Run

:15: ƬӇЄ Լ ƜƠƦƊ

:15: The L Word

It doesn’t seem real, that they’re making such a big deal out of this! I didn’t mean to almost kill myself from that cold! I don’t know what I was doing! I was just depressed is all, from not being able to be with my mother.

--

When I awake again, I find myself toppled with blankets, feeling warm for once. I rise from the stack, shoving off the many sheets on me and move my feet to the cold wooden flooring. Without delay, I rise myself up and walk on over to the door, throwing it open and racing out. I didn’t care any longer about what people thought, this was my house too and I wasn’t going to be cooped up in a room for the rest of my existence.

“Good mor-” I was about to finish my sentence, when I noticed the lights still turned off and no one in the living room, but Camic sleeping on the couch. I ignore him for now and walk on over to the window, noticing the dark skies not even lit a bit with any type of sunrise. I must not have slept that long. I think to myself, as I realize that it’s still not even close to morning.

It’s then though, I hear the restless Camic shift in his sleep and a soft moan escapes his lips. I smile at him, since he must be dreaming and walk on over silently to kneel down to his level. His face stays peaceful and calm, while he breathes at a steady rate and all I want for him to do is wrap me up in his arms forever. I know he won’t though, since now he seems to still be taking a dis-liking to my actions and ignoring me for all it takes.

I groan softly to myself and stand up, walking slowly over to the front door. I feel horrible for staying out long yesterday, but this time I’ll make sure to come back in at least a half an hour. I’m about to grab my coat from the rack by the door, when I hear my name faintly from behind me. I turn a bit and look into the darkness of the room, searching over from the empty kitchen, to Camic. When I don’t hear another word though, I think it was all just a play in my head and turn back around for my coat.

“Carnate, stop!” I hear the voice, more urgently this time and I actually listen to it and stop myself from walking out the door. I look back once more, now kind of afraid of who’s talking to me, but when I see him I really shouldn’t be; Camic sits up now on the couch, his hand running through his brown hair, as he looks distinctively toward me. I can’t completely make out everything about him from the darkness all around, but I do know its Camic. “Don’t go out there, Carnate.” he tells me again, standing up fast and walking over slowly.

“Why does it matter to you?” I ask, taking a step back. He seems shocked by my words, from how he hesitates a bit while walking over, but soon enough he gets to me.

“It matters to everyone, we don’t want you out there by yourself again,” he says, trying to take my coat off, but I nudge him back. “Why don’t you just listen to me? You’re always so stubborn and you never seem to care about how your actions affect all of us!” Camic yells a bit, but not loud enough for anyone else to wake up from. It brings back a thought of my father yelling at me and from that, silent tears flood from my eyes. “This is our family now, and we all care too much about you to have you possibly get hurt.” I take in Camic’s words and notice that what he’s saying actually is true. I’m so used to no one caring about me, that I’ve never really thought about how everyone else here would be torn apart if I died; like when I almost did out in the cold.

“Sorry,” I whisper, as I tug off my coat and walk past Camic to sit down upon a couch.

“Aren’t you going back to bed?” Camic asks, coming over to me and sitting down. I look over to him and shake my head.

“I just woke up,”

“Oh,” Is his only reply, making the room incredibly quiet. “By the way…I believe that you went outside to think. Before it seemed foggy but now it’s clear,” he adds in, grabbing my waist and pulling me into him. “but what did you need time to think about?” he asks, making it pretty obvious, he’s trying to get this whole thing worked out already. I smile at that thought, but respond immediately after.

“I was missing my mother,” I tell him it straight, since that’s exactly the reason why I did what I did.

"So you thought the only way to morn, was to sit out in the cold for hours?” he asks, getting madder as we speak. I nod slowly, since that seems like what I was doing. “I didn’t mean to be out there so long, I’m sorry.” I tell him softly, before kissing him on the cheek quick.

“That was a pathetic kiss.” he says, nudging me.  

“No it wasn’t! I thought it was a good kiss.” I tell him, kind of feeling offended by his words.

“Not at all, this here is a good kiss.” he tells me, holding my face and kissing me fully on the lips. “See?” he tells me, releasing his lips from mine with a smile.

“I guess that one was better.” I tell him, leaning back against his chest. It’s silent for a while then and I almost start to fall asleep again, of course until I feel Camic adjust me in his arms and lift me up. “What are you doing?” I ask, as he cradles me, walking over to our bedroom. Well that was a stupid question to ask. I think to myself, realizing he’s bringing me back to bed.   

When I’m plopped back down on all the blankets, I hear Camic close the door silently, before climbing in next to me. I move all the blankets evenly over to Camic as well, but he just tosses them completely off the bed as he leans over to me. Without another thought crossing my mind, Camic’s lips are connected with mine silently.  

“I love you,” he whispers, entwining my right hand with his, as he uses his other to keep himself up.

“I love you too.” I say, making sure I pronounced the words correctly. It’s been a while since I’ve said the L word and actually meant it.

I take the first move then, by bringing my head up and kissing him again and again; liking the feeling I got each time. It was like Christmas day as a child or finally being able to go outside after it raining for hours. Something so simple, yet so worth waiting for.

I soon enough took the lead and rolled him over, to lean over him instead.

“Wow, never thought this would happen,” he smiles, reaching up to caress my cheek. I giggle at him a bit, but just move my lips back to his, as his hands wrap around my back, pulling me down onto him completely. “I like it though.”