Fake Love (Jerrie Fanfiction)

Chapter 31

Jade's POV

"You're not my girlfriend!"

I stand there dumbstruck, unable to speak, unable to move. It's like the world has stopped moving, everything was frozen. Silence. All I can hear was the pounding of my heart inside my chest. I even stopped breathing. The coldness in her eyes, something I have never seen before, it scares me. My eyes started to water again. My chest hurts, and I'm sure it's not because of the rapid pounding of my heart. And I'm actually surprised that it's still beating. I can't stay here. I can't look at her. I need to go, now! This woman in front of me, cold and distant, is not the woman I fell in love with. And it's obvious that we're not mutual. But my body is fucking not working! I closed my eyes, took a deep breath that I knew I was holding, and tried to regain control of my body.

When I was able to move, I run. I need to get out of here. Away from that embarrassing scene. Away from her. I run passed the people, who might have seen what happened. Worry and sympathy were evident in their faces, but I don't need any of that. I heard Jesy called for me, but I don't fucking care. I can't turn around, I can't go back there. I need to go. I run to my car, almost stumbling down the side walk. I soon as I entered, I turned on the engine and drove off.

I can't fucking believe it. After what happened between us, I thought we feel the same. She was the one who came to me. So that was just a mistake, a drunken mistake. Fuck the alcohol! I let the tears fall, I can't stop them now. They are the evidence of this fucking heartbreak that I brought onto myself. Dammit! I'm such an idiot. Stupid enough to believe that what we have was real when it was all pretending in the first place. My eyes were blurry, but I continued to drive. I don't care if I crash, I'm shattered anyway.

~~~

I arrived at my apartment, silently thanking the Gods that I was safe. I went to the living room and sat down the couch. I should run to the bedroom, throw myself on the bed and cry. But my room will only remind me of her, her eyes, her lips, her face, her body. It will only remind me of how she felt against me, her touches, her heat, her soft skin, her moans. Fuck! I should forget that, but I don't think I can. That was the moment I felt most alive in years. And with everything we did together since the start, she made me feel, made me believe, she made me fall in love with her. But I guess she don't feel the same. She run away, she left me, and now she's with that prick. I lost her before I even have her. I would have done anything for her, give everything to her. But I guess I will never have the chance to do that. All I want is for her to be happy, and even if it was not with me. I'll accept that, it was my fault I'm in this mess anyway.

Tears continued to fall, I lay down the couch and put my hands over my chest. It hurts so much. I never thought I'd feel this pain again. The pain of losing someone you love so dearly. The last time I felt so broken was when my brother died. I promised myself that I will never let myself get hurt again. But look where I am now. Curled up in the couch, crying my eyes out. I built walls around me to protect me. I made it work for years, I never let myself fall for anyone. It helped me survive. Then she came crashing and broke my walls down. I chuckled at the thought. The funny thing about it was that I let her. Now, I was alone, she left me without even looking back. I know this pain will haunt me for a very long time, and I bet she was just fine. I felt so weak, I closed my eyes, hoping I can sleep through this. God, what did I do to deserve this?

~~~

I woke up the next morning, the sun rays hitting my face through the windows. I groan as I tried to stretch my body, making a mental note that sleeping on the couch is a bad idea. I stood up after while and went to the kitchen. There I found Leigh-Anne preparing two cups of tea.

"Morning, Poopey!" she greeted me.

"Hey, Leigh." I said with a small smile. She smiled back but there's worry in her eyes.

"Here, I thought you might need a cuppa." she hand me the cup as I sat down the stool beside her.

"Jesy called me, she told me what happened." she said after a few seconds of silence. I just sighed.

"Tell me what's wrong, Jade." she cooed at me, her eyes not leaving me.

 "You were right. I knew there's a possibility that this would turn badly. But I didn't listen to you." I scoffed.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I fell in love with her, Leigh. I'm in love with Perrie." I breathe out, face palming myself.

"Ohh, Poopey... I'm so sorry." she said and then put an arm over my shoulder, slightly rubbing it.

"I should've listened to you. But I, being the stubborn and hard headed me, didn't. So now, we're here." I chuckled, sarcasm filled my voice.

"Wait... she don't feel the same?" she asked confused. No, she obviously don't.

"I don't know. It don't feel like it." I replied, looking down.

"But, you two... You both looked so into each other. We saw it, Jesy and I, we saw it every time." she explained. God, I wish I could believe that!

"That's what I thought too. I thought we were mutual after what happened..." I trailed off, remembering our precious night together.

"What happened?" she asked, turning my head so she can see my face.

"We slept together." I frowned.

"You two... have sex? Oh my gosh! How was it?" she cheered with a goofy smile on her face.

"Leigh... Really?" I rolled my eyes at her and she immediately dropped her smile.

"I'm sorry. Go on.." she gestured me to continue.

"I don't know, Leigh. I don't know what to believe anymore. These are all so fucked up." I said with resignation.

"What are you planning to do now?" she asked, hesitation evident in her voice.

"Well, I don't think I can continue doing it." I sighed, and sipped my tea.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she questioned.

"I don't know if I can handle seeing her without breaking down. I love her, Leigh. The fact that she don't feel the same hurts so much, and I know I can't do anything about that." I looked back down again.

"So..." she demanded me to continue. I took a deep breath and finally deciding on the only thing I can do.

"I'm going to terminate the agreement." I breathe out. 

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I don't mean to break your hearts. My heart is breaking too.😢 Please leave a comment, and vote if you liked this chapter. Thanks loves! 💋

- R xx