i often say that i'm lonely, because i don't have a brother or sister and because my parents are always working. there's more to that feeling. there's more to not having my parents around. it's the feeling of being ousted from friends because i was an easy target to bully and to take advantage of when i was six. it's the feeling when a six year old had no friends in her school because she was too peculiar and too carefree. it's the feeling created being made fun of because of ugly teeth and a unibrow. it's being compared to horrendous characters, because it's some sick joke. to make it even worse, it's the terrible feeling of sadness when your parents just try to get rid of your problems instead of telling you that you're a beautiful human being, just the way you are. it's the sick to the stomach feeling, when you've been accepted by a group of people and then been kicked and pushed around with the same people. it's the feeling of seeing an F in my report card after working so hard. i thought i would have gotten used to the feeling of loneliness, but funnily enough, it's gotten new ways of creeping up on me; when i'm surrounded with people. it just taunts me. it reminds me of who i used to be.
when i sit in the darkness,
my hands tremble,
and the air is suffocating.
my tears are hot,
and my thoughts are wild.
loneliness; h.k
