My Mad Doctor

Chapter 31

A/N I'm only posting this since one of my BIGGEST fans asked me to update early and I'm feeling sympathetic today. 

I must say, this won't make you feel much better, but I hope it at least relieves some of the suspense. 

Violet's P.O.V

“Doctor?” I breathed, my eyelids fluttering shut. My stomach felt wet and warm. The pain was there, though. It was always there. The cyber tech, however, was gone. I was free once more. 

“No, no, no, you are not leaving me, Violet Grace!” He shouted, his eyes darting back and forth between my wound and my face. I could see the gears turning in his head as he frantically tried to find a solution when we both knew there wasn't one.

“I’m dying.” I stated sadly, closing my eyes. I felt his hands gripping my face, his hot breath tickling my nose.

“Don’t you dare say that. You aren’t dying. I can fix this.” I wanted to believe him. The Doctor always saved me. How could this time be different? Even as I thought these ridiculous things, I knew they weren’t true. I could tell the Doctor knew this also.

“You can’t fix everything.” I whispered. My words turned into a serious of wet coughs. I felt the Doctor stiffen, and I knew I had to do something to ease his pain.

“Doctor,” I started, forcing my eyes open. I would not lose this chance to look into his eyes. “Is there a heaven?” Fear slipped into his eyes at the distant sound of my voice.

“I hope so, Violet. I hope so,” was his response. I smiled, but inside I was shaking in fear. I didn't want to die. Not now. Not yet.

“Are there books there? Will I be able to write?” I asked, holding back another fit of coughs. The Doctor smiled slowly, but I could see tears forming in his eyes.

“Yes, Violet. There’re plenty of books. I’ve heard that there’s a giant library where the roof touches the sun and the books inside have no end. You can read and read for all of eternity.” His words calmed me, as they always did.

“That sounds lovely.” I mumbled, feeling distant from my body. The Doctor’s eyes widened in concern as my eyes fluttered close.

“No, Violet, you’re not dying on me. I promised that I’d keep you safe. Remember Charles Dickens? We were going to go meet him. What about Shakespeare? I promised that I’d take you to them.” His voice cracked, and for the first time since the first night we met, I saw the Doctor vulnerable.

“Doctor,” I whispered with a small smile on my face. “My sweet Doctor. My kind Doctor. My mad Doctor. I’m going to miss you.”

That was all it took. His head fell onto my chest and a sob escaped his body. This was the saddest I’ve ever seen him, and I hated that I was the cause of it.

“I’ll write about you, Doctor.” I stated, holding back my tears. I couldn't cry. I needed to be strong for him. “When I’m in heaven, after I’ve left you, I’ll find a pencil and some paper and I promise I’ll write all about you. I’ll write down our adventures; how you showed me the stars, how we saved the world a thousand times, and mostly how you opened my eyes to something I’ve never had in my life before.”

“What’s that?” He asked with a shaky breath. My lip trembled as a smile took over my face, this time a genuine one.

“Love.” I responded. He sent me a tear filled grin before lowering his lips to mine. It was gentle and slow and I loved every second of it. When he pulled back, my face was wet with tears.    

A sharp pain struck my stomach, and I cried out. The Doctor was hovering over me, his face torn with concern.

“Violet?” He asked, but I was already slipping.

“Quite right, too: me dying.” I stated sadly. “We never had a future together. Not a real one, anyways.” He gripped my hand like it was a lifeline. I guess it was, for me anyways.

“Don’t say that. Don’t you ever say that this is right. We could have had a life together.” He argued desperately.

I chuckled dryly, squeezing his hand.        

“What, traveling the stars until I died of old age?” I asked. The idea was so mad even I couldn't picture it.

“We could have settled down. I would have-”

“No.” I whispered softly. “You wouldn't survive settling down. You would be bored out of your head, living life the slow way; enduring every hour of every day for the rest of your life without running away. You’d hate it.”

He put his forehead against mine and looked into my eyes.

“It would be worth it if I was with you.”

It was my turn to sob.

I opened my mouth to respond, but the pain was too much. I winced, clutching my side. My breaths became shorter, and I started to panic.

“Doctor, I’m not- I don’t want to-” My eyes were wide in fear, and it was his turn to be strong to me.

“Sh, it’s okay. Think of the library. Think of you and me in the library. You’re reading me a book, one that you wrote. The sun is shining through the windows and the fire is crackling behind the shelf. It’s a beautiful day, but you’ve dragged me inside to read. Typical.” I laughed at his words, forcing the cough to stay inside my throat. I didn't want anything to ruin this moment, especially not dying.

“Think of us in the library, us getting married, us living the rest of our lives together. I’m right here, Violet Grace. I’m here.”

My body felt more and more distant as his words reached my ears. His voice was soft, calming all of my fears.

“Don’t forget me… Doctor.” I stuttered. It was getting harder to breathe, but I wasn’t fighting anymore.

A drop hit my cheek and I knew The Doctor was crying again. I wanted to say something to reassure him, but I was falling.

“I love you, Violet Grace,” he said quietly, kissing my forehead. I wanted to respond, but I was already gone.

His face was the last thing I saw and I couldn't help thinking that, if I had to die, this was a pretty fantastic way to go. He was worth dying for.