adventurous // wolfstar au ✔️

t e n

a/n: so i'm seeing lots of comments for me to update more frequently, would you guys really like that? i honestly didn't know people even were enjoying this fic until the last chapter, so please comment here if you'd like me to update more frequently! x

sirius and remus lay there for a while, remus' face still tucked into sirius' neck. sirius doesn't mind -- finds it super fucking cute, actually -- and just rubs his back, holding him.

"you're sure that was okay?" he keeps asking remus, wanting to be sure remus had wanted to be kissed and that he hasn't crossed a line in any way.

remus finally stops hiding his face. "sirius?"

"yeah?"

"shut up."

that makes sirius laugh, and he kisses remus' forehead. remus lays beside him again, takes sirius' hand in his. they go quiet now, not needing words. they feel safe here with each other, so safe, in fact, that it scares remus a little.

"it's okay," sirius whispers. somehow, he knows. "i'm here. i'm here, remus, and i'm scared, too."

somehow that was exactly what remus needed to hear, and he rolls over, rests his cheek on sirius' shoulder. sirius plays with his hair and remus drifts for a while, eyes shut, somewhere between being awake and dreaming.

he doesn't open his eyes until he hears footsteps, and there lily and james are, red-faced and smiley. lily holds the frisbee in her free hand, the other one trapped in james'. 

"oh, hang on," james says, and lily stops. he gently gets a spare eyelash off her cheek, holds it up to her on his index finger. "make a wish!"

she stares at him. "that's not a thing."

"swear it is. ask sirius," james responds. lily raises an eyebrow at sirius, who nods.

"you're a sap, james," lily responds, smiling, but she makes a wish anyway.

"yeah, i am," james shrugs. "but you made a wish, didn't you?" he winks at her, and she rolls her eyes, cheeks pink. at some point during this exchange, remus has closed his eyes again. sirius is still playing with his hair, and the sensation is making remus sleepy. "you ready to go now, guys?"

"not yet," sirius responds softly, not wanting to disturb remus. when he speaks, remus can hear it from deep in his chest, deeper than his heartbeat. he likes the way it sounds. sirius always sounds like he's on the verge of laughing, and the sound is happy and safe. remus aches from wanting to be more like him.

"okay. sirius, catch," james says suddenly, tossing the frisbee at him. sirius jerks to catch it from under remus, which jostles him, making him whine disapprovingly.

"you shit! you could've hit remus!" sirius snaps. he actually sounds a bit frustrated, but he tosses the frisbee back to james all the same. "sorry, sweetheart, didn't mean to wake you."

remus rubs an eye. "i wasn't fully asleep, it's okay."

something about remus being sleepy makes sirius feel even fonder towards him than he would've anyway. he gently touches the sleepy boy's flushed cheek, and remus leans into his palm, still rubbing his eye. "you ready to go, love?"

remus nods. it takes a good two minutes for sirius to coax remus to actually get up, and within ten minutes, they're back in the van, driving along the freeway. remus curls up into a little ball in the passenger seat, tucking a hoodie under his head like a pillow.

"re, baby, you can stretch out more in the back if you want to," sirius suggests gently.

remus wrinkles his nose. it's such a cute thing that sirius' heart skips a beat. "no."

"why not? you'll be more comfortable back there."

remus mumbles something.

"what was that?" sirius questions.

remus huffs, clearly becoming more irritable and bratty when he's tired. "i said, i wanna stay here. i like being close to you." he yawns. "makes me feel better."

sirius can't even respond, mostly because he knows if he even thinks about saying anything, it won't even come close to how soft he feels in his chest after hearing remus say something like that. and, goddamnit, it wasn't even that sweet of a thing to say, but the fact that it came from this soft, vulnerable place makes sirius unsure of if he wants to kiss the life out of remus or slam his head against the steering wheel. anything to get rid of this mushy feeling that seems way too much like a certain emotion that it's way too soon to be feeling.

- - -

sirius is woken up later by loud knocking at his door. he's confused and sleepy, barely awake, and it takes him a few seconds to remember that they're at a hotel for the night.

"no, thanks, clean our room later," he mumbles, burying his face back in the pillow. the knocking persists, however, and with a groan, he gets out of bed, making his way to the door in just his pj pants. "yeah?" he asks, pulling the door open.

"sirius," remus' voice cries, and a loud sob follows. sirius suddenly finds himself with two armfuls of remus, and he's suddenly wide awake. remus' smaller body is trembling, and he presses his cheek against sirius' bare chest.

sirius feels a wave of panic for a second, entirely unsure of what to do, and then mentally shakes himself. "whoa, baby boy, whoa, what's all this?" he asks gently, rubbing remus' back.

"i -- i --" remus gasps between words. "thunder," he manages, and then dissolves into sobs again. just as he says this, a particularly loud crash of thunder sounds, and he tries to press himself even closer to sirius.

"oh, i see," sirius nods, presses a kiss to the top of remus' head. just that one tiny drop of affection has remus' shoulders untensing, so sirius does it again, a few more times. "where's lily, baby?" he looks around. "wait. where's james?"

remus sniffles. "th-they went out...james told you, but he said you were s-sleeping..." remus flinches when lightning flashes across the windows, and sirius suddenly gets an idea.

"come here, sweetheart, come lay down," sirius says gently, guiding remus to the bed since his face is buried in his chest. when remus gets situated, sirius moves to get up, but remus grabs his arm.

"please don't le-leave me," he chokes, eyes filling with tears again.

sirius leans in and rains kisses on his face. "i'm not going anywhere, love. just give me one second." remus hesitantly lets him go, and sirius makes quick work of closing the curtains so the lightning is no longer visible, and then climbs back into the bed beside remus. as soon as sirius is under the covers, remus scoots closer to him and cuddles into his chest. sirius hums loudly, doing his best to drown out the sounds of the thunder, and remus shuts his eyes, tearstains on his cheeks. "that's it, love, just relax for me."

"sorry..." remus mumbles.

"what? why?"

"i...i just barged in...i'm bothering you..."

sirius can feel him trying to distance himself. "no, remus, i don't mind. i really don't. i'm actually glad you came to me -- i'd feel so bad knowing you were just in your room by yourself when you're so upset." he rains kisses on remus' face again until the smaller boy giggles. "i mean it."

"okay," remus whispers. being here with sirius has drowned out the thunder entirely; he's barely even aware of it.

"remus," sirius whispers back.

remus opens his eyes. "huh?"

"can i kiss you?"

remus nods, and sirius leans in. the kiss is brief, soft, but it still leaves remus lightheaded. he hides his smile in sirius' chest, leaves a tiny kiss over his heart. sirius is smiling so widely it hurts his face, and there, entangled in each other's arms, they fall asleep.