crush ⚣ joshler [✔︎]

seventeen

TRIGGER WARNING!!!
mentions of rape

-w-where am i? i said as i sat up, a head ache immediately banging in my head.
-hey, baby. are you okay? i looked to my left and there sat josh.

josh.

he is the reason to why i don't have a mother right now.
-leave me the fuck alone! i yelled, his face expression turned into one of shock.
-w-what? he asked in confusion, sadness within his voice.
-i said, leave me the fuck alone! you can't do anything right! you fuck everything up! maybe you didn't kill my mom but her blood is on your fingers! he squinted his eyes together.
-unbelievable. he threw his arms up in the air and stood up harshly.
-totally fucking unbelievable. he continued on.
-you know what? i'm done. i'm fucking done with your shit. you don't know half the things i've done for you. i'm sorry i didn't fucking rape you and shit and instead saved you from brendon! i'm sorry. fuck. i was now confused, rape? he started heading to the door.
-wait! he turned around and looked at me with tired eyes.
-i-i'm sorry. i just..i don't have a mom. i immediately broke into a sob, saying that out loud was even harder than just thinking it. he laid down beside me and hugged me tightly.
-i know.. he said in a sad tone.
-how can you possibly know? i asked as tears slowly slid down my cheeks.
-i've never had a mom. or the mom i had was shitty. the person i called my mom, that took care of me, i had to kill. my biological mother made me kill her when i was twelve. i looked up at him with wide eyes.
-i'm so so so sorry.
-yeah.. that's kinda why this all happened, you're right it's all my fault. cuz' the woman i called my mom was actually brendon's mom, so yeah.. i cuddled into his muscular chest.
-i'm sorry. he hugged me tighter as i did the same. we really only had each other now.

i guess it's just you and me now.. you and me against the world, my beautiful lil handsome joshua.

the end.
2017, 30 nov.