Losing Time (boy x boy) [COMPLETED]

Chapter Nine

I feel like I'm going crazy. Having memories randomly appearing sucks. I never know when they'll come or what they'll be about. I don't know if I'll be sad, happy, or angry when one comes.

"Jaxon, I'm not a psychologist."

I groan. "Yeah, I know. But it's driving me nuts!"

"What do you want me to do about it?" Julia asks.

"I don't know. I just need to rant."

"Well, you've done that."

I drop into a chair and sigh. "I hate this."

"I know. But I can't help you."

"Then just be my friend. I just need someone to listen to me."

"Of course I'll listen! Jaxon, you know I will!" She squeezes my hand. "But understand this: if I feel Devon needs to know, I'll tell him."

"I understand. But why?"

"Because he loves you. And he's my friend, too."

"He doesn't love me."

She smacks the back of my head. "He does love you, idiot."

"He doesn't or he wouldn't have pushed me away!"

"That's why he did. He loves you so much he's afraid of making the poison spread. Also, he blames himself for your capture so he's afraid of losing you. He doesn't want to hurt you, but he feels as if he has to, to save you."

The pain in my heart is too much. Tears fall down my face. "If he loved me, he'd be hurting as much as me! And he shouldn't be able to stand the pain of being apart from me, like me to him," I whisper. I stand up, failing to wipe the tears off my face. "He doesn't love me, or he'd be here next to me while I grieve for a comrade!"

I run out the door, trying to stifle my sobs. I slam into someone, but they catch me before I fall. I look up to see Devon with tears on his cheeks.

"Do you really feel that way?" I struggle to get out of his grip, embarrassed that he heard. "Do you?"

I give up my struggle. "Yes."

He tilts my chin up until I'm staring into his eyes. "Jax, I do love you. So much. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm just...so afraid."

"So that gives you an excuse to be an ass?" My voice is quiet.

"No, it doesn't. I've been an ass and I'm so sorry." He cups my cheek and I can't help but lean into his hand. "I left you alone when you needed me most. I love you, Jax. Can you ever forgive me?"

I sigh into his palm. "Of course. I can't stay mad at you. But you'll have to make it up to me."

"How? I'll do anything."

"Figure it out." I leave him standing there as I return to my room. I fall asleep quickly, exhausted from the day's adventures.

~*~

The next day includes torturing Montgomery. He's still not breaking and I'm starting to get impatient. I NEED to find Lisbeth. I need to save her before it's too late.

My phone begins ringing and I'm confused. The only ones who have my number are Julia (who's with me), Devon (also with me), and...

"Oh, god," I say. Dylan was the only other one. I hesitantly answer. "Hello?" I ask shakily. Devon mouths 'who is it' but I simply shake my head.

"J-Jaxon," Dylan says. My eyes widen. "Jaxon, I need to tell you something."

"Dylan?" Is it really him? I've never heard him sound like this.