Losing Time (boy x boy) [COMPLETED]

Chapter Eight

I tell Julia about the situation. She looks sadly at me. She's silent during my explanation. My voice cracks several times near the end.

"Jaxon, I'm so sorry."

"He was a good man."

"I know."

"He died because of me. Because he loved me," I say morosely.

"He died because he wanted you to live. He loved you, so it was all he could do." She pats my shoulder.

"And I couldn't even return his feelings."

"That's not your fault."

"Whatever. I need to sleep a little."

"Just remember, he did it out of love, not obligation."

"Yeah." I go to my room and close the door. I let the tears fall as I press my face into the wood.

"What's wrong?" a voice asks. I yelp and spin around. Devon's sitting on my bed with a concerned expression.

"Devon, you scared the crap out of me!"

"Sorry," he replies, though his face shows otherwise. "Well?"

"Do you remember Dylan?"

"Dylan Foresster?"

"Yeah. He's...dead. Because of me."

Devon raises an eyebrow. "Explain." I tell him, leaving out the fact that he loved me.

"That's not your fault, Jax."

"That's what Julia said, but...you wouldn't understand."

"I wouldn't understand? Jax, I went through the same thing when they took you. Trust me, it's not your fault."

I hold the rest of my tears in. "I've never dealt with this before," I whisper.

"Just let it out. You'll feel better after." And I do. I let out a scream of anguish, the force of my grief sending me to my knees. Devon wraps his arms around me and I sob into his shoulder.

Right now, it doesn't matter that he rejected me. It doesn't matter if he loves me or not. It's only about Dylan's death. It's only about my grief.

I'm glad Devon's here. I need the comfort, whether or not I'll admit it. He never says a word, just shushing in my ear while he rubs my back. After a while, my sobs cease. Then, I fall asleep in his arms, drained.

~*~

I wake up alone, the grief lurking at the back of my mind. I know I need to let it out, but I don't have the time. Dylan died to help me find my sister, so I won't let his death be for nothing. I keep my face blank as I go down into the prison level.

I walk into Montgomery's cell and stare at him. "Hello, uncle," I sneer.

"Oh. I wondered when I'd be interrogated. You see, I didn't get much sleep last night in this terrible place. Can we do this tomorrow?"

"Do you think this is a game?"

"I don't know. Is it?"

Before I can respond, Julia comes in. "Hey, Jax. Need some help?"

"'Hey, Jax. Need some help?'" Montgomery imitates.

"Excuse me," I say. I stalk over to him and punch him, bare-nuckled, in the face. "Sorry about that. Yes, help would be nice. What do you have in mind?"