How Could You?

You wish

"We're leaving." Lindsey said, passing by the bedroom. He didn't even take the time to enter the room and check if Stevie was actually there.

With a heavy sigh, Stevie got up from the seat in front of the vanity and followed after Lindsey, although he was already out of the house, waiting in the car for her. She got in, fastened the seat belt and turned to look out the window, Lindsey wasn't going to talk to her anyway.

Once they reached the given address, Lindsey parked the car and a minute later, Sheryl came out of the apartment building and approached them. Lindsey opened the door of his side and got out, frowning due to the expression Sheryl wore.

"Hi." She first said, unsure how to continue. "Um..."

"Well? What is it?" Lindsey urged, crossing his arms over his chest. 

"Alice doesn't want to meet both of you at the same time. She was excited, when I told her that she'll get to know her parents, but just this morning, she told me that she's scared and locked herself in her room." Sheryl explained. "I managed to talk her into seeing one of you today and trust me, it took a lot to get her to agree."

"Fine, I don't see the problem with that." Lindsey shrugged, turning around. "Stevie, you're going to st-"

"No, Lindsey, wait." Sheryl stopped him. "Stevie is the one Alice wants to meet." Lindsey huffed, then faced Stevie, glaring at her, his jaw clenched. "You can't let your emotions get the better of you. It's what Alice wants."

Exhaling heavily, Lindsey nodded, giving in. "You're right, sorry. I just..." Glancing at Stevie again, he said. "You heard Sheryl, so..."

Climbing out of the car, Stevie stood on the pavement, looking very uncomfortable, keeping her head down. She hoped to lock eyes with Lindsey, to apologize with a simple look, but when Sheryl came to stand by her side, Lindsey got behind the wheel and slammed his fist against it.

"I don't think I can do this." Stevie's voice was barely audible. She wasn't sure if she even wanted Sheryl to hear her.

"Yes, you can. I think you owe it to your daughter that."

"She's not my daughter."

"But she is, Stevie." Sheryl stopped her. "You might not have been by her side for all these years, but you brought her into this world. You thought about her, when you chose to find a family, where she would be taken great care of, knowing you couldn't give her that. You can say whatever you want, you can pretend, you can detach yourself, but I won't believe it for a second that you don't love her." With that, Sheryl proceeded walking and Stevie took unsure steps behind her, the words just spoken ringing in her head. 

When they got to the apartment, Sheryl retrieved the key from her back pocket and unlocked the door, pushing it open, showing Stevie to enter. 

"I'll tell Alice you're here. Please, have a seat." Sheryl said, leading Stevie to the living room. 

Stevie was anxious beyond words. She sat, waiting, nervously tugging at the sleeves of her blouse, as she looked around the modestly decorated room. Hearing voices, Stevie stood up and faced the doorway, when it suddenly hit her - she was about to come face to face with her daughter.

And there she was; a slender, dirty blonde haired beauty. Alice's facial features clearly resembled Stevie's. Her eyes were big and chocolate brown - something she inherited from her mother as well. Even the corners of her lips faced downwards...

Neither of the two knew what to do next. Alice took a step closer, thinking of something to say, while Stevie covered her face with both hands and started crying. She couldn't stop, even when she felt shortness of breath, she just couldn't control herself. Alice glanced at Sheryl as if asking something and she received a nod and a small smile. 

Feeling a pair of arms wrap her in a hug, Stevie pulled her hands away and couldn't believe it was Alice. Stevie hugged her daughter back and they stood like that for a good while, Sheryl deciding to give them some time alone.

"We look so alike." Alice spoke up at last, to which Stevie replied by saying how sorry she was. "Let's take a seat." The girl then added. "Please, stop crying..."

"I find it hard to do." Stevie said, taking slow deep breaths. "I'm sorry, I just... I never imagined I would meet you again, I... I had no idea I wanted to meet you again. Alice, I'm so sorry." Stevie apologized again, unsure of what else she could say. "I didn't even really want to come today." Stevie admitted. "It's not because of you, but because I thought you hated me. Maybe you do..." She shrugged. 

"I don't." Alice shook her head. "I don't know you."

Feeling a new wave of emotions coming, Stevie did her best not to start again. "Is there something you'd like to know?" Stevie asked, taking out a tissue from her handbag. 

"I guess... I guess, I'd like to know, why you didn't keep me?" Alice asked, still in a very childlike way, even though she was thirteen.

"I wasn't fit to be a mother. I wanted you, I did. I was happy to know I was carrying you, but..." Sighing, Stevie shrugged. "I'm not sure how much you know about my past."

"Mom told me that you were struggling at the time." Alice said, though she didn't know what Stevie was struggling with.

"I was, that's true. If I was going to bring a child into this world, I wanted the best for them. I wasn't the best for you back then, Alice. I was going through a lot, I had problems... You didn't need to be around all that." Stevie was trying to explain, yet at the same time speak vaguely about her past. "I made a decision to find the most wonderful, loving couple to love and care for you."

"D- did you love me?"

"With all my heart." Stevie nodded, tearing up again. "You were all I had for those nine months, Alice. I wish things were different, I do... Even if I wasn't left alone, still, you made me feel like a had someone. You were always with me, I talked to you all the time, I sang to you, I told you stories." A sad smile crossed Stevie's lips. "I loved you a lot. I love you. I simply tried not to think about you, about giving you up, because it was too hard. I carried this secret with me for all these years, hidden, locked inside my heart. Today, when you stood in front of me... everything just burst."

"What about my Dad? Mom talked to me about it a little bit, but..." Alice trailed off, nervously rubbing her hands together.

"Despite how horrible it sounds, I don't know who your father is." Stevie hung her head low, ashamed. "There were two men in my life then, but I can't say it's one or the other and be certain about it. In my heart of hearts, I believe, that your father is the love of my life, that he's the man I'm married to."

"I'd like to meet him, too." Alice said, but quickly added. "But not today. This isn't very easy for me to process."

"Of course it isn't. I understand. I want you to know, Alice, that this is going to go your way. None of us gets a say in this, it's up to you." Stevie didn't even notice how she took Alice's hand, but the girl didn't pull away.

Alice just stared for a moment at Stevie, before saying... "I don't hate you."

Closing her eyes, Stevie smiled, as she then looked lovingly at her one and only child. "I never thought hearing that would make me so unbelievably happy. That was my biggest fear, that's why I was so afraid to come see you. I wouldn't survive, knowing that my baby hated me."

Smiling shyly, Alice just shook her head, gladly leaning in to hug Stevie, when she opened her arms. 

About twenty minutes later, Stevie returned to the parking lot, where Lindsey's car was, somewhat surprised to see he was still waiting. Getting into the passenger's seat, Stevie avoided Lindsey's ice cold eyes the best she could. 

"You can't even say thank you?" He spat. "If not for me, you wouldn't have even met her today."

"Lindsey, please... Can we talk about it at last, like two adults?" Stevie pleaded, but Lindsey just scoffed, shaking his head.

"You fucking wish."