm gonna miss this place. Especially, Shawn.

I closed the door with my suitcase and backpack. I throwed all of our pictures and I even left the things that Shawn gave me.

Shawn Mendes, I've loved you, but staying wasn't the right thing to do so I had to leave.

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VOTE PWEASEEEE ♥

-Y