Overthinking It || j. m. (UNDER CONSTRUCTION)

5.

Chapter 5

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My life was an honestly just an embarrassment. I should really just go live under somebody's stairs because really, it's getting ridiculous.

Laying on top of James, I didn't know exactly what to feel. Obviously it was like heaven sprinkled some magic dust on me to bring me this close to him, but then again it felt like hell had shot up some evil fire to defer me from my gradual noticing I planned to carry out. My voice was non-existent as I just lay there, not moving, after another time of incredibly bad luck befell me. But out of my misfortune something amazing became of it- I was able to breathe in the intoxicating aroma of James' cologne that invaded my nostrils and I could even feel his breath on my lips from our close proximity. Except I felt like an idiot just waiting for him to say something because I certainly wasn't going to speak first. What was I supposed to do when I was this close to someone I've always been so far from? Over and over in my head I kept repeating 'For once in my life, be cool!' but I knew that that wouldn't happen.

"What the fuck are you doing on me?" James grumbled to me from his position below me. He didn't seem angry or appalled, it was more like an annoyed murmur. When I fell my arms coiled up so that they were the only things separating our chests.

"Sorry, it was an accident," I said softly and not meeting his eyes as I move my hands to either side of his head to get up. I should've told him that it was his fault we fell, but I wasn't going to do that. After all, I was finally this close to him and I didn't want to ruin his already tarnished image of me.

As I rose up from his body, I finally looked into his eyes and saw that they were curiously staring at me like he was trying to figure something out. His slight lips parted slightly as if he were going to say something, but then he closed his mouth quickly and looked towards the door of the classroom where a gasp escaped from someone's lips.

I followed his gaze to the door and saw Mrs. Black standing with her hands on her hips and a scowl on her wrinkled face. "McVey! Oakley! Detention for a week! And don't ever let me see this again." She said in her loud and manly voice as she gestured to our position on the floor.

I quickly got off of James and ran up to her, "No it's not like that Mrs. Black we only fell on the floor! Please, I can't have detention for a full week!"

"My decision is final so I'll see you after school Ms. Oakley." And with that, she turned and walked back out of the classroom with her ugly white nurses shoes squeaking on the waxed floor as she went.

I looked around to James to see that he had gotten up from the floor and grabbed his black backpack. He walked towards me and I thought he was going to yell at me for getting him detention, or for making the teacher think there was something going on between us; but all he did was look into my eyes quickly before walking out of the classroom towards his next class.

All I could do was watch his tall frame weave through the bodies in the hallway as I stood in awe of what just happened. Was I really just that close to him? For years I've only imagined the way he would smell, what his perfect eyes would look like up close, or how my body would fit into his. I was now able to picture all of these and more from what just happened, and I might just be able to experience it more during our time together in detention.

Despite the small amount of words we spoke to each other, I felt like he finally noticed me- an actual noticing this time and not just out of an incident. True conversation is its own experience, and experience, not words, is the thing that brings people closer. I truly believe, even if it might seem far fetched, that James and I were now closer. I just hope he saw that, too.