crush ⚣ joshler [✔︎]

five

we sat there by my desk. doing homework kind of. i don't think he has ever done homework since he started in this school. i guess he's having a little panic now since we graduate high school next year. and since i get to be with him and look at his cute serious face, i'm more than willing to help.
suddenly his phone rang in his pocket, he picked up quickly.
-hey. he said in a bit of a rush.
-yeah. yeah. i'll be there. now? okay i'm coming. okay. his voice sounded pretty annoyed but as soon as the call ended he turned to look at me and smiled widely.
-i have to go. his smiled dropped a little.
-o-okay. i simply said and smiled back at him.
-you wanna come? his smile returned to his beautiful lips.
-i-i uhm i, s-sure. i answered but regretted it quickly.
-okay let's go then. he said as he packed his bag.

-bye mama. love you. i yelled through the apartment.
-bye tyler. love you. she yelled back with her gentle voice.
i stepped out and looked at josh, he smiled happily at me.
-what? i blurted out as my cheeks heated up furiously.
-mama's boy huh? he asked and pulled out a cigarette from his pocket.
-yeah.. i chuckled lightly and looked at him nervously.
-i kind of have to. since i only live with my mom. i continued on, trying to save the awkward moment.
-true. he simply said and started walking.
-so where are we going? i asked curiously and looked at him a little unsure.
-to brendon. he answered and light the cigarette between his lips.
-cool. what are we gonna do there? i questioned. he chuckled lightly and looked at me with a smirk upon his face.
-that's for you to see. the smirk grew bigger.
-are you gonna rape me? i suddenly asked. he blurted out in hysterical laughter.
-no, of course not. he continued on laughing after answering my question.
-are you sure? i asked with a concerned yet embarrassed expression.
-yep. 100% sure. he said and smiled at me.

the rest of the walk contained us two talking about small things about ourselves. when we finally arrived josh turned to look at me before knocking on the door.
-i know that brendon and the others can be mean to you sometimes but they really are nice guys. tell me if you wanna head home, i'll walk with you. he smiled sadly and turned to knock on the door.
the door swung open and there stood brendon, smirk creeping upon his face.
-hello joshua and tyty. he yells out.
-he gets a nickname but not me? josh asked, a little triggered but laughed right after.
-yeah, he's cooler. brendon said and hugged josh. i got very confused by the statement, he have bullied me since like kindergarten and now he's telling us that i'm cooler than his best friend. what is happening?
-that's very true. josh said and looked at me with a small smile.

we walked down to the basement, there sat all the douchebags, ryan, dallon, spencer, jon, brent, brad, mark and john.
-everyone, this is tyler- or tyty as i tend to call him. he laughed and the others joined quickly. i just stood there awkwardly with josh by my side.
-you can sit down somewhere. josh whispered to me and that's what i did. josh went hug all his friends then he sat down next to me, on my other side was brendon. this felt like a dream and nightmare at the same time.

brendon stood up and walked to the mini fridge, grabbing a bunch of beers and handing one to everyone. then he pulled out three small bags, weed in them all. he fixed a joint and handed it to me.
-you're the guest, you should try first. he smirked at me once again. i took it hesitantly.
-aren't everyone guests here? i asked. he smiled at me.
-no, this is my family. he said gently and looked around. i just nodded and grabbed the lighter he had in his other hand. this wasn't my first time but i was still very nervous. everyone was watching me and it made me very uncomfortable. i lighted the joint and looked around before putting it between my lips, drawing in the toxic air slowly. i took the joint from my lips and exhaled quickly. i looked around again and they all looked at me surprised.
-what? i asked them.
-it's not your first time, huh? brendon asked. i just shook me head, his eyebrows went up to the ceiling and he nodded slowly. i passed the joint to josh who took it eagerly.

the night went on well, surprisingly. the "douchebags" are actually really nice. there was just some awkward moments but it was okay. or the moments i remember at least. josh was gonna stay over at my house since his parents would kill him if they found out about him using drugs.

as we were walking home my phone rang. i picked my phone up from my pocket, my eyes widened when i saw that jenna was calling me. she never calls me.
-hello?
-hey tyler.. i-i need help. you're the only one i can turn to right now. she sounded a little panicked.
-what's wrong? i just simply ask.
-i-i cheated on hayley.. i didn't mean to. tyler what do i do? she means the world to me. you know that.
-oh shit. jenna calm down. we're gonna fix this okay? just don't do it again.
-no i won't, i swear.
-okay good. i'm gonna figure something out okay? now go to sleep, it's 2 am!
-okay, thank you so much tyler. i love you.
-i love you too. bye. i ended the call and looked at josh with concern.
-girlfriend? he asked a little sad.
-what? no. jenna isn't my girlfriend. i laughed.
-aren't you two together? he asked, now confused.
-no. we were. but not anymore. i said simply.
-ohh, what happened? he asked.
-well.. i'm gay. she's gay. not a great match. i laughed once again.
-oh. then i get it. he said and joined my laughter.
we were so stoned.
and drunk.
not a good match for me.