t w e l v e

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a/n: hi everyone!! the last chapter got a lot less comments, so i wanted to check in and make sure you're all still enjoying this fic!! also, do you guys want mostly fluff or angst in this fic?? i'm far more comfortable with fluff, but if you'd like angst, i can try my best!! thank u, love u!! also, i hope u guys have eaten and had enough to drink today!! take care of urselves okay?? be gentle and nice to urself and maybe have a few cookies!! i had like three even though i didn't need them, treat urself!! ur comments just make me so so happy ok i'm always like smiling at my laptop and i hope that my updates make u guys that happy too!! even if it was just like half as happy i would be so glad w/ that!! ok i'm annoying as heck i'm gonna shut up now srry!! love u byE!!

"i still can't believe you called me a wet sandwich," sirius mutters to himself as they pull their suitcases out of the motel.

"sorry. you earned it," remus says back, smiling a little.

sirius shakes his head, tiny, fond smile on his face. "hey, sweetheart, i'll meet you at the van, okay? i've gotta tell james about the regulus situation."

remus nods. "okay, sounds good." he starts to part ways with sirius, suitcase in hand, but the dark-haired boy catches him by the elbow. "what's wrong?"

"nothing," sirius says back, small smile on his face. he simply leans in, kisses remus' forehead, and walks the other way. it's actually annoying to remus that it makes him blush, and he rubs at his face with his free hand as he walks his suitcase to the van.

"hey," lily's voice says, and remus turns, surprised and smiling. he feels a flash of guilt at almost forgetting she'd been there. "where were you last night? i got home and you were gone," she says, a small smirk on her lips.

remus rolls his eyes. "i could ask you the same thing, lily..."

lily sighs. "touché. james and i got milkshakes and he drove donuts in the parking lot until he almost threw up."

that makes remus laugh. "bet you had more fun than me."

"try me."

"i had a panic attack and sirius calmed me down."

"did the calming down involve sucking his dick?"

"lily!" remus gasps, embarrassed, and he smacks her arm.

lily is laughing. "i'm just kidding, remus."

"you're a jerk," he huffs, rubbing at his cheeks again.

"well, you should've gone for it," lily frowns.

"gone for what?" sirius questions, sipping on a cup of coffee. he hands the other mug in his hand to remus. "you like lots of cream and sugar, right, baby?"

remus is annoyed that he's blushing again. "yeah, you're right. thank you." he cheerfully takes a sip.

"gone for what, lily?" sirius repeats.

"nothing!" remus chirps at the same second that lily says, "i told remus he should've sucked your dick."

the absolutely horrified expression on remus' face cuts off any laughter that would've escaped sirius if he hadn't seen it. "oh, wow," he begins, having no idea what to say to that.

remus watches his face, nervous. he doesn't seem angry, though, which he guesses is a good sign. 

"well, i appreciate your concern for my dick, carrot top, but i think we're all good over here," sirius laughs. remus' shoulders slump a bit in relief. soon after, james comes out of the hotel lobby, and they part ways.

remus is too quiet in the van, sirius notices that immediately. it's not much, considering the boy isn't really one for conversation, but he seems more withdrawn. he interlaces his fingers with sirius' when he takes his hand, but he doesn't look at him.

"remus, i won't make you suck my dick," he says bluntly.

remus just lets out a whine and hides his face in his arm.

"should i not have said that? i just wanted you to know. i won't make you do anything you don't want to. kissing is more than enough for me, and if you wanted to stop doing that, that's okay, too." sirius runs his thumb over the back of his hand. "baby, can you look at me, please? i want to be sure i'm not crossing any lines. i want to be sure you're okay with what's happening."

sirius is horrified that when remus finally looks up at him, tears are in his eyes. "you promise?" he asks in a small voice, lower lip quivering. sirius actually pulls the van to the side of the road simply because of the tremor in remus' voice.

"sweetheart," sirius begins, cupping remus' face in his hands so the sweet boy has to look him in the eye. "remus, i will never make you do anything you don't want to. i promise you that. i'll ask you permission before doing anything, just to be sure. i don't want you to feel like you owe me anything, okay? you don't. you don't owe me a damn thing, and the fact that you want to share these experiences with me means the world." he kisses remus' forehead, stays there for a second. he wants to be sure remus is hearing him. "if i'm ever going too far, please, please tell me."

remus nods slowly. "there was a guy," he begins, but he's shaking, and sirius is already pretty sure he knows what remus is going to tell him. "he...he plugged my nose, made...made me k-keep my mouth open..."

"shhh," sirius says gently, kisses the end of remus' nose. "you don't have to talk about it, sweetheart. i'll never do that to you. i'm never going to hurt you, remus."

remus hides his face in the space between sirius' neck and shoulder. "i know you won't," he whispers into sirius' skin. he believes every word. "i...i feel safe here."

sirius closes his eyes, pulls remus even closer somehow. "i do, too." he pulls back. "can i kiss you?"

remus is smiling again. "no, your make out privileges are still taken away, you wet sandwich."

"i thought we'd established they were given back," sirius replies, trailing his thumb over the row of hickies on remus' neck. one of them is still a bit sore, and it makes remus squirm a little when sirius touches it.

"really? i don't remember that," remus says back, smiling, back to being the little shit sirius knows he is.

"you're a brat," sirius laughs, but his hand goes up to stroke remus' cheek affectionately.

"can we get matching hats at disneyland?"

sirius chuckles. "of course. can we get them embroidered to say 'wet sandwich'?"

remus laughs so hard his stomach hurts. "no! yours has to say that. you have to give me my own nickname."

"oh, i do? hefty responsibility you're giving me here, sweetheart."

"can you handle it?"

"oh, shut up," sirius chuckles. he pauses, thinking, and throws his hair into a bun in the process. it's stupidly attractive, and remus puts a hand out to smooth some of the hair that slipped out of the bun. his fingers are tiny and cold to the touch while sirius is like a human heater, so the contrast makes him shiver. "i want you to get 'babycakes' embroidered on yours."

that makes remus giggle. "babycakes?"

"yeah, because i've been calling you baby a lot, and you love pancakes. and pancakes is what we were eating when i realized how much i really like you," sirius says. the end of his second sentence makes his voice and gaze go fond, and remus ducks his head, blushing to the tips of his ears.

"okay," he says shyly. "we'll be walking around with 'wet sandwich' and 'babycakes' on our hats."

sirius laughs and then sighs. "real life, actual relationship goals."

"relationship goals?" remus repeats. "are we in a relationship?"

"i don't know," sirius says back, turning to face remus. his question is fair, considering they've only known each other for two weeks or so at this point. "are we?"

remus shifts in his seat. "um...yes...?"

sirius beams from cheek-to-cheek and leans over to kiss remus' forehead. "then yes. relationship goals it is."

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