Lesson never learned

Epilogue

2 weeks later....

Carter and I haven't been apart at all for the last 2 weeks, we do everything together. Is it completely crazy that I don't want this to ever end? It hasn't been very long and I think I'm falling in love. I feel like I'm on top of the world, this feels like a never ending vacation.

Well, I've never really been on a decent vacation, I don't live anywhere near a beach. Oh! I totally forgot! He finally properly asked me to be his girlfriend! So I can now say I've got the heart of a guy with a great ass!

"Babe.. hurry up. I need to use the bathroom." Carter's groggy voice came through the door.

I sighed and turned off the shower, I love taking really hot showers. I never want to get out. I dried myself off and opened the door. Carter smacked my ass as I walked past, I threw on a T-shirt from my closet.

We've been staying at my place and I'm really surprised that he's okay with driving this far to see me. I've totally been blowing off my worthless dollar tree job, calling in sick just to lay in bed with him all day. I'm quite surprised that I haven't been fired yet. 

We haven't known each other for long and we already talk about the future. I think I'm ready to leave my hoe days behind and stay committed to one guy. My dear friends this is the point in my life where I deserve a round of applause. I'm ready to admit that I have learned my lesson. I know that karma is still out to get me, but I'm actually happy for once.

I put on some decent clothes and grabbed my keys. I kissed him and walked out to my car, I didn't want to tell him where I was going. It's kinda something that I needed to do on my own. Do you remember when I said I'm in no way religious? Well, I'm headed to a catholic church to confess to god, Now that's just not like me. I'm not even catholic, but I'm taking Monica's advice. Monica and I have become good friends over these last weeks, She knows all about what has happened. I feel like we are so much closer. 

I looked up catholic churches on my phone and started navigation. There was one down the street. I pulled into St. paul catholic church. I felt so weird walking up to a church, I haven't been to church in what felt like forever. I walked in and saw tons of empty pews, There was a man standing up on the front stage kneeled down at Mary's feet. He seemed as if he was deep in prayer, I didn't want to bother him, but I also didn't want to stand around awkwardly. I walked up and tapped him on the shoulder, He jumped and looked at me with wide eyes. 

"I'm so sorry for bothering you, I'm just looking to talk to someone about my sins." I said quickly. 

"Oh, it's okay. Absolutely, let's talk about your sins." He said softly, getting up from his knees.  

He led me to a private room in the back, behind the stage. I told him everything I'm not proud of. We talked for 2 hours and I walked out of the church with a sense of relief and my tear stained cheeks.  I confessed and now I feel like I'm ready to make this relationship I have with Carter, everlasting. 

I drove back home and wiped the tears that fell as I drove. I parked in the driveway and sat in my car for a few minutes. I let the tears that begged to fall, fall. I felt relief but at the same time, I felt terrible. Talking about everything, brought back memories. The memories I don't want to remember, the memories I buried deep down. The feeling of those memories coming to surface is the worst. 

After a while of bawling my eyes out in my driveway, I collected myself and went inside. When I walked into my room, Carter was passed out on my bed. I smiled slightly and laughed, I got under the covers with him and he pulled me close to him. We both passed out for a couple of hours, I woke up to a banging on my door. We groaned and I got up to open the door. My roommate Matt was at the door. 

"What the fuck do you want?" I said, pissed off. 

He handed me a paper. "You forgot to pay the rent, I'm not paying for more that I have to. Pay your part or get the fuck out May." Jesus, More rent? Fuck! Adulting is hard as fuck! I didn't say shit to him I just closed the door. I groaned as I saw the balance on the paper. $490.00 Fuck I don't have that! I've been blowing off work, I don't have shit! 

I got back into bed and sighed. Carter trailed his fingers across my hand, attempting to comfort me. "Hey baby, It'll be okay. We can find a place and move in together." he said in a soothing tone. 

MOVE IN TOGETHER! WHAT?! AT THIS VERY MOMENT MY BRAIN DID THE FUCKING FREAK OUT! What is he thinking? What if all of this so called "love" is just lust between us? we haven't even been together a month! I haven't even met his parents, he hasn't even met mine! 

I smiled and nodded in agreement. I have trouble saying no to people, so I always just agree and let it kill me inside. When will I stop being a push over? 

Carter and I spent the rest of the day searching for a perfect place to call home. 

And we lived Happily Ever After, (Well until I mess something up of course.)

 The End.