How long can we keep this up? Merthur

Chapter Eight

Hey guys! So I wanted to say thanks for all the great comments and reviews! For some reason, Wattpad won't let me respond to comments, so sorry about that! Anywho, here's the new chapter! Hope you like it!

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*Merlin's POV*

I stare at Arthur for a few moments, trying to process what he's just confessed. "Is this some sort of cruel joke?" I ask, pulling away.
Arthur's face falls. "No, Merlin, I-"
"It's not funny," I say, fresh tears filling my eyes.
"It's not a joke," he tries to reassure me. "I swear on the whole of Camelot, this is not a joke."
I don't say anything for a moment, searching for a hint that he might be lying. I must be dreaming. This isn't possible, it was always just a fantasy. If this is real, I could be ruining the future of Camelot. What if this isn't part of my destiny? What if I'm messing everything up right now?
I don't realize I'm having a panic attack until now. Arthur is rubbing my back, trying to soothe me as I hyperventilate. "Calm down, just take deep breaths," he says in a soft tone I've never heard him use before.
I calm down after a few more minutes of this and look at Arthur. "Thank you," I say quietly. "For calming me down."
He just smiles. "Do you want to sit?" he nods towards the picnic blanket and I do as I was asked, still not yet believing this is real.
Arthur clears his throat as he sits down next to me. "Does that happen often?"
I look at him carefully. "More often than I'd like," I admit.
The king looks at me, concern in his eyes. "Are you being treated for it?"
"I don't want to trouble Gaius, so I've never really asked," I shrug, looking away.
Arthur seems to realize that I don't want to talk about this anymore. "Merlin... Gaius told me that you love me." he says quietly.
I nod slowly. "I'm sorry if it put you in an awkward position, you-"
"Didn't you hear me earlier?" he smiles. "I love you, Merlin."
I furrow my brows. "But what about Gwen-" I'm cut off by a sudden rough kiss from Arthur.
I don't react for a few seconds, but soon give in and kiss him back, feeling as if we're the only two people in the world. I smile into the kiss, forgetting every worry that ever crossed my mind.
Reluctantly, we pull apart still smiling. "Now do you believe me?" Arthur smirks.
I roll my eyes, unable to stop smiling. "Is that all you've got?"
"Oh, I've got much more," he winks, and I laugh.
"I'm still not convinced this isn't a dream," I admit.
"You'll just have to trust me when I say: This. Is. Real." the king smiles at me.
"But... are you sure?" I ask shyly.
"Am I sure of what?" Arthur asks, pulling out the food as we speak.
"Are you sure you really love me?"
He sighs. "Merlin, don't you want to believe it?"
"Of course I do, I just-" I look away. "I never imagined this to ever happen,"
"Me neither," he admits, popping a grape into his mouth.
Neither of us say anything for a few moments. I look around at the candles lit around us, realizing just how sweet the whole ordeal is. I hesitate before suddenly kissing Arthur more forcefully this time. His eyebrows raise in surprise, but he kisses back with the same passion.
"Never thought you would be one to take control," Arthur comments after we pull apart.
I laugh and look over his face for a moment, finally able to do this without being shouted at.
"Merlin... you do realize that we can't be public," he says carefully.
I nod. "Yeah... I know."
"You know I would love to, but not everyone would understand,"
"Don't worry, Arthur," I smile. "It's fine."

*Arthur's POV*

I search Merlin's face for traces of emotion he won't let me see, although I know he's sad about the situation. "What about Gwen?" he asks tentatively.
I sigh, thinking about her for a moment. "I'm not sure..."
"You can't lie to her," Merlin states simply.
"I know that," I retort, taking bites of food in between sentences. "I just don't know what I would say to her. 'Sorry, Guinevere, I'm in love with my manservant?' How am I supposed to say that in the nicest way possible?"
I notice he smiled when I said I'm in love with him. His smile is so amazing. He should smile more often. Make everyone's day brighter.
"You could tell her you don't think it's working out," Merlin suggests, breaking my train of thought.
"We're married," I sigh in frustration, lying back on the blanket to stare up at the sky. "Why couldn't I have realized this before I made her queen?"
Merlin doesn't say anything, just lies back with me. I search for his hand and hold it tightly. He doesn't pull away. "I love you, too." he says softly.
"What?" I ask, furrowing my brows.
"You told me you love me earlier. I never said it back," he says simply. I look over at him, smiling.
"You didn't have to,"