How Could You?

What she had...

Lindsey tried to forget about the matter, while they were on their mini vacation. Stevie didn't make any secret calls again and she seemed to be in a good mood. Despite knowing her as well as he did, seeing all the signs that something wasn't right, Lindsey told himself not to jump to any conclusions. Maybe she was being honest and maybe it was really Karen she spoke to that day...

Stevie and Lindsey came home about a week later after they left. Even though she didn't really want to go at first, she was glad they did after all. Once they left Mick's and it was just the two of them for a few days, Stevie felt as if they were on their second honeymoon. Lindsey showered her with attention and she loved it. He wasn't exactly forcing himself to do it, but subconsciously he wanted to show her how much he truly loved her and what a wonderful husband he was to her. He wanted to prove himself.

"How are you two?" Karen asked, welcoming them back home.

"Tired." Stevie groaned, walking through the door, Lindsey following her. "If you have nothing for me then I'm going to go to bed."

"Isn't it a bit early?" Karen checked her wristwatch, raising an eyebrow.

"She was restless the whole night." Lindsey said.

"Thanks, Dad." Stevie rolled her eyes.

"I'll carry these upstairs." Lindsey picked up the suitcases again, walking past the two women.

"Did we get anything else?" Stevie asked, once they were alone.

"Just a few of the same." Karen shrugged.

"Did you get rid of them like I asked you to?" Stevie put the kettle on, then reached for a cup, placing it down on the counter and tossing in a teabag.

"The letters, yes. The pictures..."

"Karen!" Stevie hissed. "You're my assistant, you're paid for doing what I tell you."

"But you don't even know what kind of pictures, Stevie. How can you tell me to just throw them out?"

"I think, I've got a pretty good idea."

Without a word, Karen disappeared from the kitchen, going outside to her car. She returned a minute later, carrying a file with her. She held it out for Stevie, who hesitated to take it. Hearing footsteps, Stevie quickly grabbed the file from Karen after all and hid it in one of the drawers, knowing Lindsey wouldn't look there, nor did he have a reason to.

"You should go. Thank you for taking care of Sula." Stevie told Karen, giving her a pointed look.

Karen sighed and then nodded her head. "No problem. Call me if you need anything. Bye, Lindsey." She added on her way out.

"Would you like a cup of tea?" Stevie offered, pouring the boiling water in her cup.

"No, thanks." Lindsey shook his head. "If you're going to bed, do you mind if I spent some time in the studio?"

"Sure, of course. Don't leave me for too long." Stevie smiled at him, kissing him briefly, before going up the stairs to their bedroom.

Placing her tea down on the nightstand, Stevie went to the closet for a nightgown. She changed out of her clothes and into her nightwear, instantly feeling a lot better. Sulamith had followed after her into the room, barking once, asking to be taken to bed. Getting under the covers with her beloved pet by her side, Stevie took a sip of her tea and tried to relax, but she wasn't very successful at that. Her mind was focused on that file downstairs. Pushing the covers off her, she swung her legs over the edge of the bed and got up, leaving the bedroom and going to the kitchen. She stopped to listen for a moment, but she didn't hear Lindsey, so she opened the drawer and took the file out, bringing it with her upstairs. Settling in bed again, she started thinking whether she truly wanted to see what was inside. Her heart fluttered at the thought and she gave in.

Tears sprung to her eyes immediately. She held a whole bunch of pictures in her hands, that she could barely look at. Staring at one for a good while, she then picked up another, then the third and fourth, until she got through all of them, being a total sobbing mess in the end. She was never supposed to get those pictures, she was never supposed to see what she had and what she lost. What she lost by her own choice.

Once she managed to calm down herself a little bit, Stevie gathered all the pictures and put them back into the file and went back into the closet, hiding it in one of the boxes, where she held things, that she didn't necessarily wanted Lindsey to see.

When Lindsey came out of his studio and entered the bedroom about an hour later, he found Stevie lying on her side, with the lights out and he could hear her sniffle.

"Steph?" He frowned, kneeling by her side of the bed. "Stevie, what's the matter?" He brought a hand up to her face, caressing her cheek softly. "Baby, why are you crying?"

Covering his hand with hers, Stevie then turned her head slightly, kissing his palm. "Kiss me, Linds."

"What?"

"Just, please, give me a kiss." She asked again and Lindsey didn't hesitate, leaning in to press his lips against hers firmly.

"Are you going to tell me why you are like this?" He asked again.

Swallowing uneasily, Stevie slowly sat up and reached to turn the bedside lamp on. She had to just look at him for a minute, at his concerned expression, as he held her hand, waiting for her to say something.

And she did.

"I had a baby, Lindsey."