Phan One Shots

Pills

Little Authors Note,

   I'm so sorry about this chapter 😂👌

(Dan's POV)

    I sat in the lounge, looking at the black screen of the tv. The room seemed too empty. Half of everything was gone. It's been two months since Phil "moved out" to "live with his girlfriend". Some of his stuff was still here. Of course I fell into depression. Of course I didn't sleep, and made a lot more videos. The fans were wondering why I was posting so much, but I ignored those comments. Some few were understanding, and it hurt. I faked my happiness, but they knew I still wanted them to be happy.

   My phone buzzed, it was Lousie texting me. Up for a video?

  No. I texted back, then put my phone on silent. I still felt as numb as the day he told me. I had been sleeping in the lounge, yet I couldn't quite find myself to eat.

   I wanted to hit him, blame him for my sorrow. I stood up and lazily walked into the washroom and looked over to the mirror covered in paper. I didn't like my reflection so I hid it completely.

   "Dan? Dan I'm here!" Phil's voice echoed in the small apartment. I walked out from the bathroom and looked at him, but I didn't speak. His eyes became a little wide, and he looked deeply upset.

   "What?" I asked sarcastically.

   "Dan you're..."

   "A mess? I know. Wonder who's fault that is?"

   "I'm sorry..." He looked down. "Have you taken your medicine?"

   "Yes," I nodded. "That's why I see you here."

   "Dan.. I'm actually here..." He took a step forward.

   "Don't fucking lie to me, Phil." I hissed. "You're not!"

   He walked to me in quick strides, pinning me to the wall. "I'm here!" He yelled. "Can you feel my hands holding your wrists??"

   I looked away and shook my head. I had to block this out. I knew this wasn't real.

   "Dan..." His voice cracked. "Look at me...." And so I did. I forgot what it was like to look into those eyes and swim. They made me forget about everything else in the world, I guess that's why I liked looking into them so much. I looked at him.. Into those eyes.. And I was home. I was where I was meant to be.

   "Don't leave me." I whispered as tears threatened to leak. "I don't wanna be alone.."

   "Oh Dan.." Phil let me go and hugged me tightly, I clung to him as I sobbed. He walked us into the lounge and we laid on the sofa. He rubbed my back as I cried and cried until I fell asleep.

   I lifted my head and looked around the lounge, I was alone. There was a nice coming from the kitchen, I felt my heart sink when I seen my mum walk in with two cups of tea.

   "Hey sweetie, you've been asleep for a while." She smiled sadly.

   I buried my face into Phil's pillow. It still had his sent, and if I focused hard enough, I could still hear him laughing.

   "Dan.. You missed the funeral, you won't even get up." She sighed. "Please.. Come stay with me."

   I shook my head, now hugging the pillow. I didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay and surround myself in his clothes and smells and belongings.

   I kept forgetting I used the word Girlfriend for him dying. It was my only coping method. The doctor gave me medicine to help with my depression, but it made me dream of him, made things worse. Everything was dark and grey without him, nothing was there to fill the silence with laughs and stupid puns.

   God I'd give anything to hear him tell me a stupid fact.

And I know it's short *sobs* I'm sorry