imagines; c. d & s. m

emotionless 》 C. D.

Love, love, love is all I can think about. Why? I just couldn't find it in Cameron. This month, he changed. He changed quickly in a single snap of my fingers. Maybe it's because he's fed up on trying to make me happy since when we first met until now because I'm suffering depression? It wasn't that easy. Through my life, Cameron was the only one who helped me through out despite my friends. Depression wasn't that easy to escape. It would just come back and come back that's why sometimes I'm scared of being happy too much.

Was he tired of making me happy? And most of all, does he still loves me? We've been together for one year and a half and I think he's getting sick of it. Maybe someone was already making him happy than I could ever do. Maybe all I'm giving him was headache and making his shoulders heavy. I never took Cameron for granted, ever. I love him for who he is and I owe him my life for making me this happy than before. Back then we first met, I was completely depressed. My body was always tired and I can't do much since I feel sick. Then he asked me on a date and as we go on, I've never been that happy in my life.

I was still wondering if he still feels the same you know? How he felt when we kissed. How he felt when we touched. How he felt when we look at each other's eyes and how he felt when I say those three lovely words back to him. But now,we barely touch nor talk to each other like a normal couple does. Snapping out of my thoughts, I grabbed my phone and check my snapchat. I checked other's stories especially our  fans and sending them 'ily' back when they send me some video clips of them saying something sweet or simple 'ily'. But then, something caught my eyes. Mine ♥.

I pressed it, showing Cameron and a picture of his friend, Taylor. I smiled as I saw how perfect Cameron was while smiling. My heart was melting at the sight of him, hoping I would see it in front of my face knowing that I'm the reason as well. The smile on my face disappeared at the thought of it. His next snapchat was him, posing as the photographer take pictures of him. I'm lucky for having him and I don't want to lose him, but maybe this time I will. My heart stopped when the next one came. A girl who I assumed was not a stylist or what so ever, came to him and seductively smiled at him while her hands were crawling to his bare chest and Cameron was smiling at her. Is it Taylor who's filming it? I'm pretty sure she's not a model either because the photographer wasn't even there in front of them. And that hit me like a truck. Something inside me feels like somebody's pulling my heart.
Right after I saw that scene, I called Taylor and he quickly answered.

"Hello? (Y/N)? What's up?" He asked.

"Uhm hey Taylor, I was wondering who's the girl-" I was cut off by him saying 'yeah' six times. My eyebrows knotted and waited for his answer as I can hear him shifted on his seat.

"Cameron wants me to hide this from you, but I don't want to be a liar (Y/N) because I know you trust me well-" he sighed before continuing his sentence. I felt like my heart stopped beating for a second.

"I know Taylor and I thank you for that but please, Taylor. Spit it out," I said through the phone, my voice became shaky as I heard him sighed once more and there you go, he said it.

"They're more than friends, more like a couple. Cameron's been hiding it from you for weeks now. He told me he met this girl online and find her hot. You know me well right? If I found a girl that's hot, I'll probably do the same thing just like he did, but I won't do that if I have a girlfriend. Jesus, he's so stupid, the girl's purpose was only his money." He sighed and I could tell he's massaging his forehead with his fingers.

"Oh.. o-okay," I said and tears flow down through my cheeks like a waterfall. My mind was fogged up with dark thoughts as I started to realize I'm thinking about dying again. I covered my mouth so my sobs won't come out and I can't breathe properly. Taylor was calling my name through the phone nonstop and asking me if I'm okay. I'm shaking, I feel like somebody's holding my neck firmly, my breathing patterns weren't normal. It feels like I can't breathe and with that, I collapsed on the floor in my living room.