My Mad Doctor

Chapter 15

Doctor’s P.O.V.

My heart stopped. Shock coursed through my veins like blood, soon followed by grief. Logic forced my eyes back up to angel, though, before it could kill me. I forced the tears in my eyes to dry so that nothing would interfere with my vision. I would do Violet no good back in the past without my TARDIS.

The angel froze its advance, its arms stretched out towards me. It was closer than I thought. It still astounded me, how fast they moved. I would consider them beautiful if it wasn’t for what they did to Amy and Rory. Now they just sickened me.

“Stop it. Stop this!” I shouted at it. Realistically, I knew that it wouldn’t respond, but I was so ridden by grief I couldn’t think straight. I knew she wasn’t dead, but she could have been sent anywhere. What if she was in danger? What if she landed on a minefield, or in the middle of a street?

“Where did you send her?” I asked venomously, not taking my eyes off of it. They were growing dryer from not blinking, but I knew what would happen if I did. I’d be just like Violet. Gone.

“Where did you send her?” I screamed. People were probably staring at me, but I didn’t care. Let them talk about the crazy man shouting at statues.

The angel, of course said nothing. I stared and stared until I felt that my eyes were on fire. The longer I stood there, the more I thought about Violet. She could be in serious danger.

Suddenly, a thought came to me. It was a mad idea that would surely get me killed. Still, it was the only way to find her. There was a chance it could work. It worked for Amy, so why couldn’t it work for me?

“Take me too.” I mumbled, then repeated it louder. The creature stared blankly at me, and I knew that it couldn’t do anything until I looked away.

“Take me to her.” I whispered.

I closed my eyes.

Wind rushed through my hair, but the blackness never came. I opened my eyes slowly, unsure where I was. Did it send me to the right time? Where was Violet? Was I too late?

When I opened my eyes, though, I found myself on the same street I was before. The same people stood staring at me in confusion. I wasn’t in the past.

The angel spared me.

Why? Why would it let me go? Every other person that I loved who faced them was taken or scarred by them in some way. I almost felt insulted that I wasn’t worthy of being sent back.

Of course, I got over that foolish thought in seconds and focused on how to find Violet. I had no idea what year she was in or where in the universe she was. I could search everywhere, but she’d be long dead if I managed to get the right time.

Seeing nothing better to do, I decided to take a walk downtown. Walking never used to clear my head, but this problem was so big I couldn’t think yet. I needed more time. How ironic; a Time Lord needing more time.

After wandering aimlessly amongst the shops and wonders of London, I found myself in my least favourite place.

The graveyard.

I hated everything about it. The calm, quiet tone of the place, the crying people praying next to the stones that represent the ones they lost, the stale smell of the dying flowers; everything. They represent endings. The final ending. I hate endings.

As I wandered through the rows of stones, I thought about all my past endings. The hardest part about living forever was saying goodbye so many times. I hated that it got harder and harder to remember those who I used to love. Even the image of Gallifrey slips from my mind sometimes, and I have to focus really hard to get it back. Some of my first companions are hazy in my mind, and that scares me. It’s terrifying to think that one day Amy, Rory, Rose, Donna- all my friends- could just disappear from my mind.

The recent ones hurt the most, though. It was strange, remembering Rose, Donna and Martha in my current regeneration. I wasn’t the same man as when I loved them, but I had the same memories. Rose was the worst, though. Some days, she was all I thought about. Her bravery, beauty, the way she was able to make a joke in the most dangerous of times, how she never blamed me for putting her in danger and how much I loved her. Other times, though, I don’t see her at all. She’s completely gone from my mind, but when I do remember her, I feel guilty, as if I betrayed her somehow. She wouldn’t have blamed me, though. That’s the worst part. I forget about her daily, but she could be thinking of me every second.

Still, she had the meta-crisis doctor to keep her company. She probably didn’t think of me at all. Why would she when she had him? He was just like me, but aged like her. It was the perfect situation. That thought let some of the guilt off my shoulders about forgetting her.

My thoughts were interrupted when I tripped, rather ungracefully, over a tombstone. I fell to the ground, holding in a few choice words. Some stray grievers sent me funny looks, but I ignored them.

Groaning, I sat up and rubbed my neck. When I opened my eyes, I noticed the tombstone that I’d tripped on. Everything around me froze in that moment. A loud ringing filled my ears, and a rage so intense it nearly blinded me filled my head. The words, perfectly engraved in the cold, nearly faded stone, sent a shock through my heart.

Violet Grace. Unknown – October 17, 1914. Died in Battle. No known family.

They didn’t even know when she was born. How could they? She died before she could even establish herself in the community. It must have been days after the angel touched her, if not hours. She died in battle. 1914. What happened in 1914?

The Great War.

She’s dead. She died, probably scared out of her mind, almost 100 years ago and I wasn't there to stop it. 

No, I thought. I won’t let that happen. Time can be rewritten, and I will rewrite it.

I ran to my TARDIS without looking back.

A/N Hello fellow Wattpadders, thank you for reading. Here's some Eleven/Rose feels for you :) What do you think is going to happen next? Leave a comment and you might just get a dedication from yours truly.